Do we know how to listen? Important aspects of active listening
A study confirms that most people are unable to actively listen to their interlocutor for more than 3 minutes in a row. On the other hand, Various surveys reveal that approximately 50% of the Spanish population feels lonely .
It is inevitable to think that there is a parallel between feeling of loneliness and isolation and a society that has not learned to listen.
Is hearing the same as listening?
The first thing we must do is make the difference between hearing and listening r . While hearing means simply receiving information through our auditory channels, listening implies intentionality. It implies an effort to attend to what the other person tells us, in an attempt to create an effective and empathetic communication.
What difficulties prevent us from listening actively?
Do we know how to listen attentively to our interlocutor? There are several reasons that can interfere with and detract from the active listening process. Some of them are the following.
1. Inability to tolerate silence
Most people feel discomfort when silences occur in a conversation, especially before strangers. That is why while the interlocutor speaks they think what they are going to say next, diminishing the attention towards the information that transmits in speaker so as not to have nothing to say immediately.
2. Judgments and comparisons
In many cases what makes listening difficult is a series of judgments that are issued in the thought that have nothing to do with what the speaker tries to expose (I like his shirt, the green color does not look good, it seems that he has gained weight , his hair is shorter than me, etc.).
3. Focus of attention
It consists of focusing attention only on one aspect of the conversation and keep thinking about it, ignoring the rest of the information issued by the speaker.
4. Having "the mind elsewhere"
It is one of the most common interferences. While the interlocutor speaks, the person begins to remember an event that happened the other day, to plan the dinner of the night or to think about the job interview that he has the next day, paying little or no attention to what the other person says. account.
5. Be waiting to please
This happens mostly in insecure people. They focus on thinking if their position is correct, if they are smiling enough, if the answers they are giving are the right ones, etc. Losing attention capacity and therefore quality in listening.
6. Continuous interruptions
There are certain people who for various reasons need to continually talk and be the center of attention in a conversation. That is why they continuously interrupt the speech of the speaker by contributing data from their own personal experience, taking the conversation to their field to be able to talk about themselves or issue advice.
7. Environmental distractions
Surely we have all felt the frustration of wanting to talk to someone who is continually looking at your mobile, your television or your computer screen. Environmental distractions make listening difficult, since attention is divided into several different stimuli.
Active listening to communicate better
Thus, If we want to learn to listen actively we must strive to reduce all these inferences and develop our attention capacity in the here and now.
Create a climate of respect where we understand that what the other person has to say is important, and deserves, therefore, that we put the five senses to it, just as we would like the people who listen to us to do.
"Listen, you will be wise. The beginning of wisdom is silence "-Pitágoras
