23 questions about love to reflect on your relationships

April 3, 2024

Love is, for most people, something wonderful who hopes to find and live. But it is also a complex phenomenon that can cause a lot of doubts, fears and insecurities both when you are in a relationship and when you are not.

In this article we are going to see different questions about love that a lot of people have often been made.

Related article: "Psychology of love: that's how our brain changes when we find a partner"

Questions about love

Then we proceed to show you some questions that many people have asked about love.

1. What is love?

While most people want to find and experience love, this concept is actually very complex and complicated to define. It is considered love bond or feeling of affection produced between two or more people (although it can also be towards oneself) and in which it appears in different proportions passion, intimacy and commitment (being a balance what authors like Sternberg consider consummate or true love).

2. Is it stable or is it maintained over time?

Some people consider that true love remains unchanging and eternal, without changes throughout the relationship. However, when a relationship is maintained over time most people see how despite the romantic relationship is maintained, the characteristics of it are changing (passion is reduced, confidence and commitment increases, etc.) .

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3. Is there love at first sight or is love built over time?

In this aspect there is a great variety of opinions. It is true that some people have more facility to fall in love than others, and in some cases the characteristics of a specific person can generate in a person a feeling of falling in love. However, do not confuse love with physical attraction and / or passion.

4. What makes us fall in love?

We often wonder what makes us fall in love with someone. This question is very complicated to answer, since it depends to a large extent on the characteristics, beliefs, expectations and needs of the person who falls in love and how the other subject relates to them. Usually the physical aspect is linked to physical attraction, but in general it is considered that it is the personality and the way of acting that induces us to fall in love. There are multiple theories in this regard, such as the one that links it to the pheromones that a person gives off or to the mystery that awakens.

5. Is there a unique way to love?

Sometimes we find that different people describe their love in a way that may seem strange to us and that does not correspond to what we would do. We have to bear in mind that each one has a concept of love, affective needs and a personality that can generate different perspectives on what it means to love.

There is no one way to love that it is correct, but that all are valid, as long as the rights and freedoms of the people involved are respected and no type of abuse or dependence occurs.

6. Is love just romantic love?

When you talk about love you usually think of romantic and couple love, but the truth is that the ability to love is not limited to this area. Family, friends, humanity, the world or life, our own dreams, our vocation, the results of our efforts, ideas or concepts or oneself as a person can and should be the object of love.

7. Is there a relationship between romantic love and sex or are they completely separate?

The linking of romantic love and sex is a subject that has been discussed since antiquity and created numerous conflicts and debate. The truth is that both aspects may be associated or dissociated according to the beliefs and values of each person, and this association may change over time or depending on the type of sensations that the subject in question arouses.

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8. Is love addictive?

Love has the potential to be addictive, provoking falling in love with the release of dopamine and other substances that generate feelings of reward and pleasure.

9. Is falling in love is seeing the other person as perfect?

While there is a tendency to idolize to a greater or lesser extent the beloved , love does not imply being blind to the defects and problems of the person in question or their relationship with us. Idealize that person will only keep expectations that may not reach and cause undeserved discussions and disappointments.

10Why do we sometimes fall in love with someone we can not have?

Some people fall in love with someone with whom in principle they can not have anything (for example because they have a different sexual orientation or because it simply does not correspond to us). Why?

The answer to that question is complex. In the first place, we must bear in mind that falling in love is not a voluntary thing: we do not choose how, when or with whom we do it. In this way some people may have characteristics that awaken certain sensations but, in turn, these people are not attracted to ours. The impediment in turn can be seen as a stimulant and cause us to secrete hormones that activate us and produce a certain level of reward.

Also, in some cases you may find that falling in love with people that can not be accessed can be a way to avoid intimacy.

11. How do we know if someone is in love with us?

There are a lot of signs and indicators that can serve as an indicator that someone feels attraction or a romantic relationship with us. Examples of this can be found in pupillary dilation and eye contact, the position of the body and its orientation towards us, the logorrhea or, on the contrary, almost silence in our presence, physical contact, the focus of attention on the person or either the deliberate attempt to ignore it or changes in the modulation of voice or conduct before our presence or at the time of addressing us. However, these are possible indicators, not unequivocal signs.

12. Be happy and eat partridges? Is love easy?

Some people have a somewhat idealized view of love, considering that when we are in love and this is corresponded everything will always go well easily. And this is not the case: love has its honeys, but it also involves responsibilities, the need for negotiation and conflict management, the assessment of the needs of oneself and of the couple and commitment.

13. Is love suffering?

Unlike in the previous case, other people consider that although love is wonderful, in practice it generates a lot of suffering. Although love also involves things and responsibilities, in reality the reasons for which they usually suffer are not due to love itself: you suffer from insecurity in the face of what the other will think or do, possible problems or conflicts in the relationship or the influence of external elements in it, or even the possibility of not really loving or losing the loved one.

Love questions

Here we present a series of love questions that the components of a couple can do to each other or that the same person can do to themselves with respect to the couple's relationship.

13. What attracted / attracted you to me?

This question can help the person who makes it understand what aspects the other person values about her , in addition to what makes the person consulted think about what they value about their partner.

Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"

14. What is us?

This question, although it seems badly formulated, is alluding to the meaning that is given to the fact of being together.

15. What is love for you? What value do you give in your life?

This question allows us to know what love supposes for the person who is asked, being able to see what expectations and beliefs are held about it and the assessment and priority given to it.

16. Is there something you would like to live with me?

This question can be used to know if the other person has some kind of desire that wants to comply with us . If you do yourself with respect to the couple can also serve to consider what we would like to live with that person.

17. If I were to die tomorrow, what would be the last thing you would say to me?

In this case it is intended to observe what the other person believes he would do in an extreme situation.

18. What do you like least about me? / What do I like the least about you?

Although this question can be uncomfortable, it can be useful to understand what aspects of ours or of the other are not so well evaluated and why. It can also explain some small conflicts or elements that could provoke them between the members of the couple.

19. How do you feel when we are together?

It is not very common to talk about how we feel when we are together with the loved one. Knowing what sensations we wake up allows us to know what sensations are awake while increasing our self-esteem and motivation.

20. Where would you like to be with me?

Imagine ourselves in an idyllic location or living certain things can generate different sensations and make us see both the personality of the other and what we would expect to live with us. In addition, it can be used to see dreams or even to design plans.

21. What do you think you could do to make me angry? And to cheer me up?

This question can be used to see how much we know each other . Depending on the context, it can provoke a curious and quite entertaining conversation.