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How to learn to listen in a conversation in 5 steps

How to learn to listen in a conversation in 5 steps

December 4, 2020

Good part of our day to day is based on communication. We could not have the standards of quality of life that we have if it were not because we live in society. However, sometimes we forget that we also have to contribute something to this formula. For communication to flow, it is important to learn to really listen.

After all, we all know how to stay still while the other speaks, but to actually participate in a conversation requires the ability to be active even when the other has the floor.

In this article we will focus on reviewing different tips about how to learn to listen in conversations that we maintain with friends, family and loved ones in general.

  • Related article: "The 28 types of communication and their characteristics

Tips to learn to listen

Being good at listening to the rest is a virtue that is underestimated in many ways. But if it is mastered, it makes us much more skillful when it comes to drawing links with others. And remember that the quality and quantity of these links are something that defines our quality of life. A few people like to deal regularly with someone who does not pay attention while talking.

So, consider the following tips when applying them to the conversations in which you participate, even if in practice they are more like a monologue than a dialogue (There are times when a person needs to vent and be heard). Keep in mind that reading subtraction ideas is not enough; You must apply them to your day to day in a constant way to get used to them, and adapt them to the characteristics of your life.

1. Estimate the needs of the other person

To begin with, it is good to keep your attention focused on what the non-verbal language of the other person and what he says between the lines tells us about the needs that move her to speak . Do you want to be heard to explain an event that has had a strong emotional impact on her? Or do you just want to explain something so that we use that information to do something?

Depending on these needs, our participation in the conversation should be more based on listening, listening and speaking.

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2. Maintain eye contact

Maintaining eye contact is one of the fundamental aspects of any face-to-face conversation. If this norm is not complied with, not only is a sense of detachment created with respect to the person with whom we are communicating; in addition, even Misunderstandings may appear and failures to interpret the thoughts and intentions of the other.

Therefore, even if you do not speak, look the other person in the eye. If for some reason this costs you, either because of shyness or lack of habit, just look in the direction of your face . If you do this, without obsessing to establish eye contact, it will surely come out naturally and after a season using this technique you will not have to think about it anymore.

3. Do not take it as a break

Listening is no less than talking; It is so or more important, in fact. So, do not take these moments as moments of rest in which you can do what you want. Because if you do, you will simply limit yourself to saying what you want to say and then disconnect, stop paying attention and dedicate yourself to fantasizing, mentally humming songs or remembering experiences. With a few occasions when the other person realizes that you are not paying attention, I may stop trying to talk to you .

4. Practice active listening

Not only do you have to pay attention to what the other person is telling you. Also, you have to let them know that you are paying attention. In this way, the other person will have an incentive to talk as much as they want, without feeling alibi, and genuine communication will flow .

To achieve this, be sure to pace the conversation by nodding and clearly showing your reactions to what the other person is saying (with gestures or exclamations). You can also provide brief comments about what the other person communicates, but without making them so long that they involve an interruption. The idea is to complement the other's efforts by explain with your own efforts when communicating what we think of what you are saying .

5. Ask the questions that arise

A conversation is always something dynamic, largely improvised. Therefore, you can also contribute to make it meaningful, even in the role of the person listening, asking simple questions or asking for clarification.

In this way information omissions will be compensated in which our interlocutor can fall simply for not having planned what he was going to say, while showing interest or even facilitates the appearance of moments in which doubts appear that no one had thought of before and that help see the subject from another perspective.

5 ways to listen better | Julian Treasure (December 2020).

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