Do you consider yourself the gilí of your class? 4 reasons not to worry
Do you consider yourself the gilí of your class? Today we give you 4 reasons not to worry.
Bullying in class: what to do when others treat you badly
Bullying is a sadly current reality in the educational landscape. Today we will not focus on the motives in which these abusers appear, but on the reasons to maintain hope for those who suffer that Verbal or physical violence that, to say it in a less dramatic word, they can feel gilís and be victims of which in the future they will be social misfits.
In the psychology of delinquency, it is studied that adolescents who, as adults, will have problems of social adaptation survive in school and institute their lack of resources in social skills with two strategies. They are the following.
What do the thugs do to make you feel a 'gilí'?
1. Physically or verbally assault other kids
Their weaknesses (lack of communicative resources, a hostile family environment, low self-esteem) cause them to have to seek superiority with violence. The recipients of these aggressions do not have to follow any pattern other than not being part of their group. That can make you feel a gilí.
2. Meeting with individuals with the same shortcomings
The subjects that will have problems of adaptation of adults because of their weaknesses come together in the school and institute and form a hard core . If you are not part of a group they will try to hurt you by making you feel alone and apart. That can make you feel a gilí.
If you are one of those people who suffers the lack of social skills of violent subjects who attack to defend their insecurity, there are four reasons to maintain hope. It's a tough process, but you can stop suffering that harassment.
Because bullying is a real problem and suffer it does not make you a gilí , it only makes you a person who has to face an unjust, undeserved conflict that can help you be stronger. Here are four reasons why you should not lose hope.
Being a victim of bullying is not the end: reasons for optimism
Asking for help makes you stronger
One of the skills you learn over the years is to ask for help. A mature and confident person herself is not afraid to assume that she has a problem and that that problem may be affecting her or momentarily overcoming her. Do not be afraid to disappoint your environment or worry them. You are not responsible for what is happening and your environment is, precisely, for cases like these.
The social support network will help you in different directions. First, it will make you feel listened to and cared for, so the feeling of loneliness it will fade away little by little. They can also advise you on the path to follow to solve the problem or with which people to contact you.
Yes or yes, seek the support of adults, to be able to be family. Your experience and resources will help to find solutions to the conflict. If you do not find that support in your family, do not hesitate to find a person in charge of the center where you study.
Social skills can be developed
On many occasions the feeling of weakness in the face of conflicts is marked by a lack of social skills. To be successful at the social level, it is necessary to have those skills that help us manage conflicts or have social success that makes us avoid those conflicts. The good news is that those skills you can learn . The experiences themselves will help you improve them, but if you want to change and have them well developed, there is even better news.
Do not say what bothers you, that shyness prevents you from expressing yourself with freedom, the excessive fear of not fitting into the group, the wit to express yourself with humor ... Soft skills are learned , among other things, psychologists and coaches help develop these skills so that you can face your social life more safely.
Valued traits change over time
As we said, all the studies on Psychology of Delinquency and Antisocial Behavior show that children and adolescents with aggressive behavior or too dominant are those who will have problems of adaptation in the future.
During adolescence, strength, aggression and intolerance may seem the most valued traits. But in a few years, in the adult society that rewards the values of sensitivity, intelligence, empathy, ingenuity, originality ... Your traits that during adolescence may seem a weakness will become some of your main assets.
Everything that now makes you feel different will turn in your favor and will be consolidated as a pillar of your social identity. Do not be afraid to be different . They try to look alike among themselves because they are afraid to be themselves. You are you. And that makes you very lucky.
What today seems irreversible tomorrow will be a memory
When we are in the middle of a conflict or a problem, continued anxiety activates our metabolism and we secrete hormones at a very high rate. Our brain works double or triple what it should work. That feeling of activation causes us a focus on the problems and we believe that our life will always be like this.
Well, when you turn your birthday you will realize that throughout our lives we are faced with hundreds of situations that we believe are definitive ... and then they are not so. When you leave it with a partner, you change jobs ... we always believe that this change is final. And then it becomes a memory more. Life is constantly changing and dozens of very positive chapters await you. Trust that they will arrive.