70 sarcastic quotes from the best thinkers, humorists and philosophers
Life is not always a path of roses and things will not always come out as we want , because sometimes we can cross paths with someone who does not like us, or someone can cross paths with us, and for some reason, we do not fit.
Sometimes, sarcastic phrases are a good way to say things that can hurt indirectly and in a more intelligent and fun way.
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Great sarcastic phrases for life
Sarcasms often use clichés to make jokes, so no one should be offended by some of these quotes. Humor is a form of communication in which transgression fits.
In the following lines you can find a list of sarcastic and scathing phrases that can be fun.
1. Some smoke, others get drunk, some take drugs, and others fall in love. The truth is that everyone is destroyed in their own way
Love can sometimes end in heartbreak, which can cause health problems just like drugs.
2. Sometimes I need what only you can give me: your absence (Ashleigh Brillian)
If you tell someone, do not expect a reaction too friendly.
3. I do not hold a grudge, but I have a good memory
One can try not to hold a grudge, but memory is sometimes not controlled.
4. I do not want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to get it without dying (Woody Allen)
Poor Woody prefers to be a part of his successes.
5. Your heart is as busy as your phone line
In reference to someone who is in love with another person.
6. Be careful! Happiness of two, envy of thousands
When things go well, there will always be someone who will wish you bad.
7. Sometimes I think about who will fall into your arms and I do not know whether to laugh or feel compassion
When someone leaves you and blames you, but in reality the guilty person is the other person.
8. Encounter very educational television. Every time someone turns it on, I go to another room to read a book (Groucho Marx)
One of the most celebrated sarcastic quotes.
9. Happy are those who wait for nothing, because they will never be disappointed
Those who live in the moment have greater opportunities to be happy.
10. I wanted to ask you for the number of your ex to form a kind of support group
An ironic quote that can annoy anyone who is told.
11. History has taught us that man and nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all alternatives. (Abba Eban)
Irony before the prevailing political warmongering.
12. Grow memories and you will get tears
The past must be forgotten because it can hinder one's happiness.
13. I looked for you in the dictionary ... and you do not mean anything
For those people who have hurt us.
14. Why should we accept sexual advice from the pope? If you know anything about sex, you should not! (George Bernard Shaw)
He would have violated the law of celibacy.
15. I said 'bring me whatever you want' ... and it only brought me lies (Ray Charles)
In reference to a lying person.
16. Love now, pay later
The lack of love is one of the most painful experiences that the human being can experience.
17. Many times you let me fall, I learned to fly
When your partner disappoints you many times, in the end you get to accept it.
18. There are three things that always come out: the Sun, the Moon and the truth
The truth can be hidden for a time, but not infinitely.
19. Women are like dolphins: they are scientifically proven to be too intelligent, but few understand them
A quote with irony about a sexist topic and the complex relationship that men and women can have,
20. Can you help me find something? -What thing? -All the time I lost with you
Ideal for those relationships that did not end badly.
21. Love is the child of illusion and the father of disappointment (James Scott)
Love is a feeling that floods us and makes us feel really good.
22. You are a perfect artifact of defects
A word game that contains a touch of irony.
23. The problem is that people know little, but talk too much (Kurt Smith)
Ignorance often makes us believe that we know more than we know.
24. I am an expert pretending that the opinion of others matters to me
There are individuals who know how to act very well when surrounded by other people.
25. If this is love, I prefer to watch television, it is more educational and less possessive
Love, at times, may not be reciprocated and cause great pain.
26. Many people decide to spend fortunes on their weddings because, in some cases, it is the last day of happiness in their lives
An irony about life as a couple and marriage.
27. If you believe the last desert Coke, I like beer
Meaning that being the last person in the universe, you would not have anything with that person.
28. No one has dominion over love, but he dominates things
Love occupies our life when it is presented, because it is a very intense feeling.
29. Sorry, I thought it was the love of my life ... Next!
When you run out of patience with someone you've been with.
30. If someone is unfaithful you will want to throw yourself on the balcony, but remember, you have horns, not wings (Woody Allen)
An ironic quote that deals with infidelity.
31. I am responsible for what I say, not for you to understand (Bob Marley)
We can send a clear message, but if the other person does not interpret it as we wish, then we can not do anything.
32. Love is like war: easy to start, hard to finish
A comparison of couple relationships with war conflicts.
33. She believes a princess and does not know in what bed she left the crown
In relation to a woman who thinks that the world revolves around her.
34. Sexual inactivity is dangerous ... It produces horns! (Will Smith)
The lack of sex in the couple can lead to infidelity.
35. Saying goodbye was as difficult as writing this sentence
Meaning that, in fact, it did not cost him anything to separate from that person.
36. Your eternity only lasted a couple of months
In relation to a relationship that did not work.
37. Someday I'll start what ended
A phrase that talks about procrastination and leaving things for tomorrow.
38. Dear Cupid, more marksmanship next time, to see if you hit the indicated
An irony about an unrequited love or a love that did not work.
39. If love is blind ... Why is lingerie so popular? (John Goodman)
A funny reflection on sexuality and intimate relationships.
40. You can not forget the Queen, playing the Ladies
For those men who can not get rid of a woman they've loved.
41. There are many ways to invoke the devil: through a ouija, a prayer, an exorcism, or asking "Are you angry my love?" (Andreu Buenafuente)
When a couple ends badly, there is precisely no love left between the members.
42. I hated you as much as I loved you
It may happen that the more you want, the more rejection that person causes you.
43. It's impolite to say "I love you" with a mouth full of lies
For those people who have serious difficulties not to lie.
44. Be careful, any day of these you will call my heart and it will sound busy
A warning that you will not be waiting for that person forever.
45. If you will not comply, neither wish nor promise
It is painful when a person tells you what you want to hear but then does not comply.
46. On any given day you will realize that your children came out well ugly and you are going to ask yourself why you did not marry me (Jon Lajoie)
A message with irony that you are in love with that person.
47. One tip: in the future try to be less intelligent ... sorry: obvious
When someone wants to hide something but can not.
48. Love is blind, let it go
A comparison of the saying "love is blind" with blindness of truth.
49. If you do not like me the way I am, change
A way to tell the other person that you are comfortable with who you are.
50. The woman who has luck with men, does not know how lucky she is
Some relationships are very complicated.
51. Before crossing the ocean for you, today I do not cross my fingers (Dave Hughes)
There are people who, over time, disappoint us.
52. It's amazing how many problems you could solve with a chainsaw
An irony that can appear in moments of interpersonal conflicts.
53. Tomorrow I will take your opinion into account, today I'm not interested
When you know you are right but the other person does not want to see it.
54. I do not understand people who are happy and still do not know me, I really do not understand them
An irony that is typical of a narcissistic person.
55. There are people, that from the first moment you see them, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life ... without seeing them again
When someone does not fall for you and you prefer to have that person away from your life.
56. Tell me, does your pride kiss better than me?
This phrase can be said when the person fully trusts the way he has to kiss.
57. We are all idiots sometimes, but some people assume it as a way of life. You for example
An educated way to tell someone that their attitude is not the most appropriate.
58. You are the living proof that a man can live without a brain
As in the previous sentence, a very polite way to tell someone that is not exactly smart.
59. Wait for me, what I get from you
It is not one of the most sarcastic phrases on this list, but well used it can be useful.
60. Everything is laughter, sex and fun until you ask ... what are we?
There are people who simply do not want to have anything serious with anyone.
61I searched on Google: "Infidelity" and guess ... I got your name
A fun way to tell someone who is unfaithful to the core.
62. The most effective laxative in the world is called "we have to talk" (Dave Chapelle)
The phrase "we have to talk" can be cause for concern for those people who hide something.
63. Criticizing my shortcomings will not diminish yours (Jack Black)
There are individuals who prefer to project their failures on others.
64. My tears are 1% water and 99% your imbecilities
When the person who makes you cry is immature and the fault is yours.
65. Do not worry about what I have, do it for what you lack
A free interpretation.
66. The problem of being sarcastic is that sometimes people reject me, and since I care a lot about their opinion, I get very sad
An irony to tell the world that you are not going to cry, whatever you say.
67. No, seriously, follow me telling your story. In fact, yawning is my favorite way to show how much I'm interested in listening to you
For when someone bores you and you do not want to hurt feelings.
68. You were the best part of my worst mistake
We do not always find the right person for love, but everything is learned.
69. It turns out that your opinions do not give good results, better use mine
When the opinion of others is not good, this phrase can be used.
70. What would life be without the opportunity to make stupid decisions (Doctor House)
A good way to look at life with optimism and not feel unsuccessful in the face of mistakes.