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18 basic tips to be a good mother

18 basic tips to be a good mother

January 4, 2023

Definitely, Being a mother is one of the most rewarding and wonderful experiences that a woman can live, and for many it is a culminating moment of her life. The mother figure is extremely important for the growth of a son or daughter and influences how it develops in different areas of his life: personal well-being, academic environment, work, interpersonal relationships, etc.

Of course, although there are only one mother, sometimes they can generate discomfort in their children and become toxic mothers, whose actions prevent the proper development and emotional well-being of their offspring. The competences that a mother must develop are many, especially considering that the bond that he establishes with his sons and daughters is special , thanks to the body and visual contact that is established between both parties in the first months of life.

  • Related article: "The look of a mother and the maternal function:" I am looked at, therefore I exist ""

Recommendations to be a good mother

If you want to know how to be a good mother , below you can find a list of tips that will help you avoid breeding mistakes.

1. Set limits

It is clear that we all want the best for our children and, besides, we like to see them happy and smiling; However, this does not mean that they should always get away with it. Mark limits and set standards can be positive for your little ones and for their future well-being.

Of course, the rules must be coherent, clear and simple, must be the same for everyone and adapted to the maturational age of your son or daughter. At the end of the day we are social beings, so learning to put limits on the impulses of the little ones is good to adapt better to the society in which we live.

2. You are your learning model

The family is one of the main socializing agents, so it is necessary that you educate your child well. Humans have different ways of learning, and one of them is through modeling , a concept introduced by Albert Bandura. Although sometimes you do not believe it, what you do and how you behave in front of you matters, because your son is continually watching you.

3. Listen actively

Many times we think we are listening when we are really listening. To really listen it is necessary to practice active listening . This means that you should not only pay attention to your children trying to understand what they say, but also what they feel. In other words, you must address both the emotional component (feelings, emotions, sensations, etc.) and the rational component (ideas, beliefs, knowledge, etc.).

If you want to know more about how to do it, this article will be useful for you: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others".

4. Validate your emotions

Listening to your child actively is important, but it is also important to validate your emotions. Emotional validation is a process of learning, understanding and expression of the acceptance of another person's emotional experience. That is, if you suspect that your child has difficulties, active listening can allow you to understand not only your verbal language, but also the non-verbal one (gestures, gaze, posture, etc.) when your heart opens.

The emotional validation will make you demonstrate that you understand (even if you do not always agree) and, therefore, you will feel more comfortable when it comes to saying how you feel. We can all feel pleasant emotions and painful emotions, and your son or daughter is no exception.

5. Let it be expressed

Emotional validation and acceptance of emotions are key to the future well-being of your child. This allows your child to learn to express their emotions and feelings instead of minimizing or rejecting them. Emotions do not disappear if we repress them , but on the contrary, you can get to express yourself without control. The correct emotional control is good for both the welfare of your child and their interpersonal relationships.

6. Encourages communication

The above points are closely related to efficient communication, which helps your child to count on you for what he needs, and increase the emotional bond between you . That is why it is important that you communicate daily with your child and in an open manner. This will allow you to know him and he will understand that he can trust you when you need him, even with regard to his worries and fears.

7. Adapt to your child

Sometimes, it may happen that we are not aware of the age of our son, because he can behave badly and get us crazy at some point. As an adult, you should be aware that your child's level of reasoning follows a developmental process, so you need to adapt to their needs.

Now, it is not a matter of treating him like a mature person when he is not yet. For example, at three years you may have a need to say "no" to everything, because it is your way of gaining independence. Do not be surprised by certain attitudes of your little one , it is not positive that you lose your calm. Keep in mind that the important thing is to educate you correctly, not get angry in an uncontrolled way.

  • You may be interested: "The theory of moral development of Lawrence Kohlberg"

8. Be patient

Being a mother can be complicated sometimes , and it may seem that the situation is great for you. Go to work, get home and do housework and then educate your child ... occupy many hours of your day. But keep calm and try to be patient. Do not pay it with your children, and if at any time it does not behave as you think it should, explain the reasons why you should not repeat your behavior. Similarly, if you have a partner, negotiate a better distribution of tasks, which brings us to the next point.

9. The responsibilities are also of the father

It is positive that both parents share the responsibilities of the child. Whenever possible, you must find the balance to avoid that you carry with all the responsibility to educate your son. You will feel less stressed and it will be better for your child if you both get along and share their upbringing.

10. Avoid arguing with your partner in front of your child

It has already been commented how important is the function of parents for the process of socialization of the child and how their behavior can be imitated by it: it is what is known as learning by modeling, vicarious or by imitation. If you argue with your partner in front of him, you will be sending a negative message , which will not be positive neither for its development nor for its learning.

11. Let him develop his autonomy

It can happen that many parents feel insecure when their children are looking to be independent. This happens at any age. Being an overprotective mother is not beneficial at all , because it prevents your child from developing fully and becoming empowered in front of life.

12. Do not let him grow up being a spoiled child

One of the biggest mistakes that mothers can make is think that everything they do in good faith is positive for their child . In the first point we talked about the importance of establishing limits, because raising spoiled children will have negative effects on their well-being. Therefore, you should avoid giving her gifts when she does not touch, reinforce her negative behaviors, give in to her tantrums or act yourself as a spoiled.

If you want to know more about this interesting topic, you can read this article: "The 8 basic tips for not spoiling your child"

13. Avoid being extremely disciplined

It is necessary that you not be excessively disciplined, and under no circumstances hit your son or daughter . Children who are continuously beaten, beaten or slapped are more likely to fight with other children in the future and develop a negative personality.

You can read more about this topic in our article: "The 8 reasons for not using physical punishment towards children"

14. Watch your parental style

As with the types of leadership, there are different types of parental style that are not characteristic of the parents but rather forms of relationship between the father and the child. These parental styles have their benefits and their negative consequences, and we can four differences: democratic, authoritarian, permissive and indifferent . The democratic style is the healthiest, and is based on respect and communication with children.

15. Play to be emotionally smart with him

Children can develop emotional intelligence from a young age, which has a positive impact on their psychological health in the future. Thanks to the game, children learn skills while having fun, something essential for their development in the first years of life. The game is not only beneficial psychomotor level, but also can help them better understand their emotions .

In this video you can know the importance of emotional intelligence for your child:

16. Teach him to solve problems

Parents not only act as models for their children when teaching them new behaviors, but they are a key piece in their growth because they help them develop their superior cognitive capacity and intelligence.

Social interaction, especially of parents, supports the development of children by establishing an influence through the Near Development Zone, a term coined by Lev Vygotsky . This zone is the distance between the level of maturity reached by the child through the natural process of development, and the level of potential development that can reach when it is guided by people who are more capable than him, for example, parents.

It deepens in this concept in this article: "The Sociocultural Theory of Lev Vygotsky"

17. Find time for yourself

During the first years of life, the dedication of a mother to her son or daughter occupies almost 24 hours a day, but being a mother does not mean that life and good times are over.Because It is necessary that you spend time for your wellbeing , what will be positive for the relationship with your little ones. For example, if you enjoyed stepping into the gym, make a hole in your life to continue with this activity.

18. Enjoy your child and the experience

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences that a human being can feel, and nothing can be compared to the love that arises within a family. So enjoy this gift that gives you life but at times things can get complicated. Being a mother is incredible!

MOM | 10 Things I Wish I Knew Before Baby Tips (January 2023).

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