Open relationships: 7 tips and mistakes to avoid
It is well known that monogamy is a cultural phenomenon that varies depending on the society in which one lives, as well as on the way of perceiving the relationships that each person has. Although for many centuries the inhabitants of Western countries have seen in it the only possible way to conceive love, there are those who see beyond.
Although in reality they have always existed, in recent years open relations have gained momentum , naturalizing and seeing itself as another type of relationship that is as healthy and satisfactory as the rest. However, the fact that they are a rarity in our cultural environments causes many myths to circulate about these relationships and their potential, a fact that can lead to mistakes and have mistaken expectations about what they are. Let's see how to avoid falling into this kind of mistakes.
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What are open relationships?
There are a lot of types of relationships and not all have to be based on monogamy. Out of this category are the so-called open relationships.
This type of relationship is characterized because the members of the relationship do not consider the necessary monogamy to maintain a healthy and stable relationship, so by means of a common agreement, the possibility of maintaining relationships with third parties is established.
These types of relationships can range from sporadic sexual relations with other people to more or less stable emotional ties. Within this category it can include temporary monogamy, polygamy or relational anarchy .
Taking the initiative to start an open relationship, or convert a traditional relationship into one of the previous ones implies that the components of this make a change of mentality and change their perspective on how to live both emotional and sexual relationships.
Since, however convinced we may be, this change is not always easy, then we will see a series of tips and suggestions for live an open relationship in a healthy and positive way .
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Tips for enjoying an open relationship
Through these 7 tips, couples who are thinking of starting an open relationship can know what factors should be taken into account and what steps to follow when initiating this type of intimate relationship, as well as the errors that should be avoided if Pretend that this works.
1. Starting from a healthy relationship
To start with this new stage or format of the relationship It is essential that the couple maintain a strong bond , that the relationship works well and that there is trust in the other and security on the part of both members.
Although it does not always have to be this way, a well-functioning partner will be more likely to succeed in opening their relationship than another in which there is no degree of well-being and confidence.
On the other hand, it will never be a good idea to open a relationship with the intention of saving it from a crisis or separation, since frustrations and mistrust will only increase.
2. Not doing it by obligation
If one of the two components of the couple proposes to start an open relationship the other does not have to accept by simple commitment or for fear that the relationship ends if it is not accepted.
The purpose of initiating this type of relationship is to increase the well-being of the couple and to make both happy, so if you are not convinced or done by obligation is better to talk with the couple.
The first requirement for this kind of relationship to go well is that both of them sincerely wish it and are convinced that they want to do it. Otherwise, it will not only affect the well-being of the couple, but it will most likely end up being broken.
3. Establish norms and limits
As in any other type of relationship, it is necessary that the couple reach a consensus on what is allowed and what is not . The establishment of norms and limits will avoid misunderstandings and confusions, as well as providing security and confidence.
It is very advisable to discuss quietly about being rules, as well as manifest the needs of each. A good way is for this to be reflected somewhere, in order to avoid unnecessary discussions if the case arises.
It is clear that, just as it is necessary to establish a series of rules, it is essential that these are met, since otherwise it means cheating the couple in any way. Of course, these rules they can have some flexibility and they are likely to be modified to better fit the needs of the relationship.
4. Be communicative
As mentioned above, communication is essential when maintaining this and any other relationship.
Manifest and express needs, thoughts, ideas and emotions In a sincere way it is essential to ensure the future of the relationship. In the same way that it is essential to actively listen to the other when you are trying to communicate.
To conceal, pretend or deceive the other, although we sincerely believe that we are doing it for the good of the relationship, is never a good idea. Since it is very possible that sooner or later everything will come to light, increasing distrust within the relationship.
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5. Forget jealousy
If jealousy is no longer recommended in conventional relationships, in open relationships they do not make any sense.
Bearing in mind that the basic idea of open relationships is that one or both of the partners are allowed to have intimate relationships, both sexual and emotional with another person, jealousy has no place .
If both are sincere and meet pre-established standards, they do not have to appear jealousy or distrust.
On the other hand, if what is feared is that these relationships outside the couple end up creating strong feelings of love, it is necessary to know that those open couples that are well established and established are more likely to succeed than traditional couples.
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6. Be honest with the other people
Just as important as the sincerity in the couple is the sincerity with those other people with which intimate relationships are maintained outside of the couple. Otherwise it is unfair for the third person not to know what situation he is in.
It is important that you know the existence of a "main" relationship, as well as the agreed rules, in order to decide if you want to continue with that person or not. Otherwise it can be hurt and, in addition, conflicts can appear with all the components of the relationship.
7. Have time for the couple
Last but not least, the fact of spending time with other people should not imply carelessness of the couple's relationship. In order to maintain this type of relationship over time it is necessary to protect and take care of the relationship day by day.
