7 things you should not do when you're jealous
Few behaviors can be as unhealthy as jealousy, which cause a serious relational problem and can end in a courtship. Although relationships are complicated in themselves, more so when there is no trust between the two members.
Jealousy is harmful and can even degrade relationships to cause the break in addition to great discomfort. This discomfort not only affects the person who is the victim of jealousy, but also the jealous person.
- Related article: "The types of jealousy and their different characteristics"
What you should not do when you are jealous
Jealousy can be considered feelings of insecurity and anguish that hijack the attention of the jealous person. To some extent they are normal, because no one likes to lose someone they love.
However, when the person is unable to control these feelings and jealousy cause so much suffering that they endanger a loving relationship, we are talking about sick jealousy, of which we explain more in the article "Sickly jealousy: 10 common signs of extremely jealous people"
The first step to overcoming jealousy is to be aware of them. Therefore, if you are jealous in the following lines we wanted to highlight some actions that you should not carry out when you are jealous.
1. Do not think bad about everything
They say that jealous people do not think badly about what they see but because of what they imagine. When a person feels insecure, they may relate things that are not really linked, or that suspects something without even checking the veracity of their beliefs . Therefore, it is necessary that you detect when you lose your nerves and observe if the reason why you lose them is real or is the result of your imagination.
2. Do not accuse him
When a person is jealous, the first reaction is anger, and although there is no firm evidence to confirm the reason for your jealousy, When entering into a sickly dynamic, the jealous may come to accuse another person unfairly . Therefore, it is necessary to be realistic, and before letting these toxic feelings invade you, you must be as objective as possible.
3. Do not ban
Excessively jealous people they adopt control behaviors about their partner : telling him how he should dress, with whom he should go, etc. Nobody is going to be with you as an obligation, so this behavior will only cause the love relationship to become toxic.
- Related article: "23 signs that you have a 'toxic relationship' of a partner"
4. Do not become a detective
Insecurity leads a person to become obsessed with having control of the couple, but also to want to know what it is doing at all times. For example, it is possible for an individual with jealousy to want to know what their partner does through their social networks. There are people who even make use of the couple account without their behavior. This behavior is not healthy , and also hurt the victim of jealousy, also hurts the jealous.
5. Do not talk without thinking
Impulsivity can appear at any time when the jealous person is not able to control their own emotions.
6. Do not call at all hours
This problem of impulsivity also causes the jealous to want to know what the couple does at all times. And, in fact, in most cases, this one is already on the defensive even before speaking , so your attitude can be very aggressive. It is not good to be aware of the couple 24 hours a day.
7. Do not leave your life aside
The previous point is an example of how a relationship in which distrust and jealousy predominate, obsession makes an appearance. This happens because jealousy appear because of low self-esteem and insecurity , and the jealous is afraid to feel abandoned. To overcome jealousy, the best alternative is to work on oneself.
How to stop being a jealous person
Taking into account the previous points, how is it possible to stop being a jealous person?
1. Recognize that you are jealous
The above points are examples of what makes a person jealous, therefore, detecting them is the principle to be able to get out of this complex situation . Do you behave as in the previous points? Then it is necessary that you look for a solution, even with professional help if necessary.
2. Do your part
Jealousy is normal to a certain extent. But some people, despite feeling this way, do their part so that the situation does not get out of hand. This is key to not entering a vicious circle that harms the two actors of the love relationship. If you want to change, the only one who can do it is you.
3. Be objective
Sometimes, the emotions we feel cloud us, but we must be emotionally intelligent and be objective about how we behave in certain situations with the couple.
4. Work on you
As I said, jealousy is often a consequence of low self-esteem and insecurity. For this reason it is necessary that, in the interest of leaving behind jealousy, people with this problem must work on their own personal development. When someone is happy with the life they have, does not look for someone to fill this void , but someone who adds up.
5. Improved communication
Improving communication with your partner is the best way to overcome the lattice, as this avoids many conflicts and leads to no misinterpretation. Communicating correctly with the couple can increase the trust between both, because in this way each one knows the needs of the other and it is possible to negotiate for the good of both.
- If you want to know more about these strategies to stop feeling jealous, you can read this article: "How to stop being a jealous person? 12 ways to achieve it "