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4 very frequent self-esteem problems, and how to manage them

4 very frequent self-esteem problems, and how to manage them

March 28, 2024

The problems of self-esteem are at the root of many of the psychological problems what people experience No need to go hand in hand with mental disorders, this kind of pessimistic self-assessments make it more likely that you will lead an unsatisfying life, focused on unambitious goals.

In this article we will review several of the most common self-esteem problems , as well as possible strategies to manage them and make them go away.

  • Related article "Low self-esteem? When you become your worst enemy"

The importance of self-image

Personal relationships may be complicated, but in many cases even those relationships that we establish with ourselves are even more so. With the idea of ​​"I" that each one of us shelters inside.

And is that the problems of self-esteem are one of the most frequent causes of psychological distress. This kind of uncomfortable, anxious situations or source of real emotional pain start from a set of beliefs that in psychology is called self-concept, or self-image , and that contains all those ideas about oneself, the adjectives that define the "I".

Self-concept is not something that we contemplate coldly, as a scientist would look through a microscope at a sample, but always carries with it an emotional charge. This aspect of self-concept that has to do with how we feel about the idea we have about our identity is called self-esteem.

Thus, self-esteem problems are those situations that appear when the way in which we value self-concept is very pessimistic , and it makes us feel anxiety, disgust or other sensations and feelings every time we remember who we are.

  • Maybe you're interested: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"

The problems of self-esteem, and possible solutions

To know how to deal with this kind of discomfort, it is good to know the main types of self-esteem problems. Let's see what they are.

1. The complexes due to lack of talent

It is very possible that a good part of the self-esteem problems appear before the belief that one does not have the talent to do something important for oneself. From this perspective, there is something that escapes the control itself and that prevents or hinders a lot of progress in a specific field of knowledge or training.

In this type of self-esteem problems, not only sadness appears for not reaching the goals that one sets , but also feels that time is wasted in something that will never give the expected results.

However, we must bear in mind that talent is simply the fruit of hard work for a long time, and that the fact of not progressing in something is usually indicative that, simply, that task does not motivate enough. Now, for this idea to take effect improving the level of self-esteem is necessary to go through a cognitive restructuring, as we will see.

2. The constant comparison

Who is obsessed by comparing all the time with others, ends up finding a thousand examples of people who, in general terms, seem to be superior to oneself in every way.

The good news is that the information we have about others is always insufficient and too biased to issue judgmental opinions based on them. The bad news is that whoever gives this kind of questions enough importance will probably be unable to take this reasoning into account, and simply will recurrently think of how bad you are compared to others .

3. Feelings of guilt

Blaming oneself for mistakes made in the past, whether for doing something or for not doing it, is a common source of self-esteem problems. Life gives us many opportunities to fail, and sometimes the feeling of guilt remains entrenched.

Even though this feeling apparently speaks to us of the recognition of something that should not have happened, it does not always translate into the will of avoid falling into the same kind of mistakes . But, when you try to compensate the situation, this is a way in itself to solve the problem of self-esteem, if self-concept is managed in the appropriate way.

4. Believe the disparagement of others

The cruelty of other people can infiltrate the way we think about ourselves. Therefore, many victims of abuse or bullying believe they deserve what happens to them, for example.

The point is that when there are frequent signs that someone despises us, we tend to believe that there really are valid reasons to be despised . If we add to this that often mistreatment does not occur in isolation, but that a whole group or social circle participates in it, the signs that we should hate ourselves multiply.

How to end the discomfort?

The most serious and obvious cases of self-esteem problems should be treated by psychologists, since they have the resources to do something very necessary in these cases: help us change the way we think about ourselves, and make us adopt habits consistent with a normal level of self-esteem These two action pathways, typical of cognitive-behavioral therapy, allow us to return to normal in a matter of weeks or a few months.

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