How to stop feeling resentment? 5 useful tips
Feeling resentful can be an apparently stimulating experience, since for some people it is something that adds meaning to life. The fact of feeling neglected, deceived or outraged by someone makes, for example, that there is a reason to channel efforts to show that person that "he has not been able to do it with us", that despite what happened, he has continued forward like nothing. Therefore, those who feel this way sometimes do not realize they have a problem.
The truth is stop feeling resentment is a much better option to continue in that state of mind, as we shall see. Basing a significant part of life on that does not make sense.
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How to stop feeling resentment and turn the page?
Before understanding why advice on how to stop feeling resentful is useful, it is important to understand why it is important to leave behind that tendency to constantly evoke past experiences that we feel resentful of.
In the first place, although the fact of holding a grudge against someone can provide a certain motivation In some contexts, it is also necessary to consider that at the same time that this sensation is experienced, there also appears an upset that arises from the fact of thinking often about something bad that happened to us in the past. This is already psychologically painful, and can also help us to adopt a perspective on ourselves and on life that is too pessimistic to adjust to reality.
Second, the motivation you can bring does not have to be powerful enough to compensate the damage to self-esteem that usually occurs when those past grievances are remembered. But in addition, if it finally leads us to fulfill an objective, the feeling is usually not that of triumph, since at the end of the day it is only based on imagining that in a symbolic sense we have overcome who hurt us, something that does not have what it means a lot in more rational terms; That person was only special because of how bad he made us feel, but once his figure is demystified, what is left?
Here are some tips on how to stop feeling resentful. Keep in mind that to work they must be applied to everyday habits, not just thinking about them.
1. Take a distant perspective
Virtually any life experience can be viewed from a more subjective perspective, on the one hand, or more distant, calm and rational . Of course, it is not possible to spend all your life experiencing things from a bird's eye view, as if everything happened to someone else. But sometimes, opting for this at specific moments is very useful to regulate emotions.
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2. If possible, get in touch with that person
Many times, everything is arranged with dialogue. Even if the reason we feel resentment is part of an action intentionally hostile to us, it is very possible that in the present moment, the person who damaged us repents .
Thus, it is worth creating the opportunity for resentment to go away on its own by having nothing to cling to, if a reconciliation or an honest apology occurs.
3. Redirect frustrations
Some people do not feel resentment for a specific person, but for an abstract collective, or even for society in general. Therefore, in these cases it is necessary to reflect on what are the true reasons why that feeling is there and make sure that you are not attributing your own discomfort to something that it only exists in our imagination .
4. Manage your attention well
It's not about being distracted, but about becoming aware that if we were constantly thinking about all the bad things that happen, we would never get out of bed, but that would not make us have a deep understanding of what the world is. We have limited time and resources, so you have to know recognize the existence of both the good and the bad .
Sometimes, this vital pessimism is maintained because it is believed that although it does not make us feel good, at least it gives us a real vision of what is happening. Realizing that this is false is important in letting go of this dynamic of negative thoughts.
5. Reinforce your friendships
If the intensity of negative thoughts towards one or more people is higher than the feelings of attachment we feel for others , it is easy to concentrate only on the first. Therefore, being together with friends and loved ones in general makes it even less sense to cling to rancor. People who feel well do not have time or reasons to make that mental state one of the pillars of their daily lives.
