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How to be a great negotiator, in 10 psychological keys

How to be a great negotiator, in 10 psychological keys

May 24, 2022

Human beings are social beings, so we have to live with other people to achieve emotional balance and mental and material well-being. This means that we can not always do what we want to do, but in different situations of everyday life, either with our partner or our friends, we often have to negotiate to reach formal and informal agreements .

In fact, knowing how to negotiate with your partner is one of the keys for a relationship to work, because the relationship is a matter of two, and each one has its own needs.

Another scenario in which we usually have constant negotiations is, for example, the work environment . We may have to negotiate a work contract or solve a labor dispute. In fact, there are professional negotiators who are dedicated to that.


How to be a good negotiator

But regardless of whether it's in everyday life or at work, What do we need to be good negotiators? How does a good negotiator behave?

Below you can find 10 psychological keys to achieve it.

1. Listen actively

Listening is as important as talking. But, on many occasions, we hear more than we listen. Especially in a negotiation, it is imperative pay attention to the complete communication on the other side of the negotiating table .

This includes not only verbal language, but nonverbal language is equally important. It is crucial that you recognize what others really want, and not just what they express in words. This is essential whether we are negotiating, for example, a workers' agreement, or if we have discussed with our partner and we want to know their real needs.


  • If you want to know more about how to listen actively, you can read our article: "Active listening: the key to communicate with others"

2. You must be assertive

Being assertive is one of the great qualities of a negotiator. This term refers to expressing your opinion correctly while defend your point of view and, at the same time, respect the rights of others . It is a form of non-invasive communication, in which you feel sure of what you offer, always within the framework of cordiality and tolerance towards the opinions of others.

  • Related article: "Assertive people: 10 characteristics they have in common"

3. Self confidence

Good negotiators trust in themselves and are not afraid to show themselves this way.

If what we want is to convince the other person that our point of view makes a lot of sense, we must do so with determination and making the message reach the other person who believes in what we say.


Trusting yourself allows you to hear what the other person means, because, if you are insecure, you will be on the defensive . People who do not trust themselves will give in to the first exchange, because they have great difficulty in showing their point of view and saying "no."

4. Do not expect to get everything you want

You must be clear that it is a negotiation and that, in many cases, you will not achieve everything you set out to do. You must learn to give in because the other person (or people) also have their needs. Is about get to a point where both parties are going to improve in some way .

5. Do not give in without receiving anything in return

Do not expect to get everything you want it does not mean you have to give in constantly without achieving anything in return , because you will be sending a message to the other actor of the negotiation that you really do not trust what you offer, which may cause you to demand even more.

You have to assert yourself and if you want to change something of what you propose, you win something too.

6. Dominate persuasion

Persuasion is an essential capacity to be a negotiator, and it is the ability we have to convince to other individuals to do something they did not plan to do. Persuasion is an art, and there are different techniques that you can apply in the negotiating environment.

  • Take a look at this article: "The 10 most effective persuasion techniques"

7. Show yourself optimistic and open

In a negotiation you must be optimistic and open. Although there are moments of tension, you should never lose your nerves. An open attitude, generally, will be beneficial . If on the contrary you notice that the atmosphere is very tense, it is better to stop the negotiation a few minutes, take a little air, and come back with a renewed attitude.

8. You must be empathetic

Empathy is the ability to put ourselves on the other's feet and understand their needs. Without a doubt, this is a quality that every negotiator must possess.Empathy also helps us regulate our own behavior and adapt it to the situation and the interlocutor with whom we negotiate.

  • Related text: "Are you empathic? 10 typical features of empathic people"

9. Do not take it to the personal land

You must not forget that in a negotiation each one will ask what interests him most and, sometimes, can clash with your vision or way of doing things . Each individual has different tastes and needs, you should not take it as an attack on your person.

10. Take your time and control your emotions

Negotiating is not always easy and, sometimes, there may be trouble spots that must be dealt with delicately. . It is important that you know and that you have patience. Human beings are emotional beings, but in a negotiation we must keep a cool head and not lose sight of our objectives.


8 Best Psychological Negotiation Tactics and Strategies - How to Haggle (May 2022).


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