How to forget an impossible love, in 5 steps

March 30, 2024

Experiencing impossible love is one of the most frustrating and painful sensations by which the human being can pass. If corresponded love can make you tremendously happy, impossible love can turn your life into a real ordeal, especially if you meet that person often, whether at work or in the gym.

The pain of an impossible love can be so strong that it can lead you to a depressed state if you do not change a series of habits that are detrimental to your emotional balance. In this article you can find some tips to overcome the impossible love and get out of this situation so harmful.

The chemistry of falling in love

Falling in love is a complex phenomenon in which both biological and cultural variables are present . When we feel attracted to someone, our brain changes and a series of chemical reactions take place inside it, especially in the area of reinforcement, which causes us to change our perception of the world. The chemistry of love or falling in love alienates us, kidnaps our attention, makes us obsessive and can get depressed if we can not consummate this feeling or strong impulse, being able to turn our life into a real hell.

The consummate love makes us feel good because it causes our brain to release dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin among other neurotransmitters and hormones, that's why we feel excited, full of energy and our perception of life is great when we are with our partner.

But when it is not possible to have that person with whom we want to be with us, the chemical cascade descends and causes serious problems for our emotional stability. For example, serotonin levels decay, which is associated with depressive and obsessive behaviors, as occurs when we stop using a drug to which we are addicted.

To learn more: "The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug."

The Romeo and Juliet Effect

It would be perfect if we fell in love and simply let our heart free rein , because consummate love makes us live unforgettable moments. Unfortunately, relationships are not always so simple and, in some cases, conflicts can cause us to end the loving commitment we had with what we considered to be the most important person in our lives.

At other times, love is simply impossible because the other party has a partner or is going to live at the other end of the world, which makes this love unfeasible and unworkable. The truth is that, regardless of the reason, impossible love can hurt us if we do not adopt a series of strategies that allow us to face this situation in the best possible way.

Experts say that when we feel the feeling of falling in love and we can not be with that person, what happens is called "Romeo and Juliet Effect", and far from vanishing, the feelings of desire, impulse and need to be with the loved one are increase It is what is also known as "attraction for frustration", and that's why secret loves are so successful. Apparently, The Romeo and Juliet Effect causes the secrecy of a relationship to act as an aphrodisiac .

Tips to overcome an impossible love

And is that the lack of love is not a linear process, but there are ups and downs. You can feel better for a week, but when you see that person or have contact with him or her again, you fall apart again. Impossible love can be a painful situation and, therefore, can negatively affect your well-being and your mental health.

Surely you ask yourself: "And what can I do in these cases?" You will find the answer to this question if you keep reading the following lines, where delves into a series of tips to overcome impossible love . So pay attention, because your emotional stability is at stake.

1. Get away

In any process of lovelessness, if what you want to forget, it is necessary to stop having contact with your love object . Every time you see that person (or remember him) your brain circuit of the reinforcement is activated, which again elicits the neurochemical cascade of falling in love.

Actually, love acts almost like a drug, which means that it makes us all the time tend to detect aspects of the present that remind us of that person, although apparently they have nothing to do with it. Many things that we perceive refer us to those memories, based on real or imagined events, and in that way We started to get frustrated by not being able to go back to those times in which we did not experience the pain of loss. So, you have to fight against this vicious circle by avoiding "exposure" to that person.

That does not mean that you can not see her again, but it is necessary that the brain circuit weakens, and for this it is necessary that a more or less long time passes until it happens.The time required depends on many factors: your self-esteem, the social support you have, the past experiences you have had, etc. So be patient, because it can go long, although the degree of serenity that is achieved makes it compensate.

2. Accept it

This kind of love is, as the name suggests, impossible . It is not easy to accept, but although this affirmation sounds hard, this is part of life. Surely you can not avoid that impossible love hurts you, but what does depend on you is your attitude towards this phenomenon and the time you want to remain anchored to suffering. To continue and overcome it, you have to accept it, otherwise you will only be avoiding reality.

3. Tell someone

If you feel that you are having difficulty in overcoming it and that the pain has taken over your life, you do not have to guard it for yourself. Obviously you should not go singing it to the four winds , but you can tell a good friend to give you his support and be there for you in the most delicate moments. This will help you release some of the pain and allow you to have someone to trust.

4. Go on with your life and love yourself

It is important that you do not obsess and you paralyze . To overcome this situation, it is necessary that you continue with your life, you set goals that fit your own desires and fight to achieve your goals. You must make sense of your life, because if you are not happy with yourself and you do not fight to be happy, you can hardly overcome it.

For this, it is even better that you do things that you do not want but that you know will work well in the long run, like socializing more, exercising, etc. The idea is to keep you going.

5. Seek psychological help

In some cases, the person who feels an impossible love sinks , coming to experience situations that are truly paralyzing and problematic for their own health and quality of life. Maybe, for example, there is a problem of self-esteem or a deficit of social skills in the background, which does not allow you to get out of this emotionally fatiguing situation.

If you have tried to overcome it on your own and you see that you are not moving forward, perhaps you should go to psychological therapy, so that a mental health professional gives you the chance to know and develop different tools to improve your well-being.