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Learning to say

Learning to say "No"

June 24, 2024

The problems of assertiveness have a thousand faces, and can take different forms to create problems in the daily lives of those people who have never learned to say no. This can have consequences not only for the person in particular, but even for their environment, which will gradually become accustomed to receiving favorable treatment and may even neglect some tasks, in addition to being frustrated when it is not possible to receive the attention of the person little assertive

That is why It is worthwhile to dedicate ourselves regularly to self-exam and see if, in certain areas or for certain people, it is hard for us to say no . Here are some steps to follow to address this problem from a psychological perspective.


Training in the art of saying no

1. Reflect on what your priorities are

To know in what aspects you should be able to say no and you do not, it is necessary to know in the first place what your interests are , that is, what you want to achieve and that other people do not have to provide you without having to do anything. Establish a scale of priorities to know what matters most to you and what matters least to you.

2. Think about if you are being consistent with the above

Are you letting go important opportunities by not bothering someone? Think to what extent the benefit that you would get by dedicating your efforts to what matters most to you would be less than the inconvenience that you can cause . Think, too, to what extent you give of course that you should keep that person satisfied regardless of your interests.


3. Would that really be annoying?

Think of the annoyances that you could generate by refusing to do something. Then, imagine that you are in the other person's place and think to what extent it would be inappropriate for you that they did the same to you Would it really be a problem for you if someone told you no, or is it rather an imaginary fear?

4. Visualize yourself as you think others see you

People who can not say no tend to believe that they are constantly owing things to other people . This is explained because the lack of assertiveness is closely linked to low self-esteem and low self-confidence, so it is common to believe that, although one does not want to take advantage of others, it is a burden for friends, family members, coworkers and neighbors.

To mitigate the effects of this vision of reality so biased, it is good to devote some time to self-reflection and to think about what aspects one owes more to other people than what the rest owes to one. From a close examination of the relationships you have with others, it is easier to see to what extent these small "debts" are of little importance or, in many cases, do not even exist.


5. Think about what people who do not know how to say do not suggest

Think about how people with a lack of assertiveness are and spend some time imagining them with all the details you can about their way of relating to others and how they are usually treated by other people. Then, think about how you think you are, and overlay this image that you had imagined before to see to what extent you are a person who finds it hard to say no. With this simple measure, practiced regularly, You can see in what aspects you can improve and win in assertiveness and with which people you usually have more difficulty defending your interests .

Conclusion: coldly analyze the situation

In short, all these points put in the focus the need to distance oneself to self-examine and analyze coldly in what aspects it is appropriate to say no and is not doing so. Begin to introduce these changes in our relationships with others can be complicated and uncomfortable at first, but undoubtedly the benefits of this regular practice will be noticed in the day to day .


LEARN To Say "NO!" - #OneRule (June 2024).


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