8 characteristics of toxic children and how to deal with them
It is common for many children and young people to be rebellious and feel little attachment to social norms and responsibilities . Many have an innate desire to explore on their own what the consequences of their actions are.
At an early age, many learn to fit into this society based on "trial and error". This way of living life can be considered normal, and many of these rebellious children grow up and become successful adults. This is part of their development.
- Related article: "Emperador syndrome: bossy, aggressive and authoritarian children"
Conflicting and difficult children
But nevertheless, there are some situations in which these difficult children cause serious problems to their parents , with problematic behaviors that seriously damage the father-child relationship. They are tyrannical and authoritarian children, also known as toxic children. Despite their young age, they act as if they were household leaders, demanding, demanding and acting as true dictators.
The violent attitudes of the children are often reflected in psychological aggressions, insults and bad answers to the parents. The family environment becomes a hostile context, with violent closures of doors, broken objects , constant fights, destructive actions, etc.
Toxic children: characteristics and consequences for parents
But… What characteristics do these minors present in their behavior? How does your violent attitude and tyranny affect your parents? In the following lines you can find the answers to these questions.
1. Challenging attitudes
One of the biggest problems of toxic children is their challenging and provocative attitudes, which are characterized by aggressive behavior towards parents and a violation of family norms and limits.
They always cross that line that marks the discipline, without any form of respect. His idea is to take the opposite, with hostile reactions and full of anger.
2. Bosses and authoritarians
But this type of children not only respond to parents with unpleasant attitudes, but they are bossy and demanding. They have an authoritarian personality, which makes them intransigent .
They decide what and when they eat, what television channel is watched and, in short, do what they want. If they do not achieve their goals, they shout, threaten and physically and psychologically attack their parents and get upset.
3. They are capricious
These children are impulsive and their desires are usually the result of the caprice of the moment . They have a low tolerance for frustration and their hostile reaction may appear at any time.
Anything you want is a breeding ground for a new conflict. Maybe they want to watch the TV and ten minutes to play the console. They rarely do what parents ask of them and they go about their business. They need to satisfy those whims at the moment or a fight is coming.
4. They show a lack of empathy
They are children and young people with no social skills, and their maturational level of empathy is underdeveloped . Empathy is the ability to put yourself in the other person's skin, and since they are unable to do this, they do not experience feelings like love, guilt, forgiveness or compassion.
5. They are manipulators
In addition to being self-centered and having low tolerance for frustration, toxic children are manipulators. They may behave like this in other environments, for example, the school, but there their demands are less taken into account.
On the other hand, it is in the context of the family that they really know the weaknesses of their parents, to whom they constantly manipulate to achieve their goals .
6. The main victims mothers
Although toxic children show aggressive behavior and challenging and aggressive behaviors with both parents, it is more common for mothers to show up. Parents tend to be less victims of these events because they tend to be more afraid. Despite not always being so, toxic children are often many times male.
7. Many times parents are the cause
Parents, as main educational agents, are usually the main culprits in this situation. Although, in some cases, genetics can cause more conflicting personalities, education may favor that this negative behavior is minimized or, on the contrary, manifests itself .
Education begins with children born, and parents must learn to set limits and help them develop healthy personalities. A consensual and conflicting parent can make a child toxic.
- Related article: "Toxic parents: 15 characteristics that children detest"
8. Recognize the problem is essential to take action
When a father finds himself in this situation, it is necessary to recognize that something is wrong, because the consequences of this war between parents and toxic children can only cause harm and suffering. When someone is aware of this situation, then it is possible to seek help. In some cases, going to a psychologist is the solution.
How to deal with a toxic child
Dealing with toxic children is not easy, because the family situation can become so toxic that it makes coexistence impossible . Ideally, children should be educated from an early age so that they can learn to be emotionally healthy and respectful adults.
If parents do not set limits or norms since the children are born, then it is very complicated to change their behavior at older ages.
- Related article "5 tips to nourish your child with emotional intelligence"
However, parents can always carry out a series of attitudes and strategies that minimize the impact of this toxic behavior and disobedient in search of family peace. They are the following:
- Set clear standards and consistent limits : The rules are useful if they are well established, so they should be clear and consistent. Parents should not question them in front of children.
- Make time for communication : Any interpersonal relationship can improve with dialogue and appropriate communication. In this way, each of the parties exposes their emotions and needs and agreements are reached. It is good that parents are clear and give examples to children about how they behave and what the consequences of their actions are.
- Focus on the positive : A positive attitude towards the relationship can also help to minimize the impact. Conflicts get worse when one party is on the defensive.
- Avoid prizes : The rules should be met without the need to give prizes, which is considered an extrinsic motivation. Therefore, intrinsic motivation must be encouraged, that is, work on the values of the children so that they understand how they should behave.
- Accept that there are things that can not be changed : Many times adults treat children as adults, thinking that they have the same level of reasoning. Children are explorers and you have to understand that it is often their curiosity that makes them behave like that, that is, they do not act in bad faith.
