6 good tips (and habits) to boost your self-esteem
Self-esteem is one of the psychological constructs that has been most addressed since Abraham Maslow included it as a fundamental component in his Hierarchy of Human Needs (1943).
Very many authors have confirmed the existing relationship between self-esteem and emotional well-being , among which include Carl Rogers (psychologist who proposed the theory of personality from the humanist current) Albert Ellis (creator of Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy) or M. Rosenberg (author of one of the self-reports reference on self-esteem, the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale) among others.
- Related article: "16 books on self-esteem and self-improvement"
Enhance self-esteem through psychological habits
Let's see how much of the theoretical knowledge acquired about this area can be applied in a practical and simple way on a day-to-day basis. make our self-esteem grow .
1. Make decisions without postponements
The concerns derived from the problems and vital events tend to be more frequent during the course between the occurrence of the specific situation and the resolution of it. Therefore, it is highly recommended avoid postponing the coping of said event so as to avoid over-feeding the repeated rumination processes.
A good tool can be found in the Problem Solving Model proposed by D'Zurilla and Goldfried (1971), which consists of a five-phase process that reflects on: the elaboration of an adequate general orientation to the problem, the concretion of a definition and formulation of the problem, the proposal to generate alternatives, the decision making itself and a final stage of verification of the chosen solution.
- Maybe you're interested: "Procrastination or the syndrome of" I'll do it tomorrow ": what it is and how to prevent it"
2. Decrease cognitive dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is a concept proposed by social psychologist L. Festinger (1959) to explain the state of tension that an individual experiences when their belief system conflicts with their actual behavior, negatively influencing the modification of the subject's attitudes .
Given this fact, the person tries to generate a new set of cognitions coherent to their behavior in order to decrease the discomfort produced by the discrepancy initial by: an attitudinal change, the addition of consonant information between beliefs and behaviors or the trivialization of the attitudes or behaviors expressed.
In short, this rigorous theory highlights the importance of coherence between the thoughts (the values themselves) and the actions applied in practice; the higher the level of discrepancy, the greater the level of personal psychological distress.
3. Identify and transform your limiting beliefs
Hemmi (2013) in his work develops the concepts limiting beliefs (CL) vs. powerful beliefs (CP) defining them as two types of cognitions that the own person possesses on itself and that are determinant in the level of low and high self-esteem, respectively. In particular, limiting beliefs refer to the set of negative ideas that an individual presents about himself and that reflect a low degree of confidence for the achievement of vital objectives .
On the other hand, powerful beliefs are characterized by endowing the person with a positive and optimistic global belief system about their own qualities, which is why they are facilitators in the company of projects and initiatives that the subject proposes throughout his life .
A good reflection exercise to carry out the transformation of limiting ideas into powerful ideas can be, as Hemmi explains, the realization of a list of all CL in the different areas of life (family of origin, family generated, friendships, professional environment and society) the questioning about its logic or veracity and the substitution by a new group of CP, also applied to the five indicated areas. From all this, the person must internalize them and give them a greater emotional weight.
- Maybe you're interested: "Self-concept: what is it and how is it formed?"
4. Start a gratitude journal
Evolutively, the human being has shown an important tendency to retain in memory more clearly information related to emotions intense as fear or anger, to the detriment of other more neutral data, not so useful in the pursuit of their own survival.
At present, although the context has changed, it seems a common practice in people who have a functioning of low self-esteem, depresogenic or characterized by multiple concerns, the presence of a cognitive-attentional bias that leads them to remember much more significantly the pessimistic, unpleasant or negative aspects of day to day.
A scientifically proven conclusion in recent research conducted at the American University of Kentucky (2012) and other publications in specific journals such as Emotion (2014) Personality and Individual Differences (2012) or Journal of Applied Sport Psychology (2014) confirm the link between the practice of daily gratitude and an increase in the level of self-esteem .
Thus, according to these findings, a strategy to be applied on a day-to-day basis may consist of starting a personal gratitude diary where the signs of gratitude expressed towards oneself and / or addressed to others are recorded.
- Related article: "60 phrases of thanks and gratitude to thank"
5. Eliminate the "always", "never", "everything", "nothing"
Aaron Beck proposed in the seventies a model of its own which exposed, among other fundamentals, the cognitive biases that occur in depressive disorders, the so-called cognitive distortions. These are included in a list of distorted ideas, among which "dichotomous thinking" and "shoulds" stand out.
In the first case, the events that happen they are valued in an extreme way, without nuances , as for example: «My friend has not called me, nobody loves me». In the second, the subject has rigid rules and excessively demanding on how should happen what happens, for example: "I have a remarkable in the examination and should have reached the excellent, I am useless."
Usually, these types of thoughts are not objectively grounded and do not adjust to reality, so it is recommended to question these types of beliefs and emotional work enhancing self-acceptance and decreasing self-demand (which tends to diminish the quality of one's personal image).
Thus, the ultimate goal is to modify and replace this type of ideas with more rational, logical and less catastrophic ones.
6. Do nice activities regularly
At the biochemical level, the substances that are secreted in greater proportion when the individual performs activities that are interesting, motivating and have a rewarding effect are adrenaline, endorphins (hormones both that modulate the mood) and serotonin (neurotransmitter involved in sexual processes, sleep and emotional response).
Therefore, it can be highly recommended to develop a small list of pleasant activities of different nature which can be practiced daily: individual activities (a foam bath), in company (a dinner with friends), enrichment activities according to personal concerns (start a language course), self-care activities (wear a garment of the preferred color) etc.
In most cases, it is not a matter of thinking about occupations of complex realization, but of small actions that act as "a pleasant caprice" and that therefore enhance one's well-being.
Bibliographic references:
- Baron R. and Byrne, D. (1998): Social Psychology. Madrid: Ed. Pearson.
- Hemmi, M (2013) Do you dare to dream? Barcelona: Ed. Paidós.
- Labrador, F. J., Cruzado, J.A. and Muñoz, M. (1998): Manual of modification techniques and behavior therapy. Madrid: Editorial Pyramid.
- Méndez Carrillo, F., Olivares R., J. and Moreno G., P. (1999): Behavior Modification Techniques. 2nd Edition. Madrid: New Library Editorial.
- Quiceno, Japcy Margarita, & Vinaccia, Stefano. (2014). Quality of life in adolescents: analysis from personal strengths and negative emotions. Psychological therapy, 32 (3), 185-200.
- Toepfer, S.M., Cichy, K., & Peters, P. (2012). Letters of gratitude: Further evidence for author benefits. Journal of Happiness Studies, 13 (1), 187-201.
