How to change your personality: 8 tips
It is normal and relatively frequent for people to seek to improve themselves and improve their way of being. However, sometimes the change sought is very deep, structural. It is the case of those who consider changing their personality completely. Is it possible to become a very different person than what has always been?
In this article we will see some tips and recommendations about How to change your personality through the introduction of different habits in your day to day .
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How to change your personality
Personality is by definition something that is maintained over time, which tends to be constant. In particular, it is the set of psychological dispositions that orient us towards certain behavioral dynamics and not others, and is based on a genetic component and a learned one, which is born of experience.
However, as it happens with most psychological phenomena, personality is not an element imposed on us in a deterministic way , but we can influence it in surprising ways. It is practically impossible to give it a total turn and to become something in which absolutely nothing is not noticed of what we once were, but radical changes are possible with effort and time.
So, to change your personality follow these tips.
1. Specify your objectives
The goal of "changing my personality" is too abstract, too ambiguous. If you do not divide it into different specific objectives, you will lose yourself in vagueness and will not make significant advances .
Therefore, write down on a sheet of paper what are the aspects of your way of being that you would like to change, making a filtering of priorities, and focus on it. After all, it is absurd to propose to change completely in all aspects of one's personality; It is necessary to point to those areas that give problems or that are perceived as weaknesses.
2. Create the commitment
Every time we set ourselves an ambitious goal that demands effort, it is good to make sure that we are totally committed to it. One way to do this is to talk with other people, in order to create expectations and have more reasons not to give up.
Generating this kind of self-obligations is very positive to reach goals and not throw in the towel, even though apparently it seems that limits our freedom.
3. Distracted from your previous failures
On many occasions, one of the obstacles that make it difficult for someone to modify their personality better is the fact that they fall into the trap of believing that they will fall again and again into the type of failures in which they fell in the past.
It is true that we all have weaknesses that characterize us, but that does not mean that we can not arm ourselves against this kind of mistakes. With enough effort and learning, we can get to develop extraordinary skills . Even if we do not, this simple thought helps to stop being afraid of those aspects of life that have never been given to us completely well, which serves to make us stop being so vulnerable to them.
4. Resignation to what they will say
Your changes in personal development should only concern you. It is clear that people always have reasons to speak behind one's back and to criticize, but precisely for that reason what others think should not obsess us; Nobody knows us as well as we know ourselves, and that is the reason why the vast majority of moral judgments and judgments that we receive from others have no value.
Being aware of this, and that everyone has the same weaknesses that we are capable of hating ourselves on certain occasions, helps put things in perspective and do not feel condemned to always be the same : around us people change radically for good and for bad, and we can do the same. The question is to guide this change so that it is for the good.
- Maybe you're interested: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you"
5. Surround yourself with the people who inspire you
Much of the learning occurs spontaneously by the simple fact of surrounding ourselves with those who give us reasons to improve and contents to work on to become better.
If we avoid falling into the trap of constantly comparing ourselves with those we consider the best, we will begin to absorb and adapt to our way of being those elements that we consider positive : have more patience, learn to listen and put ourselves in the shoes of others, be more creative by not ruling out the most bizarre ideas, etc.
6. Do not assume your own identity, modify what you already have
It is important not to cover yourself with tics that define the personality of others, but to develop our own version of what we want to become.For example, if we want to work on self-esteem to trust more in our abilities, we should not use the expressions or the body language of another person in an imposed way, but look at what we usually do and make corrections.
Fixing yourself is an essential element to change your own personality , since you have to work with what you have; to show that we are a blank page will only generate frustration.
7. Introduce small changes in the day to day
Spend some time each day to look at what you do and correct it on the fly to reach the desired goal. The rest of the day, do not worry about it. In this way you will do a job intensively, while later you will not have to work on it and you will be able to recover (which prevents you from stressing too much).
Slowly, the repetition of those moments in which you strive to change will make them automate , and you will be able to expand little by little the temporary window that you dedicate to develop an improved personality.
8. Counts with the help of psychologists
If necessary, psychologists can help you through psychotherapy. Professional accompaniment is usually very useful to find new strategies to improve and detect errors that had gone unnoticed.
- Corr, Philip J .; Matthews, Gerald (2009). The Cambridge handbook of personality psychology (1. publ. Ed.). Cambridge, U.K .: Cambridge University Press.
- González, José (1987). Psychology of the personality. Madrid: New Library.