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How to know if I am compatible with my partner: 5 tips

How to know if I am compatible with my partner: 5 tips

June 18, 2024

In the world of relationships almost always logics are acting. On the one hand, there is one that has to do with personal attraction and that gives us short-term incentives to continue alongside a person. This is in itself something that can sometimes be confusing, because it is not easy to analyze one's emotions.

On the other, there is the logic of material possibilities, which is all that must be done to allow coexistence in a continuous manner: earn a salary, have time for the couple ...

All this makes many people wonder ... How to know if I am compatible with my partner? The small problems and conflicts of the day to day can be just that, but it is also possible that they are symptoms of an incompatibility more difficult to remedy.

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Keys to know if you are compatible with your partner

It is clear that each couple relationship is a world, and there is no universal yardstick that allows us to know the "quality" of a loving bond.

However, it is usually useful to look at a series of criteria or facets of a relationship in order to determine if there are incompatibilities, considering the seriousness of their problems. Let's see it

1. Is there mutual respect in a sustained manner?

This is the first criterion in which we must look to know if we are compatible with our partner. Respect is the basis of any non-antagonistic relationship , and of course, in the specific case of love, it is paramount.

Thus, not only is there no direct physical or verbal aggression. The usual way of relating to the other must be consistent with the value of respect, and in a sustained manner over time. The latter is very important, because even in relationships in which there is abuse, a cycle of violence can be given in which, in a punctual manner, repentance is shown for a short time afterwards, to re-attack.

2. Is there time to be together?

Each person has their own needs when it comes to establishing the minimum amount of time they want to spend with their partner, either daily or weekly. Therefore, it is essential to stop to analyze if these apparently different interests fit together, and if the conditions exist for these expectations to be met.

For example, in distance relationships this can be a problem , but if a realistic plan is drawn up by which both people can spend quality time together, or one in which at a point the relationship ceases to be remote, in that case it does not have to be called incompatibility.

In any case, it is important to point out that not all expressions of loving compatibility have to be of a purely psychological or emotional nature; others are material, such as the serious problems caused by endless working hours.

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3. Is everything based on physical attraction?

In youth, it is common to confuse amorous compatibility with mutual attraction based on the physical, the aesthetic. This is a pattern of behavior that gives problems in the medium and long term .

This is precisely why it is good to ask ourselves if what keeps us together with our partner is the inertia of what started only with physical attraction. Although technically it is not an incompatibility, it is a source of future and probable serious incompatibilities. Taking into account that most people consider relationships as a stable and long-term bond, it is worth thinking about it.

4. Is there asymmetry in communication?

There are times when one of the people who form the relationship takes a markedly passive role when there are discussions or conflicts of interest. That is to say, to make see that everything is more or less well, although to the practice it is not gotten to disguise of the whole. In these cases it may happen that the other person is interested in making explicit the reason for the problem, or that it is assumed that in those cases the correct thing is to do nothing, so that the conflict does not emerge to the surface.

When both people have gotten used to this because They do not know how to deal with problems directly , that can constitute an incompatibility. In the long run, the will of one of the parties always prevails.

5. Are there realistic expectations about compatibility?

Paradoxically, obsessing about whether one is compatible with their partner or not, can be an incompatibility if it leads to demanding from the other person that they conform almost perfectly to what is expected of them. It is important to assume that there is always small friction between the interests of people who have been involved in the relationship . You can not idealize the concept of lovers who complement each other perfectly.

In conclusion

Fulfilling the requirements we have seen does not guarantee that a relationship will work, but it gives a fairly realistic sample of the possibilities it has to prosper. Keeping them in mind regularly to see if everything goes well is good, although you have to aspire to make the love bond something more than a set of desirable objective characteristics.

Love and falling in love must be lived, not simply analyzed.

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