How are the glasses from which you see reality?
Have you ever considered Why do people react differently to the same situation? ? Why do some of us face daily problems with a more positive attitude and others seem to have fallen on the world?
Imagine two co-workers who have to do a last minute project in a period of one week. One of them, thinks endlessly: Oh, I only have 7 days to do it! I will not be able to finish it, with the things that I have to do! "The second, on the contrary, states:" Fortunately I have a whole week ahead of me; so I'm going to plan the week to get better organized. "
How will each react? Are you going to experience the same emotion? The truth is that no. The emotional response of the first to this rumination of thought will be an answer of anxiety, before the assumed idea that "only has 7 days" and the fact of "everything that comes on top". For his part, the second will experience an emotion of calm, given the perception that he has "a whole week" and "has time to organize."
How is it possible that in the same situation each one reacts in a different way? The answer is in the glasses from which everyone sees their reality .
- Related article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)"
Everything depends on the perspective: the glasses with which we see reality
Although it may seem hard to believe, the way we feel about certain situations it does not depend on the nature of the event that occurs . When any event happens to us, the emotion that we experience depends on the interpretation that each one makes of the situation. According to the interpretation we give, this will trigger us to feel a certain way and, therefore, that our behavior tends to one direction or another.
Under this premise we then come to the conclusion that in our brain there is no direct reaction situation-emotion, but something very powerful intervenes that makes us feel one way or another: thought.
Situation - Thought - Emotion - Conduct
If the situation of both is the same, why do they have different emotions? The fact is very clear: our thoughts determine our emotions . The important thing is not "what happens to us", but what we think in each moment. Thought is prior to emotion and that thought is what makes us feel better or worse.
How can we control our emotions? What can we do to change the way we feel? The answer lies in learning to change the way we interpret events, that is, modify the internal discourse we have with ourselves.
Consider the following questions: "What am I thinking, is it really like that?", "Would everyone understand the same?", "What would the person I most admire think about that situation?", "And my best friend?"
What really marks a vital change in our life is when we move from reaction to action , when we really understand that what we feel depends, to a great extent, on what we think at each moment, and not on what happens to us. That is when we assume that, thanks to our thinking, we can control and provoke our emotions. We can be happy or unhappy, putting our brain to our advantage or, on the contrary, against us.
But now let's go a little beyond what we feel and go to the next level: our behavior. Which will have a better performance when working on the project? It is highly probable that the second.
The first response is anxiety and, as we know, anxiety blocks us, and leads us to enter a vicious circle of negative thoughts that sometimes even prevent us from taking action. The emotion of calm experienced by the second, perceiving that he has a whole week to work, is more adaptive, which will help you to deal with the project more effectively .
Therefore, our thoughts will not only determine the way we feel, but also also the way to behave before the situations of our life .
- You may be interested: "Why the philosophy of the" rich man's mentality "is perverse"
How to modify our perspective
An effective method to question our own thoughts is the Socratic dialogue. Let's continue with the previous example of the first boy: Oh, I only have a week to do it! I will not be able to finish it, with the things I have to do! "
- Scientific evidence (what evidence is there of not going to be able to do it in a week?).
- The probability that it is true (what is the probability that it is true?).
- Its utility (What is the use of thinking about it, what emotions do they generate for me?).
- Gravity (what is the worst that could happen if I really do not have time?).
Thus, we have to learn to identify our negative emotions when they actually appear , so that when we notice that alarm signal, stop for a moment and look for the thought that has led us to feel that certain way and, then, look for a more adaptive alternative of thought. It is not an easy task, because we are deeply rooted in our belief system and it requires practice and effort to modify it.
The lesson we must learn then is ... do not suffer in vain! We have the ability to convert our unpleasant emotions (such as anger or sadness) ... into more pleasant emotions (joy) and, as a consequence, to have a more adaptive behavior. The key is to change the glasses through which we see reality.
