yes, therapy helps!
10 signs to know if you are living authentic love

10 signs to know if you are living authentic love

May 5, 2024

To feel true love for someone and to be reciprocated is, possibly, one of the best experiences that people can feel.

Have that special someone next to you every day, live unforgettable moments and know that the person you love is going to be with you in good times and bad, is priceless. Who has experienced it, will know that he has lived the happiest moments with his faithful companion .

Different types of love

Authentic love could be considered as the purest and most noble love , although not always manifested in a romantic relationship. We often confuse authentic love with passion or falling in love. The first is that love that is based on trust and respect, on the purest friendship; and these characteristics do not have to be given, for example, in passionate love, and that is, as the saying goes, "authentic love is a friendship with erotic moments". Authentic love is a love that allows us to be free and accept our partner as he is, we must work it, and it has to do with the values ​​of the person.


Some theorists have tried to address this concept, which is actually complex, to make a classification of different types of love. One of the best known is Sternberg, the author of the Triangular Theory of love. His theory states that there are three elements that interact with each other to form one type or another of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. For example, love with intimacy and commitment is sociable love. In addition to this, and according to Sternberg's theory, there are other types of love: affection, romantic love, infatuation, fatuous love or empty love.

  • You can learn more about the different types of love in our article: "Sternberg's triangular theory of love"


Signs of authentic love

However, in addition to this classification, other authors speak of true or authentic love , which is a type of love that has a series of characteristics that you can find below. The signs of true love are:

1. It is a mature love

For love to be authentic, it is not only necessary that there is intensity , but that the two people should behave as adults and should help and do their part so that the relationship follows their path together. For love to be mature it is necessary that certain characteristics are met, as an example: good communication and the understanding that the other member of the couple also has feelings.

Mature love is based on the idea that this kind of love must be worked on and things do not happen by themselves. Two people may be very attracted, however, not being able to control their emotions. The result is often misunderstandings and overly passionate behaviors that can deteriorate the relationship.


  • Maybe you're interested: "Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?"

2. It is rational and realistic

And it is that mature and authentic love is also a rational and realistic love, in which the person is aware of what he is living and not only feels but also thinks.

Rational love knows that people are not perfect and that the relationship can go through ups and downs . The real problem is not the ups and downs themselves, but how they are solved. Rational love does not feed on feeling alone, nor is it pure impulse. In other words, it is a sensible love.

3. It is based on friendship

Authentic love is not the result of simple attraction, but there is something in it that makes you really care about the other person , that you feel it close, that it is your friend. You share good moments with your partner, enjoy their presence, learn new things with him or her and it is better than any friend you can have. It is, without a doubt, your best friend.

4. There is commitment

Commitment is key in relationships and in authentic love . This type of love is characteristic of individuals who are prepared for a relationship and have a clear vision of stability. Commitment is not attachment, but it is the desire to be with that person over time.

5. Projects in common

The commitment helps create common projects and visualize a shared future with that special person. If the love is not true, hardly the two members of the couple will make plans together beyond the present, for example, going to live together.

6. It is negotiated

Authentic love is based on negotiation and dialogue , because each member of the couple does their part to understand the needs of the other person and, furthermore, understands that the relationship is a matter of two. Authentic love is altruistic and works because it is a mature love, in which communication is a basic pillar of the relationship.

7. It is unconditional and the other person is respected

And therefore, it is a love that is based on respect . It is unconditional, and when things go wrong, they try to resolve instead of looking the other way. That is why we negotiate and propose alternatives to solve problems.

8. Does not make you suffer

If you are in a relationship that makes you suffer, then it is not authentic love . In true love the relationship is symmetrical: one day you and the next gives the other member of the couple. There may be misunderstandings, but good times far outweigh bad times.

  • Related article: "23 signs that you have a 'toxic relationship' of a partner".

9. It is free

It is free in the sense that there are no ties . The person does not press the other person or force or submit with a manipulative attitude. Love flows because the two members are comfortable with what they have and what they think. They respect and love each other.

10. Each member behaves as is

For two people to truly love each other they must first love themselves . Authentic love is born of one's own love for oneself. We can hardly love other people if we do not want ourselves as we are. If the relationship with ourselves is bad, as a result, we will be dependents of our partner. That is not authentic love.

  • Related article: "Self-acceptance: 5 psychological tips to achieve it"
Similar Articles