Fidelity: an old-fashioned word?
In spite of the new modalities of couple and the openness that society has shown towards the subject, infidelity continues to cause controversy . There are relationships ranging from the conservative, maintaining a single partner throughout his life, to those who agree to share their partner with more than five people.
Given this, you can see a rejection or acceptance depending on the culture in which the link was formed; However, nowadays there is a certain curiosity to try a new way of establishing rules within a couple relationship. Is the concept of fidelity outdated?
Monogamy and fidelity
Monogamy is a term that means "a union" , referring to both sexual and sentimental exclusivity, either with a person of the same sex or with one of the opposite sex.
Within monogamy too Variations arise from one couple to another , even more with the technological advance of the last years, where to maintain constant communication with another person through a social network, send or receive provocative photos, make "match" with someone within a geosocial application, etc. It can be considered infidelity.
Open relationships and Polyamory
There is a marked difference between open relationships and polyamory. The first concept tells us of a mutual agreement where casual sex with other people is allowed, as long as feelings are not involved, unlike polyamory, in which there is no sexual or sentimental exclusivity , having as a condition that both members of the relationship agree with it. In this way, an individual can maintain a sexual and affective relationship with more than one person.
Polyamory is common in some Islamic nations, where not only sexual and affective relationships with other people are allowed, but the fact that a man is married to several women simultaneously is also acceptable.
Why was he unfaithful?
As mentioned earlier, when thinking about the concept of "infidelity" we find a great variety of definitions , depending on the beliefs and the meaning that each person attributes to the word; therefore, one can not generalize believing that all people are unfaithful for the same reason or that they do it in the same way.
Although some research shows that the main cause of infidelity is looking for another person characteristics that the current couple does not satisfy, understand an act of infidelity, from the causes to know whether to forgive or not, depends on the meaning that was given to that word from the beginning of the relationship.
- Related article: "Is it possible to forgive an infidelity?"
Putting fidelity aside is not an easy task
The fact that an infidelity causes pain in the deceived person comes from the sense of possession that one has over the other, in which fidelity is synonymous with love and if the couple ceases to be "the property" of the other by becoming sexually or emotionally involved with someone else, then it breaks with the idea that one has about love; because monogamy is the phenomenon that, mainly in Western cultures, has been transmitted generation after generation as the correct and most socially accepted.
On the other hand, having betrayed a mutual agreement between the couple and continually lying to cover up the infidelity can be more painful than accepting a betrayal on time or knowing that either of the two members of the couple may be attracted to another person at any time .
Therefore, it is not a question of assuming that there is no faithful human being on earth and considering polygamy as something natural. It's about understanding that infidelity is a possibility and a risk that runs when being in a relationship . However, suffering and misunderstandings can be avoided if an assertive communication is maintained from the beginning, where each person expresses the expectations that they have of the relationship in question.