7 keys for someone to open up more to you
A good conversation based on sincerity and the free exchange of opinions is as valuable as it is difficult to find. And this is not so because there are very few people capable of connecting with us, but because we have assumed a way of relating that makes us pay close attention to the need to keep our distance.
Social relationships are full of rigid rules that, on many occasions, instead of watching over our individual well-being, make it difficult for us to enjoy honest dialogues through which to connect with others. Because of him, every day we are losing the opportunity to hold fascinating conversations that go far beyond the superficial.
But ... what would happen if we learned ways to make others more open to us ? Not only our friends and family, but all kinds of people we have just met or with whom we have not yet crossed a word. The possibility of easily connecting with someone in the supermarket queue, at a party with friends or at the entrance of the library is something that we should not give up for the simple fear of not knowing how to break the ice.
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Connect with others honestly
If leaving behind the shyness and distrust is already complicated, once we have achieved it, we still have to face another challenge: deactivate the barriers that others put between them and us.
However, there are simple strategies that can help us solve this type of problems in a simple way. And, in social relations, simplicity is usually the best tool against communication crises and empathy. Below we will look at some of these effective strategies to make others open up and express more meaningfully who they are.
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1. Take the helm of the dialogue
If we are considering adopting ways to make someone open more to us, it is because at first he adopts a slightly distant or reserved position, albeit unconsciously. This psychological barrier will be there during the first moments of dialogue, and we can do little to avoid this, so our task will be to make during the first minutes or even seconds, the other person understands that he is spending unnecessary efforts to maintain that wall raised that keeps it isolated
The best way to connect with someone is take the reins of the conversation, even if only at the beginning . In this way, our interlocutor adopts a more comfortable role, which leads her to relax. That is why during the first minutes we do not have to worry if we talk much more than the other person; after all, if the other listens to us, we are giving him more opportunities to find handholds to continue the conversation by offering answers.
Slowly, the security and comfort that the role of listener offers it teaches that there is nothing to lose by getting involved more in dialogue, and that awakens in the other the interest in expanding a power of influence. In addition, by the time you begin to participate more proactively in the dialogue, we will have explained so much about who we are through what we say that our interlocutor will see with better eyes correspond with more open and honest opinions.
2. Show safety in you
To get others open to us is very effective show that we are not afraid of the other person judging us .
Although it may seem otherwise, showing this self-confidence will not make the other person adopt a defensive attitude, but will be infected by this state of mind and even begin to subtly imitate our relaxed posture and the carelessness that reflects our language non-verbal, something that in psychology is known as a chameleon effect. The idea is to express that the same comfort with which one speaks can be adopted by the other.
3. Part of anecdotes and move on to the big issues
Starting to talk about the way in which life is perceived or the idea of an ideal relationship is often too intimidating. That's why it's better introduce these topics by talking about past anecdotes that one has lived and explain the lesson vitar that has been extracted from them.
4. Detects topics from which to depart
Throughout a conversation, themes that allow us to draw other lines of dialogue of interest to all the people involved appear. That's why it's worth detecting these issues and remembering them for, if necessary, resume the dialogue from there .
On the other hand, sometimes these issues do not even have to appear in the conversation; sometimes, it is provided by the context in which the conversation occurs.
5. Use humor
Humor is an excellent way to relieve tensions and to show that behind all those words that come out of our mouths there is a human being who likes to have a good time and find relief in comments that, simple or not, They denote sensitivity and help empathize .
In addition to creating camaraderie, these little humorous touches allow the other person to engage in dialogue explaining anecdotes.
6. Let your ideology be intuited
Talking about politics with a person who keeps distanced is not usually the best idea to get it open more, but there is something that can be done: letting one's own ideology glimpse, once and in a subtle way.
In this way the other person no longer have reasons to stay defensive by not knowing this information, and may act accordingly, either by showing their agreement with that line of opinion or by renouncing the idea of entering into that topic; In any case, the uncertainty disappears, and that relieves tensions.
7. From the general to the specific
To know more about the other person without becoming very intrusive, the best is from very basic or obvious information about our interlocutor to, from there, give him the opportunity to go into detail. For example, you can start by talking about your city of residence and end up reviewing opinions about the type of problems a certain type of neighborhood faces.