5 laws of detachment to be free emotionally

Human beings are emotional beings and emotions give meaning to our life . In fact, emotions have an adaptive function that has been useful for survival.

However, not knowing how to manage them correctly can negatively influence our well-being, that is why it is important to know how to identify and regulate them, so that we can live in harmony with ourselves and with others.

• Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"

Emotional liberation: what is it

Emotions influence our thinking, our behavior and even our mental health, and that is why psychology has been interested in its study for decades. Nowadays, it is common to speak emotional validation, emotional balance or emotional release.

This last term has to do with letting go of those negative emotions, connecting with ourselves and empowering ourselves in front of life. It is what, in Freudian Psychoanalysis, was known as catharsis.

• You can learn more about catharsis in our article: "Catharsis: the emotional liberation process"

What is the concept of attachment

Another concept that has interested many psychologists is attachment, that is, the affective bond we form with other people throughout our lives, first with our parents and then with friends, our partner and our children. There are different types of attachment, some healthy and others toxic.

• Attachment theory became famous thanks to John Bowlby , if you want to go deeper into this topic, you can read our post: "The Theory of Attachment and the bond between parents and children"

Detachment and the "conceptual I"

Attachment by itself is not bad . The ties with our relatives allow us to grow and develop. But people have the incredible ability not only to stick to people (some of them do not favor us), but we also do it with objects and, worse, with our own narrations, what is known as "conceptual self", which It is a direct consequence of how we use language.

"I am like this, this has to be this way, etc" are some examples of how what we say to ourselves has a value component and, therefore, emotional. Attachment to our beliefs, our thoughts, our memories and, in short, our private events can cause us intense pain if we are not aware of it. Especially when these memories are constantly appearing in our head without control.

The laws of detachment

But what can we do to avoid this? How can we be aware and detached from these toxic emotions? Below you can find 5 laws of detachment that will help you to free yourself emotionally:

1. Work your "I observer"

It often happens that we get into a vicious circle in which we say negative things to ourselves because we think our beliefs are correct. Actually, many of our beliefs or values ​​have their origin in our culture .

For example, you have to be handsome, rich or get married to be happy. These thoughts, in reality, make us really unhappy people. In fact, do you think that everyone who has money or is handsome is happy? You just have to look around to verify that these types of statements are false.

Because, it is important to work self-observation and to get rid of the conceptualized self . In other words, the attachment to our own narrations and our own thoughts. To see it from another perspective, without judging ourselves, and to realize that our thoughts and cognitions are pieces of language, words, images, etc., is the first step to achieve emotional liberation.

2. Live the present

It is useless to be thinking about the future to achieve emotional liberation. The observing self can make us aware of what is happening around us, but we must be present in body and soul in the here and now.

To detach from these emotions that can be toxic, we must connect with our present experience, our thoughts, our sensations ...

3. Adopt a non-judgmental mentality

The present brings us to a place that, at times, we will want to avoid . But we will want to avoid it if we value ourselves negatively. To avoid this, it is necessary to adopt a non-judgmental mentality.

For example, I can think that feeling anxiety is bad, when in reality it is something normal, it is something that all people can feel. The non-judgmental mentality does not make value judgments, does not criticize, simply observes and lets go.

4. Accept yourself

Therefore, the key is acceptance, accept us as we are and accept what happens around us . Accept that what we often say to ourselves, which is not always positive, is part of life, it is normal.

Accept that we will not always have good and memorable moments. We have to learn to treat ourselves with affection and compassion, which is not always easy.

5 . Do Mindfulness

Mindfulness, also called mindfulness, brings all the above points together. This practice, which is rather a philosophy of life, helps to become aware, self-observe, treat us with affection, adopt a mindset free of prejudice and makes us be in the present moment .

Definitely. Mindfulness gives us a method that enables us to learn to manage emotions, impulses, attitudes and thoughts in order to face the situations that life presents us with. Thanks to the perfecting of full consciousness, it is possible to benefit in many ways.

• You can delve into the multiple positive consequences of the practice of Mindfulness in our post: "Mindfulness: 8 benefits of mindfulness".

Guided Meditation for Detachment from Wants & Desires (Mindfulness for Over-thinking) (March 2024).