How to know when the relationship has ended: 7 tips
If something is clear in the field of love is that interpreting our emotions is sometimes as or more complicated than playing to guess what the person with whom we are feeling. The human mind is complex and full of nuances, so, for example, one is not always clear about what he wants.
In the case of love this is especially true, and this is not necessarily bad, but when the relationship is badly damaged, this inability to assess what is really happening is counterproductive, since by inertia we tend to continue doing the usual. Next we will see several guidelines about how to know when a relationship has ended .
- Related article: "How to avoid couple conflicts?"
How to know when the relationship is over
In couple relationships this is especially problematic not knowing how to recognize one's emotions, because inconsistencies and unpredictability in terms of the goals and motivations of each one can stress the commitments. A certain level of tension is relatively normal in any relationship, but when it comes to a critical point, it is important to be aware that it is best to cut.
Because of the myth that love always implies suffering and sacrificing for the other, there are those who, whatever happens, they do not even consider cutting and starting over autonomously, letting the other person go. But this is not the case: life is short, and there are no reasons to bet everything on a specific relationship, indefinitely.
In the following lines you will find several aids to recognize where is the limit of what is acceptable . However, keep in mind that it is not necessary for one of them to be fulfilled in order to have the legitimacy to cut. Each person is free to end a relationship if they feel it is the best, for whatever reason.
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1. Assess if there is physical or psychological abuse
This is the first aspect to consider, since the abuse is a very clear red line. However, in victims of abuse, they often do not recognize their situation or even justify it, unless they stop to think carefully about what happens. In this sense, psychological abuse can cause problems because sometimes it is somewhat ambiguous or needs a special context to be such.
- Related article: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship"
2. Consider yourself if there is sufficient physical contact
Affection and love are expressed not only through words, but also through the sense of touch. However, in couples in which there is no longer love, this type of interaction ceases to be a frequent habit.
3. Think about how much you care about the "what they will say"
Some people are still with their partner simply because cutting with the relationship would cause a negative impact on people in their environment. The group pressure is surprisingly powerful , and acts indirectly, even if nobody has done anything to suggest pressure, simply based on our expectations and what we imagine will happen if we return to singleness.
That is why it is worthwhile to stop and think if in the present one of the main reasons why the relationship continues to exist is the desire to please others, to give them a kind image of ourselves. After all, one of the most direct solutions to the problem of how to know if the relationship has ended is to see if it is only sustained by others, and not by ourselves.
4. Assess the frequency and intensity of the quarrels
This is possibly one of the methods most followed by people who intend to find out if it makes sense to continue or not with a relationship, and it is easy to know why. The fights are crisis with a relatively clear start and end , and that is why it is easy to distinguish them from what is considered to be normality.
It is true that strong arguments indicate tension and confrontation, but do not let them capitalize on your concept of what a failed relationship is. As we are seeing, there are many other phenomena that denote problems in relational dynamics but that, being more discreet, can be overlooked.
5. Are the basic pacts broken?
In every relationship there is a minimum level of commitment, as long as there is a pretense that it lasts beyond a few weeks or months. That is why it is important to look at whether they are met; this is a sign of the importance that each one gives to the fact of being in a relationship with the other.
6. Rate if you can talk about what you feel with your partner
By definition, a relationship should be a two-way communication link. It is not viable to have a partner and not be able to express important things that we would like you to know , whenever this happens because of their attitudes, because this means that there is no capacity for the other person to adapt to the variations of what we feel, or even to be comforted in difficult moments.
A relationship in which only "the facade" is taken into account, what we seem to feel, is incredibly poor.
7. The other person has left us
It may seem silly, but not everyone recognizes the moment in which their partner ends the relationship . They suppose that it is a joke, a strategy to create pressure, or a way to get revenge. But it is not like that: when the other person cuts, what is happening is exactly what it seems, and we have no right to show that we have not heard or act as if we knew better than the other person what he really wants.