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How to avoid uncomfortable silences when talking with someone, in 4 tricks

How to avoid uncomfortable silences when talking with someone, in 4 tricks

November 4, 2022

The human being is an incredible animal for the simple fact of having the power to converse; thanks to speech we can both cooperate and persuade or even defend our perception of the world, or simply meet people and seduce. However, and despite the fact that the range of possibilities offered by the art of the word is almost unlimited, there are situations in which none of that matters, because we block ourselves when trying to chat with someone.

The uncomfortable silences are situations that many want to avoid but that, incomprehensibly, appear again and again in the day to day of many people. However, by training in certain social skills, it is possible to master some simple tricks to avoid those uncomfortable silences . Let's see how to do it.


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Social skills to avoid uncomfortable silences

You are talking to a person with whom you had barely crossed a few words before, and everything is perfect: during the first minute, you realize that you have easily overcome that phase of uncertainty in which you must decide how to start the conversation, and At the moment everything seems to be on wheels. However, there comes a point at which the subject of which you speak apparently does not give more than itself, and that odious awkward silence appears. What has failed?

As we will see, there are different answers to the previous question. To explain it, we will see several strategies that help prevent these small relational problems. Of course, in all of them it is assumed that the conversation has already begun. If you are also interested in knowing how to start talking with someone with whom there is not much confidence, it is better that you go to this other article: "How to start a conversation with whomever you want, in 6 steps"


Without more, let's see what are the steps to follow to have fluent conversations and where naturalness prevails.

1. Emphasize positive aspects of the other

It may seem strange, but the flattery has a relation with the uncomfortable silences or, rather, with the absence of uncomfortable silences. And is that many times these "dead spots" of the conversation are due nothing more or less than that either we or our interlocutors have adopted an attitude to the defensive , something that on the other hand is frequent when you do not know much about the person with whom you speak. In the face of uncertainty, we unconsciously think that it is best not to expose vulnerabilities through what we say.

So that, Flattery is a simple and easy way to make a good part of those defenses crumble . The consequence of this is that the person who receives these positive evaluations pronounced aloud will open more, be explained more extensively, and at the same time make us feel more comfortable.


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2. Start conversations about something that interests the other

It is an easy way to avoid uncomfortable silences. On the one hand, allows you to skip those phases of formal conversation composed of topics that do not have to be of interest (time, work in general, etc.), and on the other, makes our interlocutors feel comfortable talking about something that excites them and about what they have many ideas. For example, you can talk about hobbies, about news in a field of interesting news, etc. Thus, it is unlikely that the answers are short.

3. Do not talk about fearing the breaks

One of the key aspects of uncomfortable silences is that, to come into being, almost any pause in the conversation must be interpreted as a "failure" a symptom that the people involved in the dialogue are not connecting. However, this does not have to occur; a pause can mean many other things .

For example, it is possible that in order to emphasize an affirmation, it is accompanied by a pause placed there deliberately, so that the strength of the response is enhanced and, consequently, that we have a very clear opinion about what is being said. is talking.

Many times, the uncomfortable silence appears when this happens and we are not able to draw attention to the expressive power of this fact: simply, we say a sentence and we are silent because we can not conceive another possible answer. However, in certain topics where one would expect different opinions from ours, the mere fact of having created that silence is in itself another topic of conversation, since gives a reason to explain why we are so sure of what we say .

In other cases, uncomfortable silence may occur because the other person responds briefly and briefly.In these cases, we can turn the situation around so that the interpretation emerges that this is a sign that the interlocutor is the one who is nervous and does not know how to continue talking.

In these situations, it is good to adopt an affable attitude and redirect the conversation, implying that we take away the responsibility of continuing to speak to the other person; A sign of goodwill: "Well, if I understand you correctly, it seems that you do not agree with the proposed reforms ...". Of course, this should be done if there really are reasons to think that the silence is partly due to the nerves of the other, and not simply because he does not want to continue talking.

4. Get used to your opinion without fear

Anyone will be willing to end a conversation if all we contribute to the dialogue is question after question. Interrogations are not liked by anyone , and they are the most propitious context so that they seem uncomfortable silences. The solution to this is simple: avoid asking questions all the time.

In practice, if what you say is interesting or expresses an original point of view, the effect of these contributions to the dialogue will be very similar to that of a question that is crying out to be answered. For example, if the other person talks about one of your hobbies and you talk about what you know about that activity by adding an opinion, the other person will feel called to position themselves before that class of affirmations.


In short, we must bear in mind that questions are not the only tool to get the other person to speak and, sometimes, they are just the opposite: something that leads our interlocutors to decide to stop talking.


How to Avoid Awkward Silence | 5 Best Tips (November 2022).


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