10 behaviors that a woman does not have to put up with her partner
A lot has changed the world for a century, but unfortunately there are still many remnants of the deeply macho culture that until recently dominated our society.
This is also evident in the context of couple relationships, in which, too often, the irrationality of love is mixed with the irrationality of a system of gender roles in which the male gender is more likely to have a role dominant, directly or indirectly, over the other person.
Of course, this is not always the case, and many couples the harmony between their two members is perfectly healthy, but that does not prevent many women from becoming involved in a type of toxic relationship that damages them almost daily, something that responds to Data on domestic violence is less frequent than in the case of men. They simply have a greater facility to assume a dominant role or one in which they are not subject to the other person's designs.
Related article: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"
Couples that treat the other as if it were an object
A good part of the harmful or uncomfortable and degrading experiences that can be generated in relationships arise from the reification, that is to say, the tendency to treat someone as if they were an object , something without genuine motivations, without objectives and without a valid point of view by itself.
The reification is normally something automatic and involuntary, and in the case of men, is favored by a cultural heritage in which important decisions are made by the male gender . Women can also treat a man as an object (and it happens frequently in certain contexts), but in the context of the couple it is less frequent because they are not predisposed to it by this cultural bed.
Taking measures in this regard
It is precisely because of the automatic and unconscious nature of the reification that it is not always easy to detect symptoms that in a relationship are giving harmful dynamics, behaviors directed towards women (usually, although sometimes also towards men) they do not have to be endured and that it is important to end these pernicious and degrading behaviors .
Identifying toxic behavior
The ones that follow are Some guidelines for detecting this type of problem and know how to distinguish them from what is "normal and expected" in a healthy relationship.
1. The systematic cries
Everyone can scream when they get angry or when they get emotional in a special way, but also it is possible for men to use shouting in a systematic way to impose their point of view and show their potential for violence indirectly.
This is noticeable when you notice that the other person shouts for no reason at the minimum that expresses a contrary point of view, or just at the beginning of discussions in which has not yet come to give reasons for anger. If this is repeated systematically, it is very possible that the screams are being used with intimidating zeal.
In couple relationships, there are no reasons that can justify an insult . Of course, there are cases and cases, and sometimes some derogatory comments can be used as a joke to comment on a behavior that is funny.
However, insults with connotations of contempt or in a situation of anger are a serious symptom, since they do not stop being a totally inadmissible verbal aggression.
3. The eternal condescension
Treat the couple as if they were a minor and had no criteria it means, basically, that it is believed that the other person lacks the characteristics that define an adult. Unjustifiable condescension is a way of underestimating the other person indirectly.
We must distinguish this type of behavior from those that are aimed at teaching a person a subject or skill that does not dominate, for being very specific. However, condescension is a type of attitude that is present independently of the issue around which the conversation turns.
4. The lies continued
Honesty is one of the basic ingredients in relationships, so the lies are doubly serious in them. If the deceptions become recurrent, something goes really wrong.
Feeling sexual attraction towards people outside of the couple or having a very intimate relationship with other people for whom one might feel attracted is not always infidelity in love; Finally, there are polyamorous relationships. However, in monogamous relationships, which are usually the norm, It is very important not to break the consensus about the commitments that each member of the relationship should make .
We must bear in mind that once the rules have been broken and an infidelity has been committed, it is easier to reoffend. The fact that men tend to have more intense sexual impulses is no excuse, since relationships of this type are based on symmetry: both members must adhere to the same rules so that the relationship is not distorted.
6. Teasing about one's own tastes
Spending a lot of time together implies, also knowing well the tastes and hobbies of the other person. One way in which you can show condescension towards the other person is making disparaging comments about the music style, hobbies or cultural tastes of the couple .
If these jokes are repeated, they stop being funny comments (or not) and become a way to make clear the moral and intellectual superiority of oneself. It is a toxic behavior that should be avoided.
Teasing can also be about the socio-economic origin of the couple : the economic level of your family or the land from which it comes, especially if it is associated with a rural or poor environment.
Remembering constantly the humble origins of the other person is to imply that it is the couple who has "restrained" them from that medium, and therefore, can give rise to the idea that they have a debt to them.
8. Threats and physical aggression
On this section there is very little to say: the blows and the attempts to give fear are a reason to immediately break the relationship and take legal action. They are not justifiable in any way.Recommended article: "The cycle of violence in relationships"
9. When it is assumed that the woman should take care of the house
There is no excuse that can justify that the woman must take care of the domestic tasks for the simple fact of being a woman . The expected thing is that both members of the couple are responsible for these functions equally, unless there are specific conditions that prevent it.
To believe that the natural space of women is the kitchen is the clearest example of macho mentality, which is totally toxic.
10. Jealousy and sickly hermeticism
If the couple tries to master the way in which the other person spends his time alone (or with friends), he is being more than a couple and becomes a jailer. Jealousy is a problem that is fundamentally individual.You may also be interested: "Sick jealousy: 10 signs of overly jealous people"