Are you dating the right person? 6 keys to find out
Love is one of the most rewarding experiences that a human being can feel, and having a special person with whom to share both good and bad times can make us immensely happy. Vto see the day to day with that person that we consider unique and wonderful, and to wake up by his side helps us to feel full .
But not every day will be incredible, because relationships are a constant negotiation. There are difficult days and complicated periods in which the stability of the couple is in danger and the relationship falters. In those moments one can think that it is better to throw everything away, and rethink the meaning and the question of whether we are with the right person or not.
Following or leaving a relationship is a decision that is hard to make, especially if we have been with that person for a long time, because a cocktail of emotions comes into play, which can be difficult to manage.
When being in a couple makes you unhappy
In fact, there are people who get used to the unhappiness of the couple and pay for the pain . In spite of everything, he prefers to stay there suffering, for fear of uncertainty. Their low self-esteem is not ready for that hard blow of having to break up with someone, ignoring that singleness can be a great moment for personal growth. Being in such relationships that are like a roller coaster of feelings are hard to leave behind, and people can forget what it means to be happy.
Now, when you're with the right person, everything is rosy. Winter is less cold, you smile more, and even doing everyday things is fun. But how can we know if we are with the right person? Can we know if the person we date is our better half?
In the next lines we give you some clues to find out if you have been successful in the choice of couple .
1. Observe that your values are aligned
It is not necessary that the members of the couple share all the beliefs and that the relationship is a calm sea, without discussions between both actors, because that, simply, does not exist. Couples argue and may not have common ground on many issues . But what is necessary is that the deeper values are aligned, for example, if both want to have children or not. This was demonstrated by a group of researchers from The Open University who conducted a survey of 4,494 British subjects between 18 and 65 years old.
2. Does it make you laugh?
Humor is a key ingredient in love , because in addition to making a person more attractive and creating fun moments in the relationship, it is essential for relationships not to break. That is what John Gottman, a New York psychologist, discovered. In one of his studies, he asked different couples to talk about the conflicts they had. Gottman concluded that one of the key elements so that the discussions did not break the relationship was the sense of humor. In other words, if the members of the couple use humor when debating and discussing their problems, there is a greater likelihood of solving those conflicts and enjoying a healthier relationship.
3. Evaluate your level of satisfaction in the relationship
This may not be easy because it requires looking at the relationship thoroughly. But are you satisfied with that person? This is a generic question, so it is necessary to break down the relationship in different aspects (communication, intimate moments, respect, economic stability, etc.). Once these points have been assessed, it is necessary to analyze the situation. However, if you really care about the person, the conclusions of this evaluation do not have to mean a break , because this can also help you to be able to talk with that person about what you consider to be your needs. If you care, you may make an effort to fix the faults.
4. Are you afraid of being alone?
Let's face it, there are people who are unable to be single . Being with someone for the simple fact of being afraid of loneliness, in addition to a symptom of weakness and low self-esteem, is a serious mistake. If that happens to you, it's still time to do some self-reflection work and face your fears. Feeling too attached to another person is often a symptom of emotional dependence, and it is something we should avoid.
Self-reflection is key to personal development, so if you want to know more about this topic, you can read our article: "Personal Development: 5 Reasons for Self-Reflection".
5. Do you feel respected?
Respect is key in any relationship of couple or in any interpersonal relationship . Many couples break up because at some point they stop admiring, appreciating and respecting.Respect is important in complicated moments, because it makes conflicts less likely. Only people with serious self-esteem problems would be with someone who does not respect them.
6. Is there physical contact in the relationship?
Physical contact is just as important as the previous points. According to research carried out by Stony Brook University (United States), physical contact is one of the essential principles that influence the duration of a relationship . As the years go by, physical contact can be a problem for many couples, since at the beginning there is usually a lot. Therefore, it is not missed. Over time, saying "I love you" is not enough, you have to prove it.