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How to control emotions, with 11 effective strategies

How to control emotions, with 11 effective strategies

July 19, 2024

Emotional control (or emotional regulation) is essential when we relate to other people, and it is a skill that is part of emotional intelligence.

Therefore, the control of emotions is included within emotional management, and to regulate them it is necessary to understand them, understand them and make them conscious . It is impossible to control emotions if we do not master the ability of emotional self-knowledge.

Emotional intelligence: a paradigm of current psychology

Emotions are part of us, and in spite of being necessary and adaptive, they can cause us suffering . Suffering is often caused by the negative assessment we make of these, because trying to fight against them is not a wise decision. It is much healthier to understand them, to know them, to know that they are there, but to accept them as part of our existence and our experience, knowing that often they are not as we would like them to be.

Emotional intelligence has become one of the most important paradigms of modern psychology, because after all, we are emotional beings. Although we think that we make our decisions thanks to reason, studies indicate that a large part of our decisions are emotional.

How to improve emotional control

Most of the success and the rise of emotional intelligence (EI), is determined by its benefits . EI is used in different areas: sports, education and business, because it positively affects performance, decision-making and the achievement of results. But in the clinical and psychotherapeutic field it is also essential, because it helps us to relate to others and to improve our psychological well-being and our quality of life.

If you want to know how to improve emotional control, below you can find 11 strategies really useful to increase the knowledge of this important skill.

1. Understand your emotions

Take some time to reflect on what you feel and why you react in a certain way in some situations. You may be worried about how you have behaved at work this week, when yelling at a partner, and now you regret it. Maybe the problem was not so serious, but it just got out of hand for not stopping a moment to think about the real problem. Equally the underlying problem is that you feel stressed at work because you do not manage time well.

A strategy to understand your emotions is to have an emotional diary. To use it, you only need to sit in front of it, 10 or 20 minutes before going to bed. You can review the day and write down how you felt, why you felt that way and what you could have done to improve it. Maybe the next time you find yourself in this situation you have already learned not to behave in this way.

2. Practice active listening

It can also happen that you have just got angry because you have not listened properly, in other words, you have just heard. Many people have the habit of paying little attention to others, and while they are talking, they are already thinking about what they want to say.

Active listening is important to relate to other people, because allows to pay attention not only to what other speakers say with their words , but also with what they express with their body language. In fact, scientific studies claim that verbal language represents only 30% of what we communicate. The rest is non-verbal language.

3. Get physical exercise

Physical exercise is a good way to relieve stress and release tension that can cause us frustrating and tense situations. Something that is not positive at all for emotional control. In addition, physical exercise helps us to release related neurochemicals in positive mood, such as endorphins or serotonin. Therefore, their practice also has a positive effect on our self-esteem.

4. Do not take criticism badly

Learn to fit the criticisms because they can make you lose your papers and unleash your anger . Being too aware of what others say about you is a sign that you do not have enough self-confidence and have not found the inner peace necessary to control emotions. So iron out the matter when you receive criticism, at least if you want to be an emotionally balanced person.

5. Work self-acceptance

One of the big problems of not accepting yourself as you are , is that you adopt a defensive mentality, nothing beneficial for emotional control. We can all make mistakes because it is part of life, so you must love yourself as you are. This way you will feel less frustrated and have more patience when dealing with conflicts that may appear in your daily interpersonal relationships.

6. Adopt an optimistic attitude

In addition to working on your self-acceptance, you must have a positive attitude towards life, which will make you more resistant and less prone to interpersonal conflicts. Both for self-acceptance and to have a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, it is necessary to have the will , that is, put on your part to make this happen.

7. Think of the good and not the bad

The discomfort that makes us feel some emotions is what causes us to want to avoid them. However, to solve the problems you have to face them, because it is useless to look the other way. If you have worked on emotional self-knowledge and self-acceptance, you must let these negative emotions pass. Now you have to focus on the positive, and your level of tension will be greatly reduced .

8. Retire at the right time

It is good to have a positive attitude towards conflicts and think about the good, although sometimes, the stimulus may remain present no matter how hard we try to avoid it, because this does not always depend on us. For example, if they provoke us to Let's end up fighting. In these cases, it is best to turn around and leave .

9. No sudden reactions

You may have detected that the conflict is on the surface and within you there is a force that impels you to step forward without caring about the consequences of that moment (although later you may repent). Have a little patience, take a deep breath and do not react suddenly . If necessary, leave the room, take a breath and come back with a clear and renewed mind.


10. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a millenary practice that enjoys great popularity at present because of its benefits: it improves concentration, reduces stress, improves self-awareness, etc. This method helps you to be in the present moment, with a non-judgmental mentality and with an attitude of compassion towards yourself and others. Undoubtedly, a very important tool to control emotions.

Go to Emotional Intelligence courses

If you are interested in attending an Emotional Intelligence workshop, the Mensalus Institute offers the possibility of conducting trainings that will help you develop the skills and abilities to become an emotionally intelligent person . This center of psychotherapy and training in Psychology imparts these workshops both in person and remotely, so you can do them from anywhere in the world, in the comfort of your own home (or the place you want).

Specifically, the "Online Course on Emotional Intelligence Training" allows you to know and implement key strategies for the management of thoughts and emotions.This option facilitates living an experience similar to face-to-face training but with the advantages offered by training You will have a tutor who will carry out a follow-up of the practical tasks that you have to elaborate and the different webinars that you can take part in. This training action has its beginning on February 5, 2018, costs € 380 and lasts 10 weeks (the material will be available in the virtual campus up to 8 weeks after the end of the course.) For more information, you can contact Instituto Mensalus through this link.

How to control emotion and influence behavior | Dawn Goldworm | TEDxEast (July 2024).

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