Overprotected children: 6 educational errors that damage them
The desire to want children to enjoy the most of that stage of life can lead to child overprotection with astonishing ease .
What at first may seem simple help and emotional support, sometimes, it gets to magnify and flood almost all areas of life of children, making can not develop the necessary personal skills to get to conquer autonomy slowly.
And it is that if overprotection is so harmful is, in part, because it is not always easy to differentiate it from the natural kindness that adults show to the youngest. That is why it is very important to recognize the signs that a child is being deprived of the possibility of developing psychologically as it should through basic learning.
Falloss educational and child overprotection
Below you can see many of the frequent mistakes that are behind the appearance of spoiled and overprotected children .
1. Assume that education is a school thing
Some parents assume the idea that the only challenges that the youngest children in the house have to face are those of the school. That is to say, the only place where they should strive to do things is between the walls of the school, and that outside of this parents or guardians must offer all possible facilities as "compensation" .
But this does not work like that; The main intellectual and emotional competences are learned outside of school, and that means that you have to make an effort to progress once school hours are over.
2. Avoid conflicts at all costs
Some parents and teachers prefer to avoid problems by giving up the possibility of negotiating with children when a conflict of interest appears. The idea behind this strategy is that the child himself or girl he will realize spontaneously that he has acted capriciously .
The results of this, of course, are not as positive as one would expect from this logic. In fact, such a naive strategy translates into something very simple: the little ones always get away with it ... at least in the short term, because always doing what you want is the shortest way to overprotection and the lack of autonomy.
3. The belief that frustration is bad
The vision of a child who feels discomfort or a certain degree of frustration can become almost unbearable for some adults, who will quickly offer their help and protection.
However, it is convenient lose the fear of the possibility that someone who is going through childhood may experience frustration , if it appears promptly.
Frustration is something that the little ones should be able to foresee and learn to manage, since otherwise, when no one can help them, everything will be a ball and they will have to try to learn by forced marches what to do, without having previous experience in the case.
4. Trust blindly in vicarious learning
Some parents and educators believe that the simple fact of solving a child's problem in front of their eyes makes them learn the lesson and can repeat that strategy in the future.
It is true that learning through what we see others doing, or vicarious learning (concept developed by the psychologist Albert Bandura), is one of the mechanisms by which we adapt to the challenges posed by life, both in childhood and during the rest of life stages. However, in itself it is not enough, and it can not be the only modality of learning.
To master a competition well you have to participate in the problems in which it must be applied. This will be known by anyone who has tried to teach someone computer science: take control of the mouse and show the sequence of clicks necessary to perform an operation means immediate oblivion by the poor apprentice if you are not familiar with the program.
5. The basic error of priorities
Another common error that produces small overprotected is to assume that the goal of education is to be good to the boy or girl, to establish a strong affective bond.
This affective bond is very important, but it is not in itself the objective of teaching. Because, It is harmful to reward the lack of initiative and inaction , and it is necessary to pose reasonable and assumable challenges that the children can carry out. This will not only make them learn, but also make them feel good by noticing a sense of conquest each time something goes well and, of course, will be beneficial for their self-esteem.
6. The mime competition
To educate it is necessary to self-examine and reflect on the reasons that lead us to treat children as we do.
And, encompassed in this task of analyzing one's motivations, it is essential that we stop to think about whether we are spoiling a child too much simply because of the social image produced by educating someone who is always with all their needs covered ( that not necessarily happy).
Especially in the case of parents, this mime competition that leads to comparing the treatment offered to the children with whom friends and neighbors seek their own can be a great temptation that should be avoided; After all, each person has an unreliable and unreal image about how they are educated in other people's houses.