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How to give bad news? 12 emotional keys

How to give bad news? 12 emotional keys

March 29, 2024

The bad news almost always cause discomfort, both in the person who receives it and in the person who gives it. Making a person know for ourselves some facts that will make him feel bad can generate a feeling of discomfort so strong that it leads to misunderstandings or generate added problems.

Further, If we believe we are not ready to give this news, we may postpone this task indefinitely so as not to face the undesired consequences of not knowing what to say, and this is something that will possibly negatively affect both the person who should be informed and other involved parties (for example, if we work in a hospital).


Therefore, to know how to deal with these situations, it is convenient to have clear basic behavior guidelines. You can read below some tips that will help you know how to give bad news .

Tips to know how to give bad news

1. Stop to think if we are the right person to give it

This point is basic, since It is not advisable to assume that we should be the ones reporting the bad news . Think about the quality of what you could be the informant, if your professional role includes this type of actions (in the case that you are practicing a profession when you contact that person) and if there are no better alternatives.


2. Think about our own emotional state

To publicize bad news it is good to consider as many more variables as possible. Because, It is good to stop and reflect, even briefly, about the feelings that this news generates in us . In this way we will gain a certain control over the situation, since we will know better the attitudes and thoughts around this news by one of the two agents who will be involved in the dialogue: we.

If we judge that we are too emotionally involved with the information we are going to give, we can consider going back to point 1 and think of other people to communicate the bad news.

3. Anticipate the other person's reaction

Technically, this advice is not to give bad news correctly, but must be part of your brief prior planning to wait for certain behaviors and prepare possible solutions .


4. Choose the right moment

When you give the bad news, It is important that the other person can give us their full attention and that it does not carry an intense emotional charge derived from the activities that you have been doing recently. Therefore, if possible, choose well the moment in which the other person is not too stressed or especially excited by any circumstance, as this could make the news have a greater emotional impact and that this moment will be remembered as an even more unpleasant experience.

If it is not possible to choose a moment in the near future to inform the other person, it is clear from the beginning that you have something important to say: do not start talking about something else .

5. Find a calm and emotionally neutral context

In the line of the previous point, the context in which you are going to give the bad news should not have distractions and be quiet . In this way, communication will be more fluid and there will be no environmental stressors. Choose a place that you have at hand, since you must direct the person to him without giving him the news, just to follow you and anticipate the importance of what is going to happen.

6. Maintain some proximity with the person

Even if you do not maintain a friendship with the interlocutor, it's good to be close to communicating the news . In this way the person will feel more comforted and will be in a better disposition to give him help if he needs it. Try, also, that there is no furniture separating and that your eyes are more or less at the same height, so that you do not notice asymmetries of power among you.

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7. Sit, both

This advice it is more important how much worse is the news that you want to give . Sitting makes a large part of the body relax, which in turn makes it easier to pay attention and, on the other hand, can help eliminate some of the tension before and during the delivery of the news. In addition, if we adopt a relatively relaxed posture (without crossing our arms or legs and without stooping too much) it is very possible that the other person tends to imitate us without realizing it, so that she will also feel somewhat more relaxed.

On the other hand, when the other person is sitting n or fall to the ground if you faint or notice that you lose strength momentarily due to your mood .

8. Touch, do not touch ...?

Unless we are someone very close to the other person, It is preferable not to touch it with your hand or arm just before giving the news , since this could cause him to stress very fast and that he can not concentrate well on what we are saying. We can do it, if we deem it convenient, after communicating it, to comfort it.

9. Start counting the most important, but without abruptness

It is essential that you start talking about the information you must give, Bluntly , since that will thin the environment and be incoherent with everything you've done before (actions that are focused on expressing the importance of that moment). But nevertheless, It is preferable that a few seconds go by between when you start talking and when the worst part of the news is named , to gradually introduce the subject. That's why it's not good to summarize the news in a single newspaper headline.

Once you have said the important thing, you can tell the details later if you think it is appropriate and the other person is willing to continue listening.

10. Use a neutral language and give information objectively

What we are going to say is very important, so that the best thing is not to "prefabricate" a point of view or a state of opinion that we are going to impose on the other person . Giving bad news is something that makes sense because the other person needs to know relevant information and assimilate it in their own way.

In addition, giving the data together with our opinion or point of view can be a way of hiding things or giving a biased information, even when we do not realize it, usually offering too optimistic news.

11. Restate what happened, if you can

Once the important thing has been said, We can offer a point of view that completes the previous information , opening a more hopeful range of possibilities. However, it is very important to do this only if you are being realistic in raising these expectations and really believe in what we are saying.

Sincerity and transparency are fundamental.

12. Do not get emotionally involved if it is not to comfort the other person

In the moments in which we give the news, we must ensure the welfare of our interlocutor . That is why it is convenient to distance ourselves enough so that we do not have to externalize our own feelings and the other person can manage their own.

This can be done, for example, not reacting negatively if the other person blames us for what happened or if he gets angry with us for no reason .


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