How to stop fighting with my partner constantly: 8 tips
Relationships are always complicated, because coexistence with people with whom you share a lot always is. The emotional involvement, the expectations of future plans and the fact of having to distribute tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we must add other sacrifices related to courtship and marriage.
This makes many people think ... How can I stop fighting so much with my partner on a day-to-day basis? In this article we will see several tips on how to manage coexistence between people in love, making the discussions less frequent.
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How to stop fighting so much with my partner?
Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case.
1. Control your expectations
You should not assume that the goal is to never argue with your partner again, because that is unrealistic. The fact of adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship in which all are smiles constantly can be, in itself, a source of conflict, something that predisposes us to frustrate ourselves and to get angry for any detail and imperfection.
2. Do not keep anything important
Avoiding conflict by hiding information is also something that can aggravate the problem, causing the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.
3. Adopt constructive attitudes
Some confuse to point out that the other has done something wrong with humiliating the other because he has done something wrong. The first is necessary so that this behavior does not happen again, but the second only serves to make the other person defensive, reaffirm and believe that he has done nothing wrong .
It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves mockery, then the other person is wrong and as a consequence has no reason to criticize our behavior.
4. Avoid mixing reproaches
It is important that, when complaining about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at that moment, and that we do not take advantage of that as an excuse to bring up the subject of a previous discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other person. The latter is not honest , does not serve to solve the problem and also favors the appearance of conflicts.
5. Shows affection
This is a basic piece of advice: since you love the other person, show him or her through the daily signs of affection. Otherwise, the only thing that will be evident is the frustration and discontent in the moments in which it is discussed, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battlefield.
In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something that is taken for granted ; It must be expressed.
6. Talk a lot about what happens to you
Another of the tips on how to stop discussing so much is based on the idea that many times these confrontations are caused by a lack of communication. This causes that one of the members of the couple remains in ignorance with respect to a subject that in case of knowing would consider important, and that when he knows about it, it makes him wonder why this lack of transparency is: lack of trust ? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in your point of view?
7. Put a limit on humor
Some people confuse humor with constantly ridiculing the other person. This not only does not make sense, but in practice can become something that significantly damages the couple, and that in extreme and frequent cases can be considered a type of psychological abuse , just like with gaslighting.
It is one thing to laugh with a person, and the other is to laugh at the person. Humor can not be a shield with which to cover cruelty and attacks on the dignity of the other, because that generates frustrations and anger, and what is more important, harms the victim.
8. Talk about your priorities
Knowing the other person's concerns and interests is fundamental to understanding what drives them to act. Be aware of the other's mental world allows to draw joint plans more easily and that a situation does not occur in which the needs of one are subject to those of the other, with the consequent resentment and accumulated frustrations.