Pampered children: 10 signals to detect them
The education of the children is crucial so that they do not grow up as spoiled children. Many parents think that giving everything to their little ones will make them grow up healthy and intellectually stimulated, but in reality this strategy usually goes wrong.
In fact, pampering children can be detrimental to the development of these and to turn them not only into capricious children, non-conformist and lacking in social skills, but into adults incapable of managing frustration. In adulthood, the consequences of having had everything during the first years can be even worse than in childhood, with serious relational problems and poor emotional health.
- Related article: "What is Emotional Intelligence? Discovering the importance of emotions"
The fault is, often, of the parents
Parents often believe that they do the right thing, and even with the best intentions, they can spoil a child. Some of the behaviors of parents who can raise pampered children They are the following:
- Make them feel like the center of the universe.
- Do not reinforce your positive behavior.
- Reinforce negative behavior
- Do not enforce the rules consistently.
- Do not impose limits on children.
- Give in to tantrums.
- Make gifts to children when they do not touch.
- Act (the father) as a spoiled child.
You can delve into these points in this article: "The 8 basic tips for not spoiling your child"
How are spoiled children?
How is it possible to recognize spoiled children? In the following lines you can find a list of signals to detect them.
1. They get angry frequently and have constant tantrums
If something characterizes spoiled children is his attitude towards parents and other individuals with whom they relate . Since they always get what they want, they do not need to develop negotiation skills nor are they able to understand that today other points of view are different from theirs.
Nor are they empathic and if they do not have what they want at the moment they want it , they become aggressive and their tantrums erupt. It is easy to see a spoiled child even threatening their parents, because they always think that they are right and are gaining power over parents over time.
2. They do not mind embarrassing you in public
This attitude in which they get angry frequently and give free rein to their tantrums is not only limited to the home environment, but can be carried out anywhere, even in public. Many times they embarrass their parents with this attitude in which it is appreciated that they do not understand where the limits of their behavior are.
3. Avoid conflicts at all costs
It is easy to see parents fed up, to the point that many times they even avoid conflicts and agree with their children.
The little ones know that they will get away with it, and ... then why change? This becomes a vicious circle, in which the child knows that he gets what he wants by acting like that and the father avoids conflicts with his problematic child, which reaffirms the latter's behavior that maintains this challenging behavior.
The child understands that his attitude receives his reward constantly and his negative behavior is reinforced.
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4. They do not help
Not acquiring social skills also affects the relationship with others, so spoiled children are not collaborators (not only with parents), but are rather selfish. They will not participate in household chores because they do not need it. They go for free, and this is also seen in their relationships outside the family.
5. They are disobedient
Disobedience is one of the characteristic features of spoiled children , because they have always done what they wanted when they wanted. And is that as the years pass, it is more difficult to redirect the child to another type of attitude and behavior.
The pattern is one of continuous disobedience and hostility towards authority figures , and causes important problems in family coexistence.
6. They constantly challenge
Besides disobedient, these children are challenging, so they never accept a "no" answer or do anything that is asked of them. They always put themselves on the defensive and become aggressive. They are usually intolerant children , who do not want to follow the rules and ignore the parents when they are reproached.
- Related article: "Positive Punishment and Negative Punishment: How do they work?"
7. They do not show an altruistic attitude
Sharing is not always easy, especially at an early age, but many children can show altruistic behavior if they are well educated. From the age of 4, It is more common for children to start sharing their toys or your food with the people around you. The selfishness of the little spouses makes them not children who like to share.
- Maybe you're interested "The theory of moral development of Lawrence Kohlberg"
8. You have to bribe them to behave as you want
Being challenging and never wanting to do what is asked of them, always leads to the opposite. Anything that is asked of them becomes a drama and a conflict, from which they always emerge reinforced. That is why many parents choose to bribe them so that they meet your expectations. For example, telling him "if you eat the food I will take you to the park".
9. Nothing satisfies them
Spoiled children are children who they do not value what they have , because they always get what they want. They are dissatisfied children and they tend to want more and more. This not only happens when they are small, but in adulthood they continue to have this behavior, which makes them extremely unhappy people.
10. They try to control you at all costs
Spoiled children end up having control over their parents, since in the end they always get away with it. Some of them directly ignore when they are asked for something, but others face and exercise control even with the figures of authority that are part of his family . If the parents decide to give in to avoid conflicts, the child receives the message that he has the power to do whatever he wants.