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40 questions that indicate if you suffer psychological abuse as a couple

40 questions that indicate if you suffer psychological abuse as a couple

May 23, 2022

Unfortunately, relationships are not always healthy, and abuse is a phenomenon that occurs in some toxic relationships. In the article "Profile of the psychological abuser: 21 common traits" we are already looking into the psychological profile of an individual who is abusive. But… How can we know that we are victims of psychological abuse?

  • Maybe you're interested: "We raffled 5 copies of the book" Psychologically Speaking "!"

Questions to know if you suffer psychological abuse of a couple

Below you can find a list of questions that can help you know if you are a victim of this type of psychological abuse . In addition, they will allow you to reflect on the bases of your relationship and maybe they will help you to realize that something is not working correctly.


1. Does it tell you how you have to dress? If you go in some way that you do not like, you get mad at yourself for it and decide to change your clothes? Are there garments that you no longer wear because you know that you do not like that you are going like this and you are going to have problems because of it?

Abusers are controlling and authoritarian. Their insecurity makes them feel jealous in a toxic way.

2. When you do something for your partner, do you appreciate it or do you feel it is your obligation?

In the psychological abuse frequently appears the manipulation, as you can check in the article "6 strategies of manipulation that the abusers use".

3. Do you make important decisions without taking your opinion into account?

The manipulators are authoritarian people , who think that they are always right in everything.


4. Do you control the money you spend? Do you have to ask your partner for money? Do you ask for permission when buying something, either for yourself or for the house?

In addition to controlling clothing, he also controls spending and finances.

5. Do you have to inform them of your schedules?

The person who is manipulative directs the life of his partner. It does not let you be free.

6. Does it diminish your personal or professional achievements?

He is not able to tell you how much you are worth, because it interests you that you feel insecure or insecure and with low self-esteem .

  • Related article: "Low self-esteem? When you become your worst enemy"

7. Do you organize your free time? Do you feel that in leisure time you have to consult him in what to invest your time?

Control the way you dress, the expenses and also your time.

8. When you have a problem, do you minimize it with comments of the type: that's nothing, you complain about vice, etc.?

The abuser does not feel love towards you, although sometimes he disguises himself so that you remain hooked to his mistreatment.


9. Does it make you doubt your abilities?

If you are insecure, it is easier for you to fall into their networks.

10. Count how many times you do things that you do not want or that you do not agree with to avoid an argument

It is common for an abuser to throw things on your face to justify his attitude.

  • Maybe you're interested: "Gaslighting: the most subtle emotional abuse"

11. Does it make you feel that you would not know how to move forward if you were not there?

If you do not see yourself able to leave suffering behind, you will not and you will continue to be mistreated.

12. Does your partner tell you that he will stop hitting you when you start behaving correctly?

Often, even though you are not at fault, I unjustifiably accuse you of your attitude.

13. Do you get angry if you invest more time in your friends or relatives than you consider necessary?

One of the ways to isolate yourself is making you feel bad by having contact with your family and friends .

14. If you are in public, are you afraid to say what you think in case it brings consequences with your partner?

The abuser tries to make you feel guilty even to act well.

15. Have you stopped telling your relationship problems to your environment because you know that if he found out he would get angry?

In the end, the relationship becomes toxic. Trust is completely lost.

16. Does your partner control what you have been doing and do not believe your answers?

The lack of trust, in addition, becomes distrust.

17. Do you control your mobile and your social networks?

Social networks are part of our day to day. That is why the abuser seeks to control them at all costs.

18. Do you feel uncomfortable if someone of the opposite sex looks at you in case your partner realizes it and could be the reason for another discussion?

The sickly jealousy are part of the daily life of a toxic relationship .

19. Does your partner criticize or embarrass you in front of other people?

He does not respect you, and he does not care to be disrespectful in front of others.

20. Is your partner jealous, with behaviors like accusing you of having adventures?

Mistrust is very great in this type of relationship, and accusations of unfaithful infidelity can also be.

21. Do you use emotional blackmail often to achieve your goals?

Emotional blackmail is a weapon widely used by abusers. You can check it in the article "Emotional blackmail: a powerful form of manipulation in the couple".

22. Does he treat you as if he were your father / mother instead of your partner?

Your relationship is not a love relationship based on respect.

23. Do you feel compelled or pushed to have sex with your partner?

It is such the domain that exercises over you , that you feel obliged to please him.

24. Do you feel that you can not be yourself when you are with your partner?

You fear his reaction and that's why your behavior changes.

25. Are you afraid to express an opinion different from that of your partner?

Manipulators are authoritarian and, therefore, their opinion is the only one that counts.

26. Do you feel that even without it, when you want to be yourself, do you think that it may bother you and stop doing the things you wanted?

His influence on you is so great, that even without being present, you fear him.

27. Do you remember the mistakes you have made a thousand times?

It behaves like this to make you feel inferior and that your self-esteem suffers.

28. Do you feel guilty when you get sick?

Even when you are sick, you can not be yourself.

29. Have you stopped seeing your family or friends because of your partner's behavior?

He has tried to separate you from your family, and he has succeeded.

30. Do you watch what you do for fear that your partner gets angry or feels bad?

The fear of your partner is such that you behave just as he wants.

31. The way in which it is addressed to you has changed becoming imperative?

At first, the abuser may seem like a good person, but over time, he brings out his true personality. To learn more about the subtle aspects of personality you can learn more in some of the works of this selection of books: "The 31 best books of Psychology that you can not miss".

32. Do you feel fear?

If you feel fear of your partner, then you must react. Seek help from nearby people and professionals.

33. When there has been a discussion, in the majority of the occasions you give yourself still being right because you could spend days without speaking to yourself and making yourself empty?

Master your behavior completely , and you are no longer capable of being assertive.

34. Do you blame your friends for initiating your arguments and keeping them away from them?

In an attempt to get away from your friends, blame them for your arguments.

35. Do you feel anxiety or nervousness when you are close to your partner?

Fear and anxiety manifest when you have to be close to your partner.

36. Do you go to places and do activities that you do not want so you do not get angry?

You stop being yourself because you fear him.

37. Are you afraid of telling him some things because you know that his reaction can be disproportionate?

Not only do you go to places you do not want, but also, you do not say what you think for fear of their reaction.

38. Do you feel that you need your approval in everything you do, or even think?

You are not a free person, because you depend on him in every way. You can not even think freely.

39. If you have a problem outside the couple's domain, do you feel responsible for it?

It makes you feel guilty even in situations that have nothing to do with your relationship.

40. Do you notice that when the same fact is done by another person, it is valued more positively than if it is you who do it?

It treats you differently from others, and it can be very different with other people.


10 Gaslighting Signs in an Abusive Relationship (May 2022).


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