social psychology and personal relationships

60 questions to know a person better

April 5, 2024

The psychologists They have a large number of instruments to better understand the style of behavior of people or their personality type.

However, this does not mean that people outside the study of psychology can not have other ways to better know the people around them. In fact, there is a relatively affordable option to get to know more about the people around us. It's about the questions to meet a person .

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Questions to meet someone

And is that an open dialogue between two people can serve a large number of objectives and functions: deception, cooperation, disclosure of specific data and, of course, it can also be a context in which we get in touch with the personality of our interlocutor and we create our own hypothesis about him .

Because, I propose 60 questions to know someone better and that you can use to create a trusting environment in a short time.

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Some questions to get to know a person better

Maybe using these questions we stick to the scrupulosity and completeness of a psychologist practicing as such, but in addition to seeing how the other person reacts to certain phrases and questions, also it will help us to add an extra interest to our conversations and, in many cases, we will make the other person be honest and open more to us .

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It is a list that could be extended to infinity, since the questions to know someone better can be as diverse as the human imagination is wide. Here I recommend a few, but of course you do not need to use them all, since you would sin excessively if you converted the dialogue into an interrogation. You can use the ones you choose in the order you want, although it is advisable to leave the most personal ones for the end. In any case, I recommend that you enjoy the process of knowing the other person.

Required reading: "Guide to meet new people: sites, skills and advice"

1. Where would you like to live?

Raise this simple subject It is a good way to know the tastes and priorities of people . You can modify this question to make it more concrete ("In what country would you like to live, in what city, etc.?") and see, in this way, some aspects of life that your interlocutor or interlocutor valued more and some situations that he does not support.

2. In what place would your perfect vacation take place?

Combining this question with the previous one you can see if there are contrasts between aspects of the ideal environment in which to live and the characteristics that a place should have in which it is only punctually, in passing. Knowing someone better means not only knowing what that person asks of the routine, but also how he likes to break it.

3. Can you describe your bedroom?

The bedroom It is one of the most private rooms in the home and in which you spend more hours . Therefore, it usually reflects many aspects of the tastes and personality of the people. For example, you can get an idea about whether you value your privacy more or less according to the barriers that exist between the interior of the bedroom and common places, or you can know the preferences and hobbies according to the decoration and objects that populate the space.

4. What historical character would you like to interview?

This question is useful to know better the philosophical concerns of the person, their interests and even their cultural baggage.

5. What kind of clothes would you not wear in any case?

This question serves, among other things, to test the other person's inventiveness and creativity , since the possible answers are practically endless. In addition, it is a question that poses a challenge and at the same time is carefree, which adds interest to the conversation and serves to relieve tension.

6. What are your three favorite bands?

There are some studies that indicate that musical tastes are important in the creation of groups of friends, especially the younger their members . This question serves to get to know the other person better and to know about their preferences in a topic that is difficult to deal with from rationality and solid arguments. On the other hand, it is harder to answer than "What kind of music do you listen to?", so that you will be more sure that the other person is watching the dialogue.

7. What is freedom for you?

Through this question You'll see the other person's ability to deal with abstract issues , not so connected with the day to day. On the other hand, if you have difficulty answering it or you seem surprised by this question, it is possible that this person is not used to touching philosophical issues.

8. What is the aspect about you that you like most?

The possible answers to this question are as diverse as the type of information about the other person that you can get with it. It's a way of glimpse how the interlocutor assesses himself , if you pay more or less attention to their physical or psychological attributes and, at the same time, you can know first hand aspects that you did not know about their way of being or their mental abilities.

9. What is your favorite book?

Another question to get an idea about the cultural baggage of the neighbor and, incidentally, Know your literary tastes , something that never hurts. You will also know if you usually read more or less regularly.

10. Do you often think about what happens to you and what you feel?

Raising this topic You will know if this person spends more or less time to manage their emotions and to distance themselves from what happens to analyze them coldly. Having this habit is usually associated with less impulsiveness and the habit of thinking about the consequences of things before doing them.

11. What superpower would you have?

Another carefree question to relieve tensions and create a relaxed atmosphere among so many questions and, in addition, exercise creativity a bit.

12. Which four series are your favorites?

This is another of those questions to get to know someone better through the type of cultural products you consume. The answer to this question itself is not the interesting thing, but the aspects of these series that the person says they value most, as well as the characters in which they seem to feel most identified and the reasons for it.

By the way: do not miss this post: "Psychological series: 10 TV series that every psychologist should see"

13. What three things do you appreciate most in a person?

It is better not to start asking this question, as it is quite personal. It can be useful for you know the values that the interlocutor most appreciates .

14. How would you like to be in the future?

This is one of those questions to better know someone who will serve you to know about this person's aspirations, as well as some aspects of their self-concept.

15. If you were an animal, what would you be?

Another question to know about the self-image of your interlocutor , the own characteristics that considers more relevant and those that are not so much.

16. What song would serve to summarize your personality? Why?

The essence of a person summarized with a piece of music. A difficult task, but not impossible, and that can be used to express certain qualities and aspects of their own through music , something that can hardly be covered with conceptual categories.

17. What four adjectives describe you best?

Like other questions that have already come up, this serves to get an idea about how the other person sees herself and, incidentally, to know the characteristics that are considered most relevant or unusual.

18. What is the mood you like the least?

This simple question can serve to know certain hobbies, concerns or situations that the other person usually tries to avoid. Very useful because, instead of talking about specific situations, we talk about the moods that trigger, subjective states of consciousness that can occur in very different contexts.

19. How would your friends describe you?

If other questions would be to know how this person sees herself, This is to know how you think you see it . Asking about your friends can make your answers biased towards the positive, but in return you reinforce the atmosphere of trust.

20. What three types of trade would you like to exercise?

With this question you can know more about the type of efforts and challenges towards which the tastes of the other person are oriented . In the same way, it can be useful to get an idea about whether they are better at tasks governed by fixed behavior patterns or those that leave more room for creativity, or those that involve teamwork or solitary work.

21. What skill would you like to perfect to fully master?

It serves to know more about the tastes of this person and, on the other hand, the type of challenges and projects that you would like to undertake .

22. If you could only keep five phone numbers of people outside your family, what would they be?

Is an indirect way to know more about the circle closest to this person . It can be useful to know if it retains relatively old friendships or tends to lose contact with people and create new friendships constantly.

23. What kind of person would you be afraid of?

Nothing like this question to know the type of attitudes and personalities that your interlocutor tends to avoid in the people with whom he relates .

24. What is the most crazy thing you've done?

A classic, but no less useful. It serves to know to what extent the limits that frame the correct behavior are more or less present in the person speaking with you.

25. What would be a good title for your autobiography?

Of course, the interesting thing about asking this question is not the title that occurs to the interlocutor, but the conversation that emerges from the answer. From this simple topic you can start a conversation in which we know better the other person from the way he explains his vision about his own life , the milestones that marked it in the past, etc.

26. What is it that most people think about you and is not true?

This is one of the best questions to get to know a person, because it allows the interlocutor to talk about their characteristics that they consider more unknown and to give examples that help understand your point of view .

27. What would you have liked to start learning 5 years ago?

This question serves to get an idea about the vital projects that the other person values in the present. At the same time, it helps to understand what were the priorities and goals that same person had in the past.

28. What kind of people do you find especially attractive?

If we clarify this question by clarifying that we do not refer to something related to physical attraction, we will be able to recreate an approximate image about the personal characteristics that are valued more .

29. What characteristics do you like that are present in other people but not in you?

There is a difference between the ideal to which a person aspires and the characteristics that are highly valued in other people. This is a question to know the person exploring this difference.

30. On what topic would you like to be asked to get to know you better?

Self-image and self-esteem come to light once more, as in other questions to get to know someone better. Most likely, your partner will take out topics that he understands that enhance the positive aspects of his person .

31. What kind of music do you like to dance?

The type of dance that a person likes most can give us an idea of their degree of introversion or extraversion . People who feel a weakness for types of dance that are performed as a couple or in a group will have a greater propensity to be extraverted, while introverted or doubt the question (being unaccustomed to dance) or respond to musical genres that are not related with very complex ways of dancing, like rock.

32. If you saw a dog whose leg has been trapped in a gate, what would you do? What if instead of a dog it was a lizard?

This double question serves to know the attitude of this person towards animals, whether or not domestic . The part in which the lizard is named makes this one of the best questions to know someone in relation to their attachments to life forms very different from the human.

33. In what situations would you be willing or willing to lie?

A question to test the degree of honesty that is habitual in the person with whom we are speaking. Although anyone will try to give an image of himself better than corresponds to reality, the answers to this question allow to compare between people .

34. What are you most irrationally afraid of?

With this question you can explore the obsessions and fears of the other person . It is interesting to think about whether the answer or the answers you give have to do with material things, such as a type of animal or a specific situation, or with more abstract and general phenomena, such as misunderstanding, abuse of new technologies or existential vacuums.

35. In what way do you prefer to relate to people?

This is a very open question that allows us to explore which situations in which the interlocutor or interlocutor prefers to interact with others: in group meetings or two people, on the Internet, etc.

36. How would you define your type of sense of humor?

Humor is one of the most important characteristics of a human being, but it is not always expressed in the same way. There is black humor, absurd humor, slapstick... different ways of experiencing laughter. A question to know someone through their sense of humor (or absence of it) .

37. Where would you go to relax for a few days?

This question is useful to know the idea of calm that the person who speaks with us has.

38. And ... Where would you go to live an adventure?

The opposite question to the previous one, to know what kind of exciting experiences attract the attention of the interlocutor or interlocutor.

39. What is the memory of your childhood that you have more alive?

This question does not have to give us a particularly valuable information about the personality of whoever was with us (unless talking about a traumatic experience), but yes it can serve to create a relaxed atmosphere in which to ask more things and, incidentally, to know things about the environment in which he was educated.

40. When did you realize that you had entered adulthood?

A way to know the conception of the infant and the adult that the other person has. Do you have a child mentality or have you matured more than what would be advisable?

41. What do you miss more than your childhood?

Another question to know the most infantile and innocent side of the other person (if he has one).

42. What kind of people are the ones that give you the most pity?

A way to explore the limits of empathy who speaks with us, although we must know how to recognize when a sincere answer is being given and when it is answered in an ironic way so as not to have to reveal this type of information.

43. With what kind of people would you be ashamed to be seen?

A question to know the image that someone wants to give of herself, beyond the way in which she sees herself. It helps to know to what extent there is vanity in it .

44. What 3 people are the ones who inspire you the most?

This question not only allows knowing the concerns and sensitivities of someone, but also their historical knowledge, which never hurts.

45. Do you consider yourself a superstitious person?

Knowing someone is also knowing things about their way of thinking , and to believe in paranormal phenomena is something that speaks about the way in which one conceives reality and thinks about the way in which nature works.

46. Do you prefer short and simple stories or convoluted and complex arguments?

You can always answer that both, but somehow it helps to know the type of stories and narratives that most attract someone's attention.

47. Do you like to know what is going on in distant places, or are you only interested in local things?

A way to test the other person's worries and information cravings. Maybe we can know more about his vision of the world.

48. With which fictional character do you identify yourself most?

A way to leave open the possibility that the interlocutor or speaker speak about his personality and knowledge about works of fiction.

49. What members of your family have you learned the most?

One of those questions to know someone within their family context and, in passing, their knowledge, skills and abilities.

50. Which member of your family is a better example for you?

A question similar to the previous one, although in this case we talk about a different facet of education: the role model what is followed

51. Are you clear about what you are looking for in life?

To know the degree of structuring of the other person's life.

52. With what kind of people would you never get along?

Sometimes, there are activities or personality forms that produce an important rejection.

53. What kind of person would you refuse to talk to?

To know how far the boundaries of identification and empathy go .

54. How long has it been since something happened that you deeply regret?

This question of the occasion to talk about regrets and mismanagement of situations.

55. Would it make you feel bad to leave with many secrets?

This is one of the few points to meet a person who focus on an existential aspect.

56. Do you think you are a person open to changes?

To know the degree of appreciation that the person feels for the routine and the familiar.

57. Do you feel threatened or easily threatened?

There are those who at the minimum feel attacked or questioned.

58. Do you think that reputation is something important, for you?

A way to know if you care much about the image it gives.

59. Is it better to defend causes because of their legitimacy, or because of the possibility of putting them into practice?

In this case, we explore the trend towards idealism that our interlocutor or interlocutor has.

60. Does it cost you to talk about yourself?

This question serves to know to what extent the other person is on the defensive.