How to communicate better with our family: 5 tips
The family environment is fundamentally based on the way in which family members relate to each other. That is why communicating well or badly within this group can make the difference between creating solid and functional affective bonds, or constantly experiencing disputes, fights and loneliness.
In this article we will see several guidelines to know how to communicate better with our family . Keep in mind, however, that you will have to implement these steps in your day to day; with doing it a few times, it does not work.
- Related article: "The 8 types of family conflicts and how to manage them"
How to communicate well with the family
As much as the members of a family spend time together, that does not mean that they manage the communication between them in an appropriate way. In fact, in some cases the communicative problems are encysting and the passage of time only aggravates them due to the inertia they bring.
In the event that you do not spend much time with the family, it is very possible that the main problem of communication with the family has to do with isolation, that is, the fact of practically never interacting with these people, or doing so very little and through digital media.
Whether you live in the same home as the rest of the family or not, well, the passage of time does not have to fix anything. That is why it is important to take the reins of the situation and take care of the way we communicate with parents, grandparents, uncles, brothers ... Create a point and separate and promote a change for the better can make both the coexistence and the expression of affection benefit from it almost instantly.
Follow these tips to qualitatively change the way relationships between family members develop.
1. Do not take anything for granted
The fact that we have spent a lot of time with our families can create the illusion that we know what each member thinks. Therefore, sometimes the communicative blockade between two people of the same blood is due to a misunderstanding.
The idea that we know so much a person that we do not need to inquire into how he feels can get to do a lot of damage in close relationships . Humans are complex beings, and that's why our behavior is not always predictable.
- Related article: "Assertive communication: how to express oneself clearly"
2. Break the routine with a conciliatory gesture
A small detail of symbolic nature can make the brother, uncle or grandfather with whom we want to improve communication realize that something has changed and stop taking for granted that the interaction with us will be governed by the same rules of forever.
For example, slap on the back or offer something to drink, depending on what the relationship has been like before, may be something new, however insignificant it may seem. Given these acts, it is easier to start from scratch and facilitate the possibility of establishing a more fluent and honest communication . Exactly of this last one treats the following guideline to follow.
3. Make honesty your "guiding" value
From the moment you decide to improve communication with your family, it is important to make clear that honesty becomes a priority in interactions with these people who have seen you grow. The reason is simple: if not, the value given to these communication initiatives will be very low, since the family context is one in which greater sincerity and openness are expected . To connect better with family members it is necessary not to try to hide our vulnerabilities at all costs.
Not being totally transparent at work or before people who have just met is not frowned upon, but family, by definition, is the place where the personal is shared almost everything about oneself.
4. Put efforts in listening
Active listening is a fundamental element in any communicative process, and those that are carried out within the family are not an exception to this norm. Sometimes, we tend to fall into the trap of the simple fact that the person who listens theoretically does not need to talk or move, can completely disconnect from their environment to direct their attention to anything.
This can become a habit that kills any attempt to communicate, because the dialogues in which only one puts on their side do not like anyone and serve as "punishment" for having tried to start a conversation.
So that, When the other person speaks, keep quiet and do not interrupt , but signs that you follow the thread of what is said and what interests you, ready to provide an extra when it is your turn to speak to you.Look in the eyes is essential (if it costs you, try not just to look away from the face of another, or lower your eyesight, and eye contact will establish spontaneously), as well as nod from time to time, make very short comments on the fly, etc.
- Maybe you're interested: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others"
5. Show that you do not judge
The members of a family know each other in a much more intimate way than the rest of the people know each other. Therefore, it is good to remember that those imperfections of others that we recognize they are a reflection of the human character of a relative , and something that in other people is usually hidden.
Therefore, it is convenient not to establish unfair comparisons: if a brother, a mother or a cousin are imperfect, it is because we have more opportunities to know them than the rest, not because they are necessarily worse.
