How to face death: 4 keys to keep in mind
Plato said that by learning to die you learn to live better. And, if we think about it, this thinker did not lack a reason: the idea of dying is a background noise that accompanies us throughout life and that we have to know how to manage. Sometimes, we avoid dealing with the discomfort that this reality produces, and we choose simply not to think about it. But there comes a time when it is necessary to ask the question: How to face death?
In this article we will review some reflections and useful psychological keys to know how to coexist with the idea that one day both we and our loved ones will disappear.
- Related article: "The role of Psychology in irreversible processes: 5 attitudes towards death"
Several keys to know how to face death
The fear of death is, as far as is known, a universal phenomenon . It is present in all the cultures that have been studied and, interestingly, not saved from it or people with stronger religious beliefs. In fact, recent research has shown that Buddhist monks living in monasteries have a greater fear of death than the average, although theoretically the doctrine they follow leads them not to focus on the "I" and therefore to not worry about his own disappearance.
Now, it is practically impossible to value death positively it does not mean that we should resign ourselves to suffer for this to unsuspected limits. There are several ways to make the negative impact of the end of life muffled, and all of them go through acceptance. Let's see it
1. Do not take life as a fight
It has been criticizing for a long time that we refer to having cancer as a "fight" against the disease. This is so because thinking in these terms leads to assume a frame of reference according to which those who survive are the strong, and who perish are the weak: they have not been able to overcome and have lost a battle.
The same can apply to any cause of death, including death from natural causes. As human beings we have no capacity to voluntarily control all the biological processes necessary to keep us alive; it is something that simply escapes our interests, and therefore no matter how hard we try, we can not stop the end of life from reaching us .
2. Assume that the normal thing is not to live
Because of our tendency to build a strong sense of identity formed by the autobiographical memory of each one, we assume that the normal thing is to exist, to be able to look from one to the other to the same nature that will continue to be there for hundreds of millions of years. years. However, this is an illusion, and on the other hand It is one of the things that leads us to suffer the most when the idea of death approaches us .
If we believe that by default we ourselves are in the category of "what exists", the end of our going is something that will undermine the foundations of all our beliefs. Not only will we have to face the fear of suffering physically; In addition, it can lead us to an existential crisis.
Therefore, it is necessary to assume that our consciousness and sense of identity are only fragile realities mounted on a complex network of bodily processes that do not always have to work.
3. Close our personal history, but not entirely
In the death process, there is a paradox: it is good that those who are going to die go through phases of farewell, if it can be as much of their loved ones as of places and objects for which they feel attachment. However, at the same time it is good that you do not just wait for death. Absolute inactivity leads to rumination and obsessive thoughts, and in this way the anxiety is always very high.
It is good to feel that there is always something to do, to the extent of the possibilities of oneself. That means that it is not even necessary to have a good degree of mobility. If you want, you can find things to do. Of course, no one should insist that a sick person do things simply by following this principle; it is oneself who must choose.
4. Know the nature of fear
By definition, nobody suffers from being dead. What produces discomfort is both the perspective of ceasing to exist and of feeling physical suffering, on the one hand, as the emotional pain that the death of one's loved ones produces on the other. Much of what it means to perish has to do with how we experience the death of others, something that in most cases makes us feel very bad.
However, in regard to the death of oneself, death does not even have to come with physical suffering. Its effect on us It may be the same as losing consciousness , something that happens every night when we start sleeping. Many people suffer more from experiences that come out alive than from their own death.We must assume that the emotions to be managed are related more to the communitarian experience of death, and to the fact of being the person who is at the center of the ritual of mourning for others.
