6 love tests to apply to your relationships
The tests of love do not have to consist of things that we demand of the other so that it demonstrates to what extent it believes in the couple's relationship. In any case, they can be understood as something more constructive: a way of knowing, in a rough way, if the affective bond that unites two people is strong or if, on the contrary, what holds a couple together has nothing to do with it. see with that
Next we will see a proposal of list of tests of love so that, all fair, they can be used in the day to day. What it is about is to observe the relationship of couple and stop to consider if between two people there are some emotions that make us think of a shared and exciting project.
- Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love exist?
An aid to know if it is true love
Love is always complicated , but we can do something simpler. In particular, we have several options to know, in a rough way, when a relationship has a solid foundation and when it does not.
And there are many ways in which a relationship can be created as a couple in which the affective bond is weak or almost non-existent. Let's think, for example, of the little assertive people who are afraid to say no not to displease the other. When a relationship begins, it is possible that despite the fact that love is not reciprocated, the decision not to continue giving false hope is not faced.
Another example we have in the manipulative people who start dating someone for interest. In these cases, the relationship is based on someone who tries by all means that the other becomes practically addicted to the relationship, and for this it uses falsehoods and deceptions that feed the emotional blackmail.
Finally, something much simpler can also happen: that love is over but the routine and habits linked to the relationship continue to be perpetuated. In these cases you can get to confuse the feeling for the other with the fear of ending with a whole lifestyle.
Love tests to assess the strength of couple relationships
To detect these undesirable situations as soon as possible, and in the absence of couples therapy, there is nothing like resorting to some tests of love.
1. Does not mind showing infatuation to others
There are many people who are very reluctant to show their feelings of tenderness to friends or other family members, but that does not mean that they can not change in some situation. And ... if being with the couple is not enough excuse to show the most affective side before others, what is?
At first It is hard to get carried away and offer clear signs of affection to the other person if there are more people watching, but at the end of the day, the pleasure of sharing those moments should compensate for that discomfort that others see us with different eyes. Expressing feelings is not a crime.
2. Shows a fair attitude
Many people believe that the tests of love consist of carrying out on their own initiative all kinds of pampering, from taking breakfast to bed until it is the other who always chooses the restaurant in which to dine. However, this does not have to be the case, and in fact it is perfectly consistent with the behavior of a manipulative person or a couple who feels guilty and "exchanges" those small sacrifices for times when they fall into infidelity.
On the other hand, one of the best tests of love consists of combine those pampering with moments in which he communicates assertively what are your own interests. After all, a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife is not a child, and treating the other as if he were a minor means denying his status as an adult and responsible person. In those cases, an illusion is being lived.
3. Invest effort in listening
One of the situations in which it is most noticeable if the relationship is based on love and empathy is in conversations. It is in these moments when the only thing we should attend to is the other's point of view. Not his physical contact or his livelihood, but his words and speech. To speak face to face means to open a window to the mental world of the other , means active listening.
Thus, conversations and situations of face-to-face dialogue are one of the best proofs of love: if there is an interest in the mental characteristics of our partner, it shows in our attitude, our nonverbal language, and the presence or lack of impatience for him to finish talking. Looking at this regularly is very useful, although we must bear in mind that fatigue can also create distractions not caused by lack of love.
4. Open conversations regularly
What do we do when we love someone passionately? As minimum, think about that person very often . And, in these times, a good way to intuit how often that happens is the number of conversations by phone and social networks that our partner initiates.
Excesses are always bad, of course, and being constantly sending messages indicates that something is wrong (possibly jealousy or distrust), but the relative absence of attempts to contact during the time that is not in the same place is reason to ask if everything is fine. Which brings us to the next point.
5. Ask how you feel
A relationship is not simply a piece of life in which to invest time and resources. It is also a place to which we are going to pay attention to the other, to see to what extent we can be of help. That is why something as simple as asking "how do you feel?" It is such a powerful tool and, on the other hand, a sign of love.
6. It's easy to apologize
Even in the most perfect pairs errors abound. That's why, when they appear on the part of the other person, it's good to see if he apologizes, and the way he does it. After all, if pride weighs more than the will to make the other feel better Something is missing in that relationship.
