14 toxic words that you should eliminate from your vocabulary
There are toxic words that we should not use . Some of them are negative for us because they are limiting terms that prevent us from moving forward and develop, others are not very specific and others can damage the self-esteem of the person to whom we say it.
As psychologist Nuria Luján Treviño states: "The way we use language affects others, because we can sink someone or change their attitudes according to what we say."
- Related article: "The 16 types of language (and their characteristics)"
We are what we say
Words have a positive or negative effect on ourselves and others. Catherine Pratt, author of the book "How to deal with negative people", says that negative people can cause others to feel exhausted or even depressed. And is that the words we use not only affect other individuals, but they speak a lot about us . As the popular phrase says, "language is the reflection of our thinking".
Toxic words also have consequences on our own image and on how others see us. People want to surround ourselves with positive people and avoid those people who make us feel bad and who project negativity. In addition, toxic words are also limiting words, in the sense that they limit our personal development and do not allow us to achieve success.
A list of toxic words
But, What toxic words are there? What are the negative words?
There are a series of terms that we should not use as part of our language. They are the following.
1. Incompetent
There are words that when someone receives them they make him feel like a clumsy and inept person. That's why you should avoid calling someone incompetent. Why? Because each person has a series of virtues and defects, and it can be good to perform some tasks but not others .
For example, an equal person is not good at working as a waiter, but can have a great command of new technologies and performs excellently as a web programmer. In order not to use the word incompetent in relation to work to studies, it is always advisable to encourage this individual to find his true passion. It may not work for that job, but there will be another in which fits perfectly and in which you can exploit their skills.
2. Rare
Individuals can have many prejudices and get on the defensive with what does not fit into our mental patterns. There are many cultures with their ways of thinking and their values and their customs, and this is what makes our world so varied, rich and diverse. C When we say that someone is weird, we are saying that we are normal , when, in reality, we are all different.
If you are someone who calls someone strange and suffers some kind of problem, you should be grateful for the luck you have had to be born in a good family and for enjoying good health. Life can be very unfair to some people.
3. I need you
This phrase, if used in a relationship, refers to emotional dependence. It is used by people who have low self-esteem and who engage in a relationship despite being toxic. When someone enjoys high self-esteem he does not need anyone to be happy , because the couple is a complement and it is not everything for him or her.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a loved one, or expressing that love that you feel. However, to confuse this with normalizing the fact that it depends on the other (with all that this implies) can cause it to fall into a kind of small sect based on two people.
- Related article: "12 tips to overcome emotional dependence"
4. I can not
"I can not" is one of those limiting words that make it impossible for you to take action and are paralyzing . Except in extreme cases, the effort and perseverance will allow you to reach your goals, as long as these goals are realistic and you know how to manage your resources. But you have to be clear that many times, the biggest barrier between yourself and the achievable goals are the thoughts of self-sabotage, created as an excuse to not leave the comfort zone.
5. I must, I should not
"I owe or I do not owe" has to do with a series of social beliefs or what others tell you to do. You are the only person who knows what motivates you and what will make you happy. So now you can delete this word from your personal dictionary or the phrases like: I have to get married, I have to be a doctor, etc. Better to use it like this: "I want to be a fireman" or "I want to travel" .
6. Impossible
This word is similar to "I can not", and as stated above, except in some cases, realistic goals can be achieved . More than impossible, it would be better to say: "It is difficult but not impossible."
The point is that although in practice there are things that can not be done in a given time and with the resources available, we often use the concept of the impossibility of not moving from the place, not striving to progress.
7. I hate
Hate is a negative emotion that encourages aggression and violence . According to the psychologist Manuel Vitutia in the Huffington Post, "This emotion steals our peace and does not let us enjoy anything else. Feeling hate is like suffering from an ulcer. "We will not achieve anything by telling someone that we hate him, acceptance is always better and moving forward without grudges.
8. Bored
There are always things to do, if you're bored is because you have a little rich life . Instead of staying on the couch watching the TV, you'd better go for a walk, run or read an interesting psychology book like these: "The 30 best Psychology books you can not miss".
9. Angry
Anger is often a reaction that we regret . For example, when we are in a couple and explode for some nonsense, then it's time to apologize for our reaction and recognize that it was not so bad. Experts say that anger is a secondary reaction that often hides insecurity, fear or sadness. Therefore, if you are going to get angry, first analyze if there is no other cause that is causing your anger.
10. Blame
Blaming others can also mask our own insecurities , and can avoid recognizing that we are also guilty. In fact, it is easier to blame the other than to make a deep reflection on your part of guilt.
11. Ugly
We live in a society that values the physical aspect of people and in which a culture of the image predominates . And not everyone has physical traits that fall in love. But that does not entitle you to despise someone for that reason, because you may treasure other important qualities in your interior. Calling someone ugly can hurt them a lot and that's why we should delete them from our dictionary.
12. Useless
Calling someone useless is like calling him incompetent . It is a degrading insult that should be avoided at all costs. At work, if you think someone does not have the necessary qualities to perform that function, let them know but motivate them to dedicate themselves to something else. Surely you can bring out your talent in another way.
13. Failure
The word failure must be erased from the personal dictionary , because it is a limiting word and, therefore, negatively interferes with personal development. The failures are experiences that can be learned and are very enriching experiences.
14. Bad
Calling someone bad is not specific . Also, whether something is good or bad can be debatable. For example, there are people who think that having sex with more than one person is bad but in reality it is not like that.
Also, we can call someone a bad person simply because he does not treat us as we would like. To take another example, if our partner leaves us, the pain will make us see her as a bad person, because it is the resentment that is manifesting.
