5 keys to face and overcome the injustices of life
Many of the complaints we address psychologists with people who come to consultation are referred to "how unfair it is that my partner has left me", the injustice of seeing how "the job has been for someone else and not for me ", Or to think that" there is no right that so-and-so behaves in that way with me ".
Injustices: a painful reality that we must live with
They abound in our daily life this type of reflections that lead us to assess what happens to us in terms of justice , as if the personal fulfillment and the happiness of each one of us could be measured in our perception of the just and unjust acts that happen to us. And is that some of the most renowned authors in the world of Psychology (Albert Ellis, Wayne Dyer) explained to us a few years ago how the so-called "trap of justice" and we were ahead that works as a cognitive distortion or In other words, as an error of thought.
The call Fallacy of justice consists in the tendency to value as unfair everything that does not coincide with personal desires . Through this type of thinking we consider that everything that does not coincide with our way of seeing things is unfair.
Reformulating our perception of injustices
And in that assessment of injustice established many are immobilized, gripped by frustration and resorting to the internal dialogue of complaint and laziness in which when you settle only get sadness, depression ...
At this point, it does not make much sense to change our way of seeing things, if I start from the basis that "it is not fair that this square is not mine with what I have studied" and we repeat it in each failed call to approve my examination of oppositions, are we favoring a solution to our problem ?, Are we generating a constructive dialogue with ourselves and aimed at improving in the aspects that are necessary to pass that exam? Do not! We're just complaining! And that complaint can fulfill its therapeutic function in the short term as a relief, but when we normalize it and establish it, there is the problem …
5 strategies to face injustices
Studying a lot exam or behave well with others can not be the passport to perceive unfair not get a place of opposition or a bad reaction from a friend. These are realities that simply happen and that we can not have 100% under control .
What alternatives could we consider?
1. Differentiate what I want vs. what is unfair
Wanting something with all our strength does not make it possible for you to have it. This reality would have certain implications in our internal dialogue, It would therefore be advisable to change the "it is an injustice" to "it is a pity" or by an "I would prefer it".
2. Things can happen differently as we would like
Work with our goals not achieved as an excuse to improve and not to use them against us. If wanting something leads you to fight and work towards that goal, complaining about the injustice of not getting it and tormenting you about it takes you away from your goal .
3. Others have the right to present different opinions to mine
Why do we embark so many times in trying to change the opinions of others? It would be good if we freed ourselves from the yoke of single thought and that we promote that each one thinks what he wants on any matter. Self-centeredness is not going to help us.
4. Choose to act not by observing and analyzing
When we stop in the analysis of what happens and we do not get out of there we are blocking ourselves. Betting on the action will lead us to choose what we want , if you need your partner to change something, ask them! If you want that position of oppositions, study and keep trying!
5. Stop looking for equity in our relationships with others
If I choose to behave well with someone and be generous I can not frustrate myself repeatedly when others do not act as I would like , when we look for that equitable distribution of "I give you" and "you must give me" we are losing the way. If I choose to be generous I have to keep in mind that it is a personal choice, and that it is my responsibility to decide to change my attitude with that person or to remain as I am.
Reflections and possible conclusions
Above all the above, It would be advisable to stress that in order to get out of the bondage of perceived injustice, we can only do so if we recover the protagonism of our lives and we stop comparing ourselves all the time with others.
Taking into account the reality that surrounds us in which even the judges themselves have a unique and objective view of what is fair and unjust Why bother to waste time giving justice around us?