5 ways to express more affection to the person you love
If something has become clear after decades of scientific research in the field of Psychology, it is that One thing is to think something and another totally different thing is to do it . Although we trust completely in the truth of an affirmation, for example, we can behave in a completely incongruous way with it, as if we did not believe it to be true.
An example would be the habit of smoking: we know that the drawbacks of consuming tobacco far outweigh the benefits, and yet we continue to smoke. The same happens even if there is no chemical addiction in between: we know that we should go to the gym, but we are hardly going even if we pay for it month after month.
Our love lives are often filled with the same kind of inconsistencies. Sometimes we know that we love the other person, and yet we almost never let them know or, when we try, we fail. We simply do not know where to begin to improve the health of the relationship through those kinds of expressions of love. Learn to express more affection for the person we love It can be a challenge
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Why does it cost us to show love?
In many ways, what we do in a couple's relationship basically depends on learned habits, just as it happens in other areas of our lives. Romantic relationships or relationships in which there is simply love (for example, maternal-filial) are not hermetic spaces totally separated from the rest of our experiences, and that means that we come to them with certain beliefs and expectations about what it means to have a partner.
Sometimes, when we begin to emotionally bond with someone in an intimate way and loving, we already do it knowing that these relationships are fundamentally between two human beings, with a wide range of emotional states and emotional needs that may not always seem evident during the first hours of conversation.
However, on other occasions we arrive at the world of couple relationships without knowing how to recognize signs of affective needs or how to respond to them. In these cases, expectations about what a courtship or marriage is they include a range of emotions and feelings very limited, without variety . In theory we know that our partner is a human being, but on the ground it is difficult for us to act with simplicity before their most intimate expressions. What to do in these cases? Let's see it
- Related article: "10 amazing psychological facts about feelings and emotions"
How to learn to express more affection to those we love
To get to really connect emotionally with someone, you need to get used to embracing all facets of what it means to be in an affective relationship. Let's see what are the main keys to achieve it.
1. Observe your concerns
A good way to get to establish an intimate connection with someone begins by knowing what aspects of their day to day awaken more emotional reactions. It can be a hobby, a place, a memory ... From this information it is possible to start stimulating conversations in which there are conditions to express all kinds of feelings.
2. Avoid preconceived ideas
Spend a few minutes thinking about what beliefs you have about the other person could be based simply on prejudices that do not hold . These unjustified ideas may have to do with the personality of that person, their hobbies, etc.
This exercise serves to avoid the appearance of situations in which the other person feels misunderstood when verifying that the degree of knowledge we have about them is limited, a fact that can hinder an authentic empathic connection.
3. Take your time to understand what you need
Each person has different needs, knowing which ones are possibleTo recognize the time and place in which to express affection can be received in a positive way .
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4. What makes you admire that person more?
Stopping to think about this issue is perfect to communicate the affection or love we feel for someone. It's a way we can sort our feelings and put words to them, so that feeling charge a form understandable by the other person and, therefore, you can appreciate that act of communication as something that not only strengthens your self-esteem, but also says a lot about us.
5. Detect sensitive areas and taboos
No one is perfect, and it is possible that the other person has certain "forbidden" topics or that he does not feel comfortable trying. Ideally, these taboos and self-imposed limits would not exist , but since they are there, we must let the other person decide how and with whom to cross these thresholds. That is why when carrying out intimate communicative acts with someone, we must take into account in an approximate way what is the comfort zone that we must try to respect.
