6 keys to overcome a betrayal
Betrayal is one of those circumstances that we can suffer in silence for a while , and that can hurt the heart of the betrayed person. Whether on the part of the couple, a friend, family members or a co-worker, this situation arouses very intense and painful emotions.
And is that the loss of confidence that occurs with the "traitor" makes it very difficult to reconcile with that person. In fact, in many cases, after the betrayal there is a grieving process in which it is necessary to accept the situation. A complicated grieving process, because circumstances are not ideal to heal wounds.
Over time, however, one can rebuild his life and move on. You can even forgive the other person.
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How to overcome a betrayal
Overcoming a betrayal is not easy , and if the person matters to us a lot, it can affect the different areas of our life. Now, these delicate and painful situations can sink for a while, but they can also mean valuable experiences and learning of incalculable value for and for life.
But, What to do when they betray us? How to overcome this delicate moment? In the following lines we give you some keys to do it.
1. Analyze the circumstances in which the betrayal occurred
After a betrayal, and as in any situation of mourning, the first stage that the person experiences is that of shock. Betrayal is such a painful situation that some people experience a knot in the stomach and terrible disappointment and sadness. In this situations it is important to talk to someone close , because channeling this type of emotions may not be easy. Talking to other individuals can also allow you to see things from another perspective.
It is also important that you analyze the context and the reason why the betrayal occurred. For example, if we talk about a couple's infidelity, you may not have taken into account the needs of the other person. It is good to do self-criticism once the phase of denial passes .
2. Do not be hard on yourself
Often, in these situations, anger and sadness appear. Sadness is often experienced when a person begins to recognize the extent of the situation. Despite the pain and the feeling of betrayal, It is also common to remember good things about the relationship and what one misses. If you feel betrayed, it is because the other person was important to you.
The truth is that during the time of sadness you need to release those emotions, and, in fact, this can happen at the same time you feel anger. Emotional instability is frequent in these delicate moments. What you should do is treat yourself with compassion, and if you have to cry, do it! The important thing is that you are not hard on yourself.
- Related article: "Compassion: a basic tool in our relationships"
3. Do not hold a grudge
While we should treat ourselves with love, we should not hold a grudge against other people either. When we feel anger, we experience a need for relief, especially against the person who hurt us. We want to get revenge.
However, this is not a good way to channel emotions, and what we can achieve with this action also harms us. The best alternative is, in reality, not to hold a grudge .
- Related article: "Resentful people: 10 traits and attitudes that characterizes them"
4. Accept the situation
Acceptance is one of the best decisions we can make to restore well-being and mental health. Because as I said in the previous point, to recreate ourselves in frustration or anger The only thing that is going to propitiate is that we are the ones who suffer the most . Accepting something like this is not always easy, but in the article "Self-acceptance: 5 psychological tips to achieve it" you can find useful information to achieve it.
5. Take your time
Acceptance can take time because you have to follow a series of stages and you need time to reflect on what happened. Now, as we explained in the article "Does time cure everything? Science responds. " The time is good to see things from another perspective, but to heal emotional wounds we must also do our part .
6. Be honest
It is important that, throughout the process, be honest with yourself and the other person. Connect with oneself and not avoid reality is one of the best ways to deal with problems . On the other hand, if, for example, you want to overcome an infidelity, sincerity is the best way to do it.In this sense, you can learn more in the article "Overcome an infidelity: the 5 keys to achieve it".
7. Excuse me!
Forgiving that person who has betrayed you does not mean that you have to accept it again in your life or that you agree with its behavior, but that it is an act of maturity , in which the situation has been accepted and the person is freed from feeling resentment. In fact, forgiveness has many benefits. In the article "Forgiveness: should I or should I not forgive the one who hurt me?" You can prove it.
What are the ideal situations to forgive? We should forgive a betrayal in the following circumstances.
- The person recognizes the person the harm he or she has caused and is trying to change the behavior.
- The individual clearly apologizes and gives evidence that he does not intend to do it again.
- His performance was the result of anger or disappointment and the person regretted acting in this way.
- He has learned from that behavior and is unlikely to do it again.
- It is an isolated behavior, relatively unimportant .
