How to know when to let your partner go, in 5 keys
Ending a relationship is always something complicated, but it is not only at the moment of cutting. The simple fact of considering whether we should terminate that stage of our lives that we have shared with another person can be just as hard. And is that indecision is a real source of stress and anxiety.
In this article we will see several things that you should keep in mind for know if it's time to let your partner go and return to singleness.
- Related article: "Why is it so difficult for us to overcome a sentimental break?"
The art of knowing when to let your partner go
In most cases, when marital or couple crises appear, they do not appear suddenly and clearly. If this were so, the situation would be very hard, but at least everything would be clearer. What happens, on the other hand, is that Problems and conflicts gradually accumulate , making the malaise clogged and increasingly difficult to manage.
It is not strange that this is the norm. In situations that are uncomfortable but not well defined and complex to understand, we tend to cling to the hope that everything will be solved by itself; that is, an avoidant situation is adopted before the problem.
Close your eyes and show that nothing happens may seem unreasonable, but when we have to live these cases in our own flesh, it is usually a very attractive option. If the present gives us the possibility of not going through a very bad time, we often choose that, even though we know that this can lead us to suffer more in the future. And this, of course, It also happens with love relationships .
But if we sharpen our ability to detect those points of the relationship in which there is no going back and everything indicates that the chances of everything improving are very low, we will favor that we make the right decision in that case: terminate the relationship to not suffer more . Let's see some clues to know if this situation has been reached.
1. Signs of abuse
Obviously, this is the most important aspect when evaluating the minimum quality requirements of a relationship . If insults, physical aggressions or other forms of psychological abuse (such as gaslighting) become the norm, the couple relationship has no reason to be, since in fact it is not such, but a link based on denigration of the other or even the threat to their own integrity. Love and this kind of dealings are incompatible.
Although centuries of normalization of violence against women and of romantic love based on sacrifice have meant that in certain cases it is not "automatic" to recognize abuse when suffering, it is possible if certain red lines are taken into account. they can not be surpassed, like constant contempt, ridicule, insulus or the threat of injury or physical pain.
In this case, then, it is not about letting the couple go, but acting in consequence of the fact that you do not have a de facto partner, but rather an abuser or abuser.
2. You only fear what they will say about the rupture
If thinking about the breakup of a couple the first concern that comes to mind is what they will say, that is a symptom that effectively there are solid reasons to terminate that engagement or marriage . After all, the wrapping of a relationship does not make it exist or make sense.
3. You have been feeling bad for a while
When a part of us feels that we are still in the relationship out of sheer inertia, it is normal for feelings of guilt to arise, especially when establishing future plans, given that as time goes by, more commitments are adopted, on the one hand, and for the other is faking to appear normal, deceiving the other person .
In this case it can be considered that there is manipulation, and the fact that of fear breaking the heart to the other person exposing the situation does not justify that he is deceived, an option that ends up causing a lot of pain to both parties.
4. There is a domain situation
Relationships in which there is a clear asymmetry of powers in the roles that each person adopts do not have to be a form of abuse, but they remain toxic relationships.
This is so because the habit of always being the person who decides and the same person who adapts to these situations can quickly lead to abuse. At the end of the day, the idea is normalized that one is the one who has the criterion and the other the one who has to comply with orders (although at first he simply accepted to have a passive role so as not to have to try too hard).
5. The other person makes it clear
It does not matter how much it hurts; If the other person wants to end the relationship, we must be clear that there is nothing to discuss or negotiate. The obsessive ideas about what can be done to recover the couple They are frequent in some cases, but we must not let them dominate us.
