Couple crisis: 7 signs that indicate that something is not right
The crisis of couple is one of the main headaches that appear in the love life of many people . Part of what makes them so harmful is that, although sometimes their cause is clear, it is also common for them to appear without more, in the total absence of a specific reason.
Sometimes, it seems that it is the simple passage of time that causes the quality of relationships to wear out, but the truth is that time by itself does not strengthen or weaken anything. To understand what couple crises are and how we can cope with them, we have to know well what are the relational dynamics of the day to day that feed them. Detecting the signs of this type of love crisis is crucial to react as soon as possible.
- Related article: "The 4 types of love: what different kinds of love are there?"
The signs of the couple crisis
Next we will see several signs of couple crisis that warn about the poor health of the affective relationship.
These situations do not always end in a sentimental break , but it is convenient not to let them pass and open new communication channels and even go to couple therapy if necessary.
1. You feel guilty before the illusion of your partner
This is one of the most subtle symptoms of the couple crisis, since it is not something that arises in relationships, but it does so in the mind of one of the people in the relationship. Fundamentally, it is an indicator that we perceive something that makes us feel bad about ourselves: that if we are for that person it is simply because of inertia and fear of ending the relationship.
Paradoxically, it is one of the signs of a quieter couple crisis, but at the same time its effects are very deep . Making the situation better is very complicated, because at this point the problem is not so much that the way a person expresses love does not fit well with that of the other, nor does it have to do with the incompatibility of habits; Here, the problem is that the decision has already been made that the relationship is a waste of time.
2. You bet everything to the future
There are times when it becomes clear that there are certain frictions in the relationship: the simple fact of living makes it very easy to end up arguing, and some of these fights can end up being chronicled .
Against this background, many people who go through a crisis of a couple adopt a totally passive attitude, in part, because they see it very difficult to deal with the problem. So, something very common is to show that the simple passage of time will fix it. The basic idea of this strategy sounds more or less like this: "let's continue investing time, money and effort in the relationship, and this kind of sacrifice will make that, by itself, this is fixed".
Of course, this is a totally wrong strategy that only leads to frustrations and the creation of distorted expectations. It is important to curb this way of thinking.
3. Confidence is lost
If you go back to the first bars of your affectionate relationships, you will probably realize that both you and your partner were able to trust unspeakable secrets. You explained how you felt in each moment, your past sorrows and your future longings. You formed a perfect fit, emotionally supported in a special and unique way.
If the relationship deteriorates and there is a couple crisis, this ability to communicate "from heart to heart" may be affected . A phase begins in which every time there are more misgivings at the time of opening up to the other. This can be caused by small quarrels. The wounds of distrust are difficult to cure, although it is not impossible ... but they require time and effort on the part of both members of the couple.
4. You stop doing activities in common
Relationships are, fundamentally, that set of shared moments in which affection and intimacy are expressed. If the amount of these moments decreases, the quality of the relationship also decreases.
And is that the simple fact of having spent many things together in the past does not make the love relationship persist. It is necessary to continue updating this accumulation of shared feelings and emotions through the new things that are being lived as a couple.
5. Mistrust and jealousy appear
Where there is jealousy, there are vulnerable points . Loving relationships are based, among other things, on trust, and that is why, no matter how many years they have become normalized, jealousy remains. After all, a courtship or marriage that is sustained only by constant vigilance and paranoia, is in any case an imitation of a loving bond, but not a story worthy of being lived with positivity and constructive encouragement.
6. Sexual encounters are becoming less frequent
It is not a symptom that must necessarily appear when we talk about a couple crisis ... but it is more usual for couples to consult people who have lost their passion and magic .
Why does this happen? During the infatuation phase, hormones are out of control and sex is frequent and of high quality. In more advanced phases of the relationship, routine, stress or monotony can affect the quality and quantity of sex we practice ... taking the situation to a vicious circle in which the intimacy of a couple is lost, so you can start to think of a spiral of distance and little affective bond.
7. Empathy is lost
It is one of the last stages: when both members of the couple (or at least one of them) are not able to put themselves in the other's shoes, it is possible that the commitment and the illusion are cracked definitively .
If the emotional relationships are based on something, it is on the understanding of the weaknesses and the needs of the other. When this ceases to exist, it is very difficult for a couple to endure, since the relationship of trust and emotional support ceases to exist. Restoring harmony and healthy attachment between both members of the couple is the challenge facing many couples who, despite the problems, want to continue sharing their lives. At other times, distance and separation will be the opportunity to start over again.