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How to be myself and not be afraid of one's identity

How to be myself and not be afraid of one's identity

July 14, 2024

Many of the problems that generate psychological discomfort suffered by people in Western countries have to do with attempts to pass us off as those we are not. Social pressure, which leads us to try to offer an idealized image of ourselves, completely hinders any attempt to behave spontaneously and true to one's identity.

That's why, although it sounds paradoxical, many people ask themselves ... How to be myself? Let's see several tips to lose the bad habit of hiding between layers of a personality that is not ours.

  • Related article: "The main theories of personality"

How to be myself and bet on my own identity

Even though society is a place of cooperation, it is also true that these links of collaboration and mutual benefit are not always very clear and the threat of breaking them always haunts.


Maybe that's why we're always so worried about what they'll say ; In an environment in which our old allies can be our enemies in the present, our personal image has a lot of value, since it is something that defines us as individuals and that does not depend on anyone but us.

As a consequence, we try to create a public version of ourselves that can please others, leaving aside, in part, if that forces us to adopt certain impostures in our habits and in the way of relating that we usually adopt. In the next few lines we will see how this mentality can be fought to sacrifice everything for that idealized image and how to be yourself embracing your own identity .


1. Reencounter with your hobbies

We must let our hobbies and physical and intellectual interests develop. The activities that occupy us a lot of time should not obey mainly what others expect from us.

Otherwise, we will be wasting a lot of potential . Not only because we could be very good at something if we gain experience in it, but because these activities done for pleasure, although it may not seem like it, can enrich us a lot culturally, but we will not gain so much if they are hobbies that we are not excited about and that we carry out by pure commitment .

2. Surround yourself with the people you feel comfortable with

Being constantly surrounded by people who judge us negatively at the slightest stridency on our part is a bad decision, given that, whether we realize it or not, that shapes us at the mercy of their expectations.


It is better to go to meet open minded people, able to accept an idea as simple as the following: it is not necessary that everyone is cut by the same pattern .

Of course, we must ensure that this type of comfortable friendships do not end up becoming social circles in which everyone thinks the same and holds the same vision of things. That not only is not intellectually stimulating: it makes us less reasonable.

3. Accept your contradictions

Nobody has a completely consistent and defined personality . The ambiguities and uncertainty is what makes us not entirely predictable. It is inevitable that certain situations produce tensions in us, that make us doubt about which option best represents us, and that we regret certain past decisions. That does not nullify the fact that we can behave in an authentic way, being true to ourselves.

4. Embrace assertive communication

If we constantly hide what we want and what interests us, that will end up enslaving us. There is no point in being yourself when there is no one watching ; you have to bet on authenticity practically always.

  • Maybe you're interested: "Assertiveness: 5 basic habits to improve communication"

5. Value honesty

Being frank with others may cost at first, but it usually generates a chain effect; It facilitates that those around us are also honest with us. For that reason, betting on honesty generates spaces in which it is much easier to be oneself, and in the long run that leads us to be authentic almost without realizing that we are breaking all kinds of limits that in the past came to ballast our way of socializing with others.

6. Demystify others

To stop trying to be idealized by others, we must stop idealizing them; no one deserves to make all kinds of sacrifices simply to please them .

Getting it is partly a matter of working self-esteem and realizing that we too, if we wanted, would be able to judge others negatively for all kinds of arbitrary reasons if we wanted to, but we can realize that that does not make any sense and that, therefore, someone who does that with us obeys a poor criterion of how people are.

Bibliographic references:

  • Ellis, A. (2001).Feeling better, getting better, staying better. Impact Publishers
  • Olsen, J. M .; Breckler, S. J .; Wiggins, E. C. (2008). Social Psychology Alive. Toronto: Thomson Nelson.

Tony Robbins: Feeling Lost? How to Find Yourself Again ( Tony Robbins Passion ) (July 2024).


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