How not to flirt: 11 things you should never do to try to seduce
How not to flirt? What are the most frequent mistakes when we try to seduce another person? The need, fear and lack of experience lead us to make mistakes that can make our appointments or our first encounters with girls not entirely fruitful or even total failures.
These errors lead us to "wrongly link": we do not connect with the other person .
How not to flirt: 11 things you should not do when it comes to seducing
Taking into account certain factors and trying to avoid them will minimize our chances of failure. Limiting our mistakes and being aware that certain attitudes are not valid will increase our chances of success and, as a result, will encourage us to have positive experiences that will motivate us to continue learning.
Next we will expose eleven errors that tend to be synonym of failure or that greatly limit our chances of success. How not to flirt?
1. Wanting to impress
Being too careful about wanting to impress the girl in front of us can be counterproductive. It is advisable that we relax and try to enjoy without the need to fall into the false spontaneity of doing or saying awesome things so that she feels attracted to us.
Unless the context is appropriate and certain behaviors are propitiated, we must act naturally and be calm and relaxed . Only in this framework can we get to impress without having the constant need to show anything to anyone.
2. Need to be admired
This point is closely linked to the first. Wanting to impress is a problem, but if afterwards we are awaiting the reaction of it and its approval or its impression, we will be transmitting a need image and lack of confidence in what we do. In our head, we always have to keep in mind that the only person we have to impress is ourselves. We do not need anyone's approval and less if it is excessive or required. We are not a little boy teaching a picture to our mother.
Besides, she does not need to be interested in what we do or stop doing. Let's do things because they really make us feel good and not to receive a feedback positive that betrays in others that we are demigods. Let's not fall into egocentrism.
3. Being a joker and not knowing when to get serious
One of the phrases that has done most damage to social relationships and seduction in particular, is that "girls like to make them laugh". We all like to be laughed at! Not us let's become buffoons They try to make them laugh at all costs.
There are times when we have to be serious and show that we are mature people who know how to behave in all kinds of contexts. The sense of humor must be reserved for the necessary moments. There is nothing less attractive than provoking embarrassment from an excess of "clown".
4. Be willing to like and look for indicators of interest
Obsessively looking for gestures or attitudes that reveal your interest in us will cause us to focus excessively on our perception and forget other important details for communication such as active listening. Also, being obsessed with finding immediate results will undermine our self-esteem and make us uncomfortable.
That will cause us to invest too much effort in adopting behaviors or attitudes in the hope that they will be rewarded and will project us as insecure or in need of approval. It is more beneficial to forget about us and focus on them feeling understood and liked with us .
5. Be aware of not wanting to make mistakes
We have to bear in mind that, many times, the art of communicating lies in forgetting oneself and focusing attention on the qualities of the other in order to communicate and qualify them appropriately. Judge us constantly for what we do and how our acts will be received by the other person will hinder our communication and plunge us into a state of counterproductive stress and anxiety so that the interaction flows harmoniously.
There are no absolute truths or totally wrong actions. Making a mistake will humanize us and will make us perceive ourselves as close and self-confident people who know how to relativize errors.
6. Hide your flaws
Before taking for granted that some attribute of ours can be called default , let's think about whether it is or not. Many times we usually think that we have defects that we do not really have or that can not always be considered defects, because context plays a very important role in communication. If after analyzing them we continue to believe that they are defects, we should think if they are defects that can be remedied or if they should be remedied.
It is true that certain disabilities or physical defects can not be remedied or can not be corrected at all.But there are many who do. For example, dieting is an effective way to combat that belly that makes us feel flabby. Another example: if we have a serious problem of acne we can go to a specialist to be able to end those undesirable grains that do not come out in the face. Whether or not our problem is solved, we can not allow this to affect our self esteem and, therefore, to our communication.
Treat our defect naturally and even joke about them will project us as safe people who are not afraid to show their weaknesses. Joking about our faults is the key to overcome shyness and that others do not detect unattractive insecurities in us.
7. Fear of being contrary
Changing your mind for fear of not liking is a mistake that we often make. Being accepted and not feeling rejected socially leads us to never want to take the opposite. Working with assertiveness will be very useful when communicating. Bear in mind that our opinions and attitudes are invaluable sources of information for our interlocutor. Falling always in the error of not wanting to offend or contradict and, therefore, adopt servile attitudes will make us lose the attraction and make us look like people without opinion or objectives: it is the abc how not to flirt
Our attitude also has to be evolutionary in relation to the other person; We must establish a framework in which two people are valued but not judged.
8. Idealize the other person
The romantic love It is one of the great evils of the 21st century. We live intoxicated by films and stories where we are shown a sweetened love and that makes us have learned the social relationships and the contexts of seduction, as if we lived in Romeo and Juliet. We do not live in a romantic novel. She has defects just like everyone else.
If we believe that the person before us is perfect and has no defects, we will fall into errors that we have already pointed out before, such as wanting to hide our faults, the need for approval ... Knowing how to observe and qualify the errors and virtues of the others, it will be an important key to avoid that we feel that the girl in front of us is the goddess Venus made a person.
9. Having unreal expectations
We have the social and communication skills we have. Being aware of this will help us not to fantasize exaggeratedly about what might happen. We have to have patience. As we get to know people and develop our skills we will feel more capable of achieving what we want .
It is a mistake to think that if a girl has smiled at us it is because she is tremendously in love with us and wants to make love to us in a glass bed, by the sea while the moon illuminates our naked bodies. If instead a girl smiles at us and we think she has done it because we have been funny or because maybe we are interested a bit, it will be more beneficial for our self-esteem and we will avoid major failures that make us fall into frustration and a consequent demotivation .
10. Do not sexualize
We have been chatting for more than three hours, everything is going great, we like the girl, we feel we like her, but there is a moment when she gets bored and the thing does not move forward. Maybe it's time to give a little boost to the interaction with some phrases that let us understand our sexual interest .
There are times when we become blind that things have to arise spontaneously and we forget that things can be born spontaneously in us but that, if we do not verbalize or express them, they will remain in us without anyone having any idea of that have emerged. Let us communicate our interest adequately and do not be afraid to show our sexual interest. Sex is good!
11. Sexualize too much
Insinuate yourself in excess and not stop making comments that indicate our sexual interest may bother the other person and we may be giving the message that we only have interest in one thing. We can fall into the error of appearing extremely needy or insecure people who are afraid that their interlocutor has not understood the message we have launched, and therefore, we repeat it ad nauseam: this is one of the keys on how not to link .
Let's measure our sexual interest and let's show it gradually and adequately so that we can move forward without the other person feeling forced or upset by so many spicy comments that often end up being in bad taste. In this case, let's look again at the context in which we are in order to adapt the intensity and the degree of insinuation.
In conclusion...
Let's not obsess with liking. We know how to be in all contexts of life. Let's like ourselves more to like others. We are mature people who face the obstacles of life in a mature and assertive way. Let's not become puppets at the mercy of a bit of alms in the form of sex. Let's be happy with what we are!
