23 things that you have to give up to live happily
Being happy is one of the main objectives We have human beings, that is why many studies have been conducted to find out what makes people happy. Well, science is clear: there are activities, thoughts, behaviors, attitudes that determine how we feel.
Many times, without realizing it, we can not be happy because we make mistakes or perform toxic habits that affect us negatively. Happiness consists, in part, in giving up .
- Related article: "Toxic habits: 10 behaviors that consume your energy"
Things we must give up to live happily
In the following lines you can find a list of thoughts and behaviors that we must correct to enjoy greater well-being and be happier.
1. Renunciation of perfectionism
Perfectionism may seem positive because we can associate it with the idea of wanting to do things in the best possible way. But Perfectionist beliefs cause great discomfort in people , since they cause us to have too high expectations, often unattainable. Extreme perfectionism and happiness are not compatible, because this way of thinking produces anxiety, depression, low self-esteem ...
You can know more about this phenomenon in this article: "Perfectionist personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism".
2 Resignation of hate, anger and revenge
It is normal to feel hatred and anger at some point in our life, for example, when the couple leaves us. But this feeling, which can be part of the phases of breakup of a couple, can not control our life. There is nothing positive about feeling hate towards others and wishing revenge, rather it can complicate things and make us feel even worse. Do not let hatred and anger control you.
3. Relinquish others decide for you
Human beings are social beings, and many times we want to make a good impression on others. But you can not let these thoughts dominate you, since they will make you tremendously unhappy. Happiness is achieved by knowing oneself and fighting for what one likes.
4. Resignation to always possess the absolute truth
Although sometimes it is difficult to recognize, we are not always right. If we want to be happy we must be tolerant with others and respect their opinions and freedoms, which allows us to create a climate of tolerance that is necessary for everyone to be able to express themselves without becoming frustrated. We must also do self-criticism , in the sense of recognizing our own mistakes when we have them.
5. Resignation to the past
To be happy, it is necessary to connect with oneself in the present moment. We can not live in the past anymore, so it does not make much sense to live anchored in previous moments of our lives if it is not to learn from them. Being in the here and now with all the senses is crucial .
6. Resignation to be very hard on yourself
It is also normal for many people to be very hard with themselves, to blame themselves for everything and, in the face of failures, to recreate what could have gone wrong. It is possible to learn from mistakes, and things will not always be good for us. Be certain that there are ways to get up after a fall It is what will help us to be happy.
7. Renunciation of negative thinking
And is that when we do not accept that sometimes we can fail, negative thoughts invade our mind. We value ourselves negatively and our self-esteem and self-confidence falter. This causes us to paralyze ourselves instead of being in motion .
8. Waiver of the complaint
Complaining about custom does not solve anything. If we do not like something about ourselves or a situation, we have to do our part to address the problem. The simple complaint does not stop being a way of not facing reality and, therefore, makes us unhappy.
9. Give up your need for control
People who are obsessed with controlling all the events of their life they suffer what is known as generalized anxiety, and that is that you can not be happy if you want everything to go perfect. Imperfection is important in our life and, therefore, it is necessary to let go of the excess of control.
10. Relinquishment to fear uncertainty
Excessive control can lead us to fear uncertainty, not being comfortable in those situations in which we are far from our conforming zone t. If we want to grow as people and be happy, we need to take a step forward and not be afraid of uncertainty.
- Related article: "How to get out of your comfort zone? 7 keys to achieve it"
11. Relinquishment to avoid facing problems
Resistance to dealing with problems is one of the characteristics of a weak personality, because it is easier to blame the environment or others than to assume that perhaps something we did could have made our situation worse. Coping with problems is the key to happiness and to get going to solve them.
12. Give up thinking about what others think of you
Spending the day thinking about what others will think of you can be very exhausting, so you have to avoid being continually thinking about giving a great impeccable image facing the others. For example, uploading photos of your vacation to get the admiration of other people.
- This behavior can be negative for many reasons. You can check it in this article: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you".
13. Relinquish the barriers that you impose when changing
Resistance to change is a phenomenon that people can experience and that also is very related to the comfort zone and the anxiety that produces the uncertainty . Likewise, low self-confidence is also related to resistance to change. That is why you can follow a series of steps to improve the confidence you have in yourself and empower yourself against the transformation of your life.
- Related article: "How to increase confidence in yourself in 6 steps".
14. Relinquishment to blame others
Excusing yourself by blaming others is a waste of time, because it does not allow you to advance . When you blame others for your failures you do not take responsibility and do not direct your life in the direction you want. To be happy you must take the reins of your life, and this means having the ability to be responsible.
15. Waiver of self-blame
That you do not blame others does not mean that you should blame yourself and crush your self-esteem. You must Be aware that there are good and bad moments in life , that will allow you to adopt a positive attitude towards change.
16. Resignation of emotional attachment
Emotions have an adaptive function in our life, and that is why they are and have been useful for the development of our species. But not knowing how to properly manage these emotions can negatively influence our well-being. That is why it is necessary to know how to identify and regulate them , so that we can live in harmony with ourselves and with others.
Emotional attachment in and of itself is not bad , but individuals not only get attached to other people, but we also do it with objects and, worse, with our own narratives, which receives the name "conceptual I". Knowing how to detach from emotions is possible if we have the ability to observe, live in the present, adopt a non-judgmental mentality and treat ourselves with compassion.
- Related article: "5 laws of detachment to be free emotionally".
17. Resignation of fear
Fear is a very adaptive emotion, but when it's irrational it can be disabling and cause tremendous discomfort. Overcoming fears is necessary to be happy.
18. Resignation of procrastination
Procrastination is the complete opposite of the phrase "do not leave for tomorrow what you can do today". It's an excuse and, therefore, makes you an unproductive person . This can cause problems for your well-being. For example, feeling stressed because you have accumulated tasks by not doing them in due time.
19. Resignation of prejudices
Prejudice can turn you into a miserable person, especially in those cases where you are sexist, racist, etc. According to a study conducted by researchers at the Federal Polytechnic School of Zurich (ETH), people with prejudices are at a social disadvantage , they do not learn anything new and often lose opportunities.
21. Resignation to judge others
Some individuals spend a lot of time worrying about what is happening in other people's lives. This behavior is harmful and a waste of time. Better to occupy time in ourselves and in our happiness, as well as in developing ourselves as people.
22. Relinquishment of irrational expectations
If living in the past is bad, so is living in the future. In addition, if we have irrational expectations, the consequences for our emotional health can be devastating. Now, having goals in life is motivating as long as they are realistic.
23. Relinquishment of social impositions
Social impositions (not laws) can cause a lot of suffering to people. The canon of beauty, marrying almost by obligation, not being able to have liberal relations ... are some beliefs that predominate in society and that are classified as "good". The behaviors associated with these beliefs are socially accepted. But social impositions do not let us be ourselves and can affect our well-being. As long as you do not do anything to anyone, reflect on these beliefs and act on the basis of your true desires.
