Overcome an infidelity: the 5 keys to achieve it
Many couples wonder if you can overcome an infidelity after knowing the involvement of a third person in their relationship, but the answer to this question depends basically on the reestablishment of the bond of trust between them and the degree of affectation of it, since in some cases it is permanently damaged and separation is the best solution for both.
The disappointment is the most frequent emotion that is linked to infidelity, because knowing we are deceived produces a host of negative feelings towards the couple that degrade consequently the image that we had until the time of him or her, and return to restore it is not always easy nor viable.
Infidelity under the magnifying glass of science
In fact, there are already different studies on the problem of infidelity, as we read in the article "What does science reveal about infidelity?".
The context in which infidelity has developed is as important as the infidelity itself, because it is not the same a specific slip on a specific occasion that a temporary alignment in which relationships have alternated with a third person behind the partner's back . The latter would imply a contact beyond a simple adventure in which there has been an exchange of feelings and, therefore, a premeditated action of the person involved towards deception that is much more difficult to forgive, and mutual trust is greatly affected.
An infidelity can be overcome: keys to achieve it
Occasional adventures are also not determinative to know if an infidelity can be overcome, although these cases imply a stimulus in the actions that is usually spontaneous and unreflective in which the consequences of the acts have not been measured. The deceived person can also lose trust in your partner If after what happened, she does not feel confident about whether that thoughtless action could happen again.
What are the important aspects when it comes to pulling forward when one has suffered an infidelity?
Sincerity on both sides is always the best way to face any problem that could happen in the couple, because in the case of infidelity, there are many conditions that can induce to seek an external stimulus in personal relationships, and although this is not proof to take such measures, the to be honest with the other could favor the work in common on the weak points of the relationship or that the other considers defective to correct them and reach a satisfactory agreement for both.
2. Leave time for reflection
Leave space to the other person It is also a necessary aspect to know if an infidelity can be forgiven, because the initial reaction to deception is usually one of rejection and rejection by the one who committed it, a response that is induced by the clash of realities represented by the contrast of the image of the couple (often idealized) that is projected in the subconscious, to which the conscious mind has to face when we see that things are not as we thought.
3. Know the reality
Expose the facts and know the details of the problem is part of the recovery process to know if you can overcome an infidelity and at this point, it is essential to be as sincere as possible on both sides avoiding entering into sordid details that do not contribute to reestablishing the bond of trust , like comparisons about the intimacy maintained between the couple and the third person in question.
4. Break (sincerely) with the third person
Break relationships with the third person it is necessary in all cases in which infidelity occurs , although when this has occurred occasionally it probably is not necessary because most of these situations tend to occur in relaxed environments such as parties and with strangers with whom it usually does not have contact.
5. Avoid environments that may create discomfort
If the third person involved is someone from the circle close to the couple, It may be necessary to introduce some modifications of the routine in common such as a change of friends or work, in order to avoid tense situations that lead to remembering what happened to prevent turning a page within a vicious circle of guilt and blame.
Start from scratch
Overcoming an infidelity is, in part, know how to refound the relationship on the basis of trust . Therefore, once the couple has exposed the situation and debated widely on the issue leaving aside initial resentment, it is necessary to make clear that if a second chance is given, it is starting from scratch through a commitment assumed by both parties, which It implies that the person who has been unfaithful is consistent with the opportunity that is being offered and does not make the same mistake again.
But the other part also must make the effort to continue without looking back , avoiding at all costs to mention what happened and fall into accusations or reproaches, because one of the main problems that couples often face after having lived this type of situation is the classic "I forgive but I do not forget".
This can induce one of the parties to permanently remember what happened by treating their partner as a "revenge". being able to fall into psychological abuse and that the affected person usually accepts because he thinks he deserves it, producing an exchange of roles in which the "victim" becomes a victimizer, possibly because they missed one of the previous points or did not reinforce themselves as they should, although in the cases those involved are unable to establish the zero point of departure as anchor, separation would be an option to contemplate so as not to prolong the suffering.