How to help a child who is afraid of the dark, in 5 steps
Fear of the dark is one of the most common fears in boys and girls , even entering adolescence. As always, it can not be said that fear itself is a bad thing, but, in any case, it can be harmful if it becomes a pattern of avoidance behavior that appears when there is no reason to be alert or to look for a place more safe. In this article we will see several tips about how to act in children with fear of the dark to help them and alleviate the discomfort they feel by staying in places without light.
- Related article: "Child psychology: a practical guide for fathers and mothers"
Children with fear of the dark: why do they suffer?
The first thing we must do when addressing this issue is to understand the logic underlying the experimentation of fear on the part of the child. The fear of the dark is something acquired, that is to say, an involuntary learning, not something that arises in an innate way in the minor and that then must be corrected. This implies that, in the same way in which it has been learned, it can also be unlearned.
Y what is the point of the lack of light ? Vision is one of the senses that we use the most when receiving stimuli from the outside, and in fact the part of the brain that we use to process visual information is very large. Therefore, when the view is canceled, we feel much more disoriented and dependent on others or the resources we can find.
In the case of children, to this feeling of uncertainty we must add the feeling of helplessness , of exposure to possible dangers and helplessness. Why? Because in the little ones magical thinking is much more frequent.
What is magical thinking?
Magical thinking in a way of thinking that is based on assuming that reality includes entities capable of transforming or adopting forms that we confuse with inanimate objects and that, consequently, surround us without our noticing, sometimes directing our destinies or simply influencing what happens to us indirectly.
It is based, after all, on place an entity with purpose behind the events that occur , since we still do not understand how our surroundings work.
So, what is scary is not so much the darkness itself, as the fact that through the protection it offers, children are far from the protection of adults and they can be victims of the misdeeds of any "monster" or malicious entity.
- Maybe you are interested: "Magical thinking: causes, functions and examples"
Educate children against the fear of darkness
Now that we understand a little better why there are children afraid of the dark, it is time to propose solutions. While it is very unlikely that overnight, a minor goes from being very afraid of the dark to not feeling any discomfort or a certain level of anxiety while remaining in a place with little light, we can make that level of fear diminishes a lot, enough so that it is not a significant problem.
1. Do not ridicule your fears
Maybe from an adult's perspective the fear of the dark seems absurd, but, as we have seen, for children it may make sense. Therefore, it is convenient not to laugh at these fears, although evidently neither should we show that there are reasons to have that fear .
The key is to show understanding and allow the little one in the house to explain their fears feeling understood. If we laugh at those concerns, we will only reaffirm that not the fear of the dark is alone and he does not have too much protection against that feeling, but if he can express himself, that sense of helplessness will not be there.
- Maybe you're interested: "What's the use of fear?"
2. Regulate the pieces of fiction to which it is exposed
Obviously, if a child is usually exposed to pieces of fiction that show monsters or murderers attacking in the dark, this idea will go through your head more often . Supervising the series, videos and movies that a young child sees is positive if this contributes to the fact that there are no fears or misconceptions that could harm him.
3. Do not use myths or fear of monsters to obey
The belief system of children, like that of any person, is an interconnected whole. Therefore, it does not make sense to say that there is no reason to worry about the darkness if at the same time you feed the fear of the "coconut" or the "bogeyman" who takes away the bad children. You have to maintain consistency .
4. Contribute to sleep with sleep
The simple fact of going to sleep and not going through experiences of fear for a significant time makes the little ones get used to the darkness, because they know that they have been in darkness many times and, without having adopted any "special defensive measure" , no monster has attacked them.
So, some tricks that you can use is to make sure that they do not look at screens or intense light sources during the two or three hours before going to sleep, that they actually come to bed when they are sleepy, and that they have not been doing fair exercise. before.
5. If you have a pet, have him participate
The protection offered by a pet such as a cat or a dog can be an intermediate step between the constant protection of parents and absolute autonomy. In any case, it is much preferable to an adult staying at the foot of the bed "Standing guard", a fact that only reinforces the fear by making the moments in which one is alone stand out more.
