Guide to meet new people: sites, skills and advice
It is not a question of being more or less spontaneous, more or less shy or more or less extroverted. Meeting new people is not an easy task .
The art of communicating and enjoying the sympathy of other people is complex. Many of us want to have more friends, more people to trust, but the truth is that we rarely get to work to achieve it, because we believe it is a way of recognizing that we are quite alone in this life. Further, it seems that when we have reached a certain age the "normal" is that we already enjoy our gang of friends , but...
The definitive guide to meet new people
The truth is that all (or almost all) have this feeling that our social life is a bit stagnant . The circumstances by which we can notice that we do not have as many friends as we would like are varied: we have gone to live in a new city, we have had love relationships that have changed the landscape of our social life, we are too immersed in our work, we have used to having a minimum repertoire of colleagues, or simply because we enjoy hobbies a little lonely
You can have a thousand motivations to want to know more people. The key is to look for environments and situations in which you can engage in spontaneous and natural conversations with people who, for some reason, call you attention.
Sometimes, this type of social situations where everything plays to our advantage to meet people are not so easy to find. Not to mention that, every year we meet, it can be a little more complicated for us to make new friendships and open ourselves to the world. We need to put on our part: you must remove the shame, jump to the fore and leave your comfort zone.
To help you in this company to meet new people and give new colors to your vinea, we wanted to elaborate this practical guide . Here you will find places where you can make new friends, and also tips and communication techniques to make it much easier.Take a look at this post: "The 6 psychological keys to fall well to others"
Suitable places to meet people
When you look for places to meet new people, it is best to focus on those places where it is likely that you will meet the same people recurrently . Valid examples: a sports club, a gym or a cafeteria with a faithful parish. In this way, going frequently to a site will have more possibilities to interact with people who are familiar, and it will be easier to meet new people.
Anyway, never forget these tips:
- Create sympathetic and natural interactions . Think that it is not necessary (or recommended) that you act with stridency. It is much more advisable that you be prudent and pleasant, since you are going to see these people again on a daily basis.
- It's a good idea that the sites you choose are places to meet potential friends with hobbies, ideas and jobs with which you feel comfortable and identified . If, for example, you do not like football, it is a bad idea that you frequent a football club, because you will feel like an octopus in a garage.
- If you go to a birthday or an event, try to arrive a little before it starts , and so you can start to meet the attendees. If you arrive late, people will already have met and they will be talking in small groups, and it may be harder for you to introduce yourself to someone.
- Keep in mind that familiarity likes ; the more you know a person, the easier it is for you to like them. That is why it is important that you are habitual of some sites that allow you to be in contact with other people.
In short, everything is a matter of time and to open up a little to others. Not all interactions will come out as you expect, but little by little you will encourage good harmony with the people around you.Recommended reading: "The 10 basic communication skills"
More interesting places and places to meet people They are the following:
1. Attend a cooking course for beginners (or a course in English, or salsa ...)
If you sign up for something that you're passionate about, it's more than likely that you make new friends . Be careful, it is not convenient that you attend these classes with the sole intention of making new friends. Simply choose an activity that attracts you by itself, and once you're there it will be easier to connect with other people who like the same thing. Dance classes, languages, cooking, painting, crafts ... there are many facets in this life that are waiting for you to give them a chance.
If you sign up, let's say, to German classes, keep in mind that the other assistants can be very dedicated to the task and to the books, and not so much to engage in conversations with other assistants. To combat this, it is a good idea to introduce yourself a few minutes before each class, so you will have time to interact with other students and get to know them a little better.
2. Organize a party and invite friends and acquaintances
If you already have some friends near where you live, It's a great idea to organize a party in your own home . You can ask your friends to invite several of their co-workers or people with whom they get along, and it is very easy for you to connect with new people. Being the host is an added point!
3. Your neighbors also exist
Yes, at first glance it may seem unappetizing, but think again. If you know the people who live near you, you can start expanding your circle of friends easily . You just need to be nice and introduce yourself politely. Sure you will like them and, if you have more or less similar ages or hobbies, they will invite you any day to have a beer in your flat, or to go out to party ... who knows!
4. Sign up with an entity with which to develop your hobbies
We all have hobbies and activities that we would like to devote more time to. If you have a hobby, it is very likely that you are not alone in the world . Your job is to find an entity or organization with that same interest, and attend meetings that are made. If you are a fan of video games, pottery, climbing archery or diving, you will surely find people with that same passion and it will be very easy to start conversations and make plans with them.
5. NGOs and volunteering
If you want to help people with few resources, you can go to a volunteer center and carry out solidarity actions to improve the community. Not only is it a good thing to contribute to these altruistic causes, but it will allow you to meet people with good values, people willing to reach out and enjoy making new friendships. From there you can make friends for life.
6. Any place is good
Okay, we've talked about especially good places to meet people, but let's be clear: any place is conducive so that you can meet nice people and with whom to share good moments . The most important thing is that you are open to that possibility.
The skills that will allow you to meet new people
We've already been talking about where to meet people, but we have not had time yet to explain how our attitude should be if we want to open our social circle. We can all be more sociable, fun and launched, you just need to keep reading and apply these principles to your daily life.
1. It's okay to be nervous
Social skills experts often advise that when you address someone you do not know, you should look like a confident person. Let's start to destroy this myth. If for whatever reason you are not an ax of communication, you are not alone: 80 or 90% of the world's population also feel nervous when we talk to someone we do not know for the first time .
Absolutely nothing happens to be a little more nervous than normal. Keep in mind that your interlocutor is more likely to empathize with you if you notice that you are a little nervous, since it has all happened to us, and you will give the image of being honest and not wearing masks or impostures. Although good, that does not mean that you should speak dead of fear: go with ease, show yourself as you are and try to connect with the person with whom you are talking. A trick to dissipate the nervousness is to focus on what the other person says and does, so you will not be so aware of yourself.Let's delve into this: "The 10 tips to make a good first impression"
2. How to start? present yourself
Well, of course, you're not going to sing a couplet at the first moment of the interaction, right? Introducing jovial and carefree is a good way to break the ice . You can take advantage of this to politely ask the name of the person with whom you are speaking. At that time you will have a little confidence, but you need to try to be open and ask about what has encouraged you to engage in a conversation: "I love your dress, where did you buy it?", "You have very nice, am I wrong if I say you're from another city? "or even something more bland like" How was your day? "or" Why are you at this party? ".
The important thing is not the what, but the how. If you are nice and polite, any question is good to break the ice and continue to promote good weather . Of course, it is not a good idea to say that you want to make friends, because you can put the other person in a compromise, and you will be transmitting enough need. Just be nice and creative and the other person will want to keep getting to know you.Compulsory reading: "10 tricks to be more sociable and fun"
3.Some questions and ideas to build the conversation
But, how to keep interacting; What to say to that person you just met? It is best to opt for contextual comments, that refer to things that are happening in the environment in which you find yourself (how bad is the music of the party, how fun is the teacher of the next class, the opinion you both have about the place ...).
Some studies have shown that one of the best questions to start talking to someone is to ask their origin. That can trigger a lot of interest and comments. Think about it: we all want to explain our story to someone who wants to listen to it.More tricks and proposals: "25 questions to get to know a person better"
4. Be a good "listener"
Do you know what active listening is? It is important that you show that you are interested in the person with whom you are having a conversation , and that is done listening attentively.
Also, do not forget that we all like to be reinforced by our beliefs and flattered. Without going over and without being false, it is good to remind your interlocutor what you like about him or her. It is the simplest way to feel valued and comfortable.
5. What is it that connects you with your interlocutor?
If your objective is to have a pleasant and fruitful conversation, it is normal to ask questions and answer the answers of your interlocutor. At some point you will realize that you have something in common: a hobby, the soccer team that you follow, a television series that you both love, a television program that you can not stop laughing ... That is positive, and you can rely on these common points to deepen the conversation .
It is not necessary that you persist in looking for things in common at all costs, it is something that will arise quite naturally.
6. Say goodbye politely and keep in touch
If you have connected with the person you have met, you will feel good and notice that the words flow and good feelings. Take the opportunity to request the contact (mobile number, e-mail ...) and so you can contact him to see you another time.
Keep in mind that you are not friends yet and it is better that the "second meeting" be in a public place and to carry out some activity that motivates you both, or simply to drink something on a sunny terrace. So the other person will not feel pressured and will almost certainly accept.