Emotionally mature people: 6 traits that define them
Although there is much talk about the distinction between mature people and immature people , the practice does not usually know very well what we are referring to. We intuit that it has something to do with whether or not we have taken the step towards adulthood, but there is a lot of controversy about exactly what it means to mature.
For example, someone may think that maturity is reached by entering a state in which we learn to get rid of things and see everything from a certain distance, while for others, it means to begin to commit to the world and set aside individualism and selfishness. In short, each person identifies maturity with the ethical horizon to which they aspire one day.
In addition, in most conversations about it, it is not very clear that behaving as adults is always the most desirable. Are there not aspects of childhood and adolescence that are highly valued? For example, spontaneity, curiosity or relative lack of prejudice are always seen as psychological aspects of the smallest we should imitate.
Can you find a conception of what they are emotionally mature people that is more consistent than we usually do when speaking? Actually, yes.
- Related article: "8 characteristics of immature people emotionally"
How are emotionally mature people?
Several investigations have shown that one of the features that distinguish mature people and young children is the delay of gratification, the ability to think about objectives that we want to meet in the medium or long term . For example, when you are very young it costs much more to refrain from reaching a candy and eat it even if you have informed us that if after a few minutes we have not been tempted we will receive many more prizes like that.
This is due, in part, to the way in which our nervous system matures: at first, the interconnections between neurons located in distant areas of the brain are relatively few, so we can only think in a non-abstract way, that is, , in little concrete goals and nothing significant beyond the immediate pleasure.
As we grow, the areas of the brain are connected more to each other by the white substance, so that it improves our ability to think abstractly and, with it, our propensity to take into account longer-term objectives and more large. However, even in adults there are individual differences between those who bet everything on the ephemeral and those who try to make their life based on something more transcendent.
From this information, it is possible to understand what emotional maturity really consists of how we relate to our goals and to other people. Approximately, emotionally mature people are like this:
1. Accept emotional commitments
It is not mandatory to make any affective relationship governed by the rules that characterize monogamy. However, emotionally mature people They try to ensure that their closest relationships are sustained by a series of commitments that will avoid situations of indirect emotional blackmail. The important thing for these people is to reject unilateralism.
2. They do not fear love
Emotionally mature people are able to not become obsessed with unfounded fears about what can happen in the long term, because they learn not to oversize the opportunity cost (what we are supposedly missing by doing what we are doing).
So, they do not fear the possibility of getting emotionally involved with someone. After all, have a complete, global and realistic vision about what will happen to us in the future It implies not idealizing or torturing yourself for not living things that very possibly would not have happened either.
- Maybe you're interested: "Mature love: why is the second love better than the first?"
3. They know how to express their priorities
A good part of what it means to know how to regulate one's emotions and desires when establishing priorities in life consists of know how to communicate to the rest in a consistent way what you want to do . Who really knows that his scale of values and what motivates him is something legitimate and worthy, does not hide it.
4. Value friendships for themselves, not as an instrument
For emotionally mature people, the bonds of friendship that bind them to others are something that deserves to be cultivated, investing in them time and effort.
This is because friendship is always something more than those punctual moments of chat and fun with friends, something that anyone can appreciate in a superficial way; they are projects that unfold over time and that, therefore, mean something. A friend can not be substituted .
Therefore, those who are mature stop investing time in relationships that do not mean anything, even if the environment presses to continue alongside certain people, and concentrate on those that do.
5. Face the emotional contradictions directly
Emotions are by definition irrational, and that is why they frequently come into contradiction with each other; It's something that also happens in mature people. What distinguishes the latter from the rest is that they face these situations directly, recognizing that they feel something complex, instead of acting as if the problem did not exist and try to direct attention to empty distractions. In this way, they are able to take the reins of the situation before, which means that they benefit in the long term.
6. Do not procrastinate
Procrastination, which is the tendency to leave for another day what can be done in the present, is common in many people. Emotionally mature people, by not giving in to immediate temptations if this harms them in the medium and long term , they do not let these situations get out of control and attend to their responsibilities and obligations when they play.