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4 principles that the Toltecs taught us about relationships

4 principles that the Toltecs taught us about relationships

May 6, 2021

The Toltecs were an ancient civilization that managed to dominate much of Mexico .

Much has been said about their contributions to the history of the development of humanity, and although these people have disappeared, they can still be found in their past and their way of seeing life elements that can inspire us to manage our relationships with more success. For something they were considered "women and men of knowledge".

Related article: "40 wise phrases to reflect on life"

The Toltecs and popular wisdom

Based on the doctrine of this ancient culture, the Mexican Miguel Ruiz He wrote the book The 4 Agreements of Toltec Wisdom.


These principles refer to i relatively simple but not so easy to implement ; However, once we have mastered them, our life will be freer of communication problems with the people around us.

4 Toltec principles to relate better

If you are wanting to know what are these four Toltec principles to improve our interpersonal relationships , here I offer you a quick summary. If you want to investigate more about this civilization, you may get more of a surprise for the wisdom that emanated from their culture.

1. "Be impeccable with your words"

This principle consists of keep in mind at all times that once we have spoken what has come out of our mouth can not be erased anymore , and it has already had some effects on our listeners.


It is about the aspect of language that some philosophers call the perlocutionary act of speech. This does not mean that we should speak less, but that we should reflect on the good or bad impact of what we say, and not only if what we say is true or not. It's about not talking impulsively.

2. "Do not take anything personally"

It is very common that due to the actions of other people, we get in a bad mood; that's partly because we depend a lot on the opinion of others and we rarely stop to think that maybe the other person is projecting their problems and insecurities in us.

Thus, it is worthwhile that when someone is making us feel bad, let's stop for a moment to think the saying: "what Juan says about Pedro says more about Juan than about Pedro".

3. "Do not make assumptions"

Answer this question: the times you have imagined or fantasized that the things that others speak have to do with you, are they negative or positive things? If you answered that they are positive, bravo, you are one of the few people who thinks so; but if you answered that they are negative, do not be scared, there is an explanation.


There is a theory according to which the human being tends to give greater importance and credibility to bad news due to the survival instinct. Now, if we assume that others have a negative idea of ​​us, how much damage can we not do to another person? How much negativity will go through our head while we are thinking such a thing? Gossip is something that damages our social relationships and can be prevented in a relatively simple way: asking things and leaving doubts.

4. "Always give your best"

This idea is summarized as follows: the day in which you give the maximum effort, in the best way you can and as you believe, is when you will accept the consequences of your actions in the best way .

It is important to note that it is good to look for a balance in what we do. Give what we can give, do what we can do, but without committing ourselves to offer more than what we can give, since that will only serve to produce stress and frustration. This Toltec principle deals with the importance of accepting and knowing our limits, because knowing them will also make it easier for us to know if we are doing less or more than we could do.

For reflection

We must remember that these are 4 principles or "agreements" inspired by an old civilization whose living conditions are very different from ours.

Therefore, it is our task to know how to interpret them well if we want to give them usefulness. However, and despite the practice and effort required to know how to apply them, it is easy to find in them a profound lesson about social relationships and on how to find a balance between oneself and the social environment.


Don Miguel Ruiz, Author of The Four Agreements, Discusses Life, Death & the Afterlife (May 2021).


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